Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Denise is the host.
The rule to make your story six (and only six) sentences in length.
This week: the next installment in ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf‘.(the most recent chapters…you’re welcome)
The prompt word:
Effervescent
“She loved you; you threw it all away; just because Haley made the choice to accept your assessment of the relationship, didn’t mean she agreed; no one is sent to hell, they choose to go…” my inner voice paused, giving me time to realize I wasn’t where I had been, courtesy of the nameless people bending their pedestrian trajectories like clean water parting to either side of an abandoned car mired in a riverbed, as I sat on the granite staircase outside the front of the St. Pancras Hotel.
The dark ends of the street in either direction began to pulse blue, brick and granite walls acquiring an effervescent quality; a shift in the faces over me changed, for some to approval, “About bloody time someone called them,” anger for others, “Lets coddle another layabout and bankrupt the NHS;” I decided that I needed to be somewhere else and staggered upright long enough to lurch in the direction of least resistance.
As I tried to outrun the sirens, the city decided to become a storm-tossed ship, sidewalks tilting in slow motion offset by the brick walls which stood their ground allowing me to scuff down them in whichever direction held the most darkness and the least spectators.
“Easy there, mate,” the voice came from one of the faces that circled my field of vision, each exchanging significance as soon as I managed to focus; finally the wall that I shoulder-skidded over opened and I fell into the dark void that gave it meaning,
“What are we going to do with you” this voice was different, it was strong without challenge, and caring without need to be acknowledged.
“Don’t just stand there, bring him over here on the sofa….” the voice grew in volume as her face turned in my direction, “Mother Lilith be merciful, aren’t you in a world of hurt.”
About clarkscottroger
This line is captivating –
As I tried to outrun the sirens, the city decided to become a storm-tossed ship, sidewalks tilting in slow motion offset by the brick walls which stood their ground allowing me to scuff down them in whichever direction held the most darkness and the least spectators.
thank you, Reena
Such lovely prose, carrying us forward as the story unfolds…
yeah… I’m with you on that*
*not having a clue how the story proceeds from here
I am always reminded of the RCA Victor dog when I read your stuff. I’m spellbound and though I never have heard it, I can hear your voice. Good six
Thanks, Paul. (High compliment, that… voice is the thing I suspect we’re all after when starting the writing thing)
The imagery took me away to a magical place, thank you.
Good opener. To date, we’ve not gotten a close up and personal glimpse into Ian’s psyche, his emotional vulnerability. Seems he has a dark side subject to a wee bit of sublimation?
Sentence #3 is incredibly visual and intense. It’s not customary for our favorite PI not to be in control. At least he has fallen into safe hands :)
yeah, like who knows where this is going (and though I don’t, I do know the characters in play and just getting everyone involved guarantees a good time)
If this is his lowest point, i am guessing he can only go up from here.
this is true (at least in terms of this case)
It appears those brick walls did not stand their ground. Nice line: ” I fell into the dark void that gave it meaning”. I also like the thought of lurching in the direction of least resistance. Good reminder at the beginning that those in hell choose to be there.
Thanks, Frank. It was a challenge to create a description that keys in to at least a piece of all the Reader’s experiences.
The video goes extremely well with your SSS and some of the lines in it. Well done.
thanks, Pat. struggled with the prompt word for the longest time. had one framing of the word but it had nothing to do with the rest of the scene… then I came across the vid (heck the word was right there! lol)
For me finding the music of the scene is a huge benefit (and makes the process more enjoyable).
You painted a vivid, surreal and quite disturbing picture here.
Excellent!
Thank you, C.
That was a really engaging story, full of great description.
It (this Six and the two serials that grow from each installment) was fun…