Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Denise is the host.
The rule is minimal and simple: use the prompt word for a story of six (and only six) sentences.
This is a Whitechapel Interlude week! The following is the next installment in our serial story. It does not always happen that one week’s installment is a direct continuation of the story, but it’s fun when it does. This is one of those weeks. (For the lead-in, click this.)
This week’s prompt word is:
ZIP
“Sarah, Anselm, please allow me to introduce Mother Hedwig Schader, she is visiting from our Eibingen, Germany, chapter,” the Reverend Mother nodded to her left and pressed her thin lips towards us; clearly enjoying her role as host, her eyebrows moved up loquaciously and, putting her hand on the larger woman’s added, “May we join you?”
Brother Abbott, materializing in the doorway as the two approached our table, rushed to hold a chair for our visitor, an impressive move, given the tureen in his left hand, an impromptu thurible, blessing the dinning room with the aroma of stew, and pulled out a chair with a slight bend to the waist.
I remained seated, obedient to our Reverend Mother’s patting motion, and felt a nudging from Sarah’s knee, who was returning the ghost of a smile from our superior; there was a silent exchange between the girl seated to my left and the older woman that I’d almost succeeded in translating, when our guest from Germany spoke.
“”Ach main gott, your eggstrodinary mutton stew is the stuff of legend in our Order, Brother Abbott.”
Brother Abbott is a large man, yet he manages, with the admittedly shapeless robes of our Order, to appear quite unimposing, yet given the impressive girth of our visiting dignitary, watching his chest expand and his back straighten left me speechless; my left knee would show bruises as a result of Sarah’s decision to use it as a telegraph keypad.
“Our vows to Mother Lilith are to be moderate in all things, but ze aroma is so enticing,” Brother Abbott leaned forward towards our guest, a bowl and spoon materializing in his hand, until she demurred, “Aber, not the bowl, just a little zip.”
About clarkscottroger
very visual. interesting.
thank you
The Teutonic Tongue is alarmingly titilating. Great six from one of myy favorite wordsmiths.
thanks, Paul
Very pleasant imagery.
I like the materializing bowl and spoon and the resisted temptation of Mother Schader to take more than a “zip” of the soup.
talk about odd paths to a story…. the accent-transformed word sip into the prompt word zip was my starting point. the details were fun to discover, such as Brother Abbott being so taken by Mother Schader
A very visual Six, with accents of humor.
ty, DA… the fun was for me to discover as I sought to give Reverend Mother Schader the opportunity to impart a Germanically-shaped zip
Such a wonderful word painting. This line made me chuckle. . .”my left knee would show bruises as a result of Sarah’s decision to use it as a telegraph keypad.”
I enjoyed that as well, so many different images we conjure when imagining two (young) people trying to communicate slightly and unobtrusively
I can picture the people in this story like a scene of a movie.
thank you, Romi
Wonderful how you so beautifully describe in a way to give the reader the best possible visuals.
(kinda like, ‘Hey! Come, look at what I found!’)
This is my hands-down fave part of the episode–well done! “her eyebrows moved up loquaciously”.
thanks (that was one of the situations we all encounter… the Reverend Mother’s response to the situation could have been all Six Sentences…. in trying to further introduce her to the Reader, as she has been on the periphery of the story to date… good practice, though)
Good way to introduce a character–with a visual phrase that sticks in readers’ minds.
Just a zip…you’re killing me!
The introduction of a visitor, Mother Hedwig, though for me Brother Abbot steals the show with his well-timed materialising and kind gestures + we learn something of his physical appearance. Interesting how an established character can ‘reflect’ off a new character.
yeah, a ton of ‘stuff’ to do in that scene… Six Sentence Story as wind sprints for creative writing)
Don’t tell anyone, but Mother Hedwig is there only because I got stuck with the idea that zip and sip were exchangeable, given the right accent. (Almost pulled it off)
You know, for some of us, this fiction writing thing is realization of a high school daydream, the one where, like in some movies from the 80s and 90s, the way cool protagonist would walk through campus, greeted by nearly everyone (in that mythical, ‘we’re glad you’re here’ sense) and, given enough time (or large enough campus) acquires a group of friends/cohorts/allies. And… and! in the way of ninety minute movie screenplay, the adventure finds the hero/heroine/protagonae rather then have them seek it out.
ah! fiction