Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Denise is the host and she has one thing to tell you, “Write a story employing the prompt word and keep it to six, and only six, sentences (and) comment on each other’s stories and such.”
This is an Ian Devereaux week and so our Six will be the next installment in ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf‘
This week’s prompt word:
CHANGE
We walked along streets that were old before there were calendars and pretended we were strangers; Leanne took in Wiesbaden’s subtly Russian architecture without comment, her face shimmering with an abstract intensity.
“What’s wrong?”
“Feeling mortal.”
“Damn… next to being in love, is there any state of mind that offers more promise or greater cost?”
Looking up at me with a sidelong glance, Leanne pulled my arm under her own and laughed, a silent invitation that made me feel closer than any of our nights of physical intimacy.
Standing on thousand-year-old cobblestones, we waited for the solid-state, web-connected traffic light to change; neither one of us in a hurry.
About clarkscottroger
Excellent Six. So much spoken in so few words.
(you tellin’ us Bogie and Hepburn were a clark and a scott respectively? :D )
thank you
Oh wow, oh wow, Oh WOW! Not a wasted word among ’em, and every single one a Brilliant gem…and best of all, I actually understood the piece. BRAVO!! And I totally enjoyed it :) I’m curious whether you prefer one, or the other, of the 2 serial stories you’ve got going? I’ve not come to a decision yet…but when I do, I’ll let you know :)
Hope you have a great weekend coming up…you may need to rest before reading my “6”–it’s actually a “12”, 2 episodes rolled into one (permission from Denise)…featuring Finn and James. I fear my characters are going to run off with the story, and no longer let me laze around, week to week with 6 sentences. Today I no longer doubted it will be a 6-sentence-chapters novel…oh, Bedelia, what have you done to me? Blessings to you and the fam!
Thank you, J.
If I had to make a choice, I’d favor the Ian Devereaux (the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf) if only because this is the second story in that world I’ve written. Kinda like the pulp detective, 1st person POV vibe.
Of course, the Whitechapel Interlude is fun because I’ve got some interesting characters (all I have to do is figure out what they will be doing next…lol)
The Whitechapel Interlude came about courtesy of a thing I enjoy doing whenever I find someone who agrees (that it’s fun), doing a ‘walk on’ in a Six.
In this case, Frank Hubney mentioned time travel stories and he said he’d be interested in my take on one and, I’m, like, ‘I’m there!’
It (the walk-on) works well in a serial story, because the world and primary characters are established so all that’s necessary is a little plot and ‘plenty of room’ in the Six.
If you ever feel like doing a walk on (in either serial) let me know and I’d send you an ‘early copy’ of the week’s Six to write off of..,
example, a few years ago I did one with Valerie and the scene included supporting characters which she focused on for her Six. So, it was recognizably the same story, except we followed the action that branched off. I should look it up.
havent heard that song in ages
at first glance hepburn looks like michael jackson
oh…and good six btw.
Thanks, Paul
Though I wasn’t a rabid Jefferson Airplane fan at the time, I was caught by it being an interesting cover.
I like the association of “feeling mortal” while walking on “thousand year old cobblestones”.
dusty corridors of time, no?
Really appreciated this. Six sentences that seemed longer because of their subject matter and the tangents it kept generating.
Thanks, Doug… I vary from week to week… I enjoy the extreme visual writing, heavy on the imagery and metaphor and whatnot…but then, I gots to get my pulp on and go for the spare prose (Example of spare prose that I’d give anything to have the chops to write: (Chandler, I think): “She had the kind of body that would make a bishop kick out a stained glass window.” damn!)
Indeed, “falling in love” is a very mortal feeling.
I conçu, Mis M
Since I’m not familiar with the background of this story, I am wondering what “waiting for the solid-state” may exactly mean…
the ‘waiting fro the solid-state’ was in reference to a modern traffic signal on a street in an ancient European city (Wiesbaden) in contrast to the thousand-year-old cobblestones of the streets
Well done, Sir Clark, succinct and sweet this six. Your characters just got deeper.
I’m a sucker for a good love story and this 6 did a fine job.
Thank you.
np*
*Milennial for “I don’t have the attention span for ‘You’re welcome, how about 2 letters instead?”
;p
Ditto to what Phyllis said. Great concluding line.
Thanks, Pat
A romantic Six with the only pace required being that of the unhurried steps of the two characters. (One can only wonder how many lovers have passed across those ‘thousand-year old cobblestones’).
I like the line: “next to being in love, is there any state of mind that offers more promise or greater cost?”
(‘divorce’ ?)
:)
I am an old cynic today. Tomorrow I search those cobblestones in earnest once more!
A fine Six, sir!
Thanks, V.
I’ve probably said this before, but the genre (pulp-1st person-detective) seems to make lines like those more visible… like playing 12 bar blues in A… it’s staring you in the face… it being a) 12th fret leads and 2) the lean metaphor*
*totally know I’ve cited this example but its my favorite (and a working ideal) from Raymond Chandler: ““It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.” iiiy-fricken-eee to have the talent to come up with a line like that!
A warming six to select the delights of simpler times, when touch and talk and companionship were enough.
thank you Lisa