Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This an installment in the on-going and quite popular bloghop, (the) Six Sentence Story.
It, (the bloghop, not the installment), is hosted by Denise. She maintains, as did the hostinae before her, that our only concern, once provided the week’s prompt word, should be to fashion a story six sentences in length. No more. No less.
For our part, we’ve been following a certain convention in our participation in the Six Sentence Story ‘hop, and that is (to) submit the latest episode from one of two serial stories, ‘the Whitechapel Interlude’ and ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf’. This is an Ian Devereaux week, Ian being the protagonist in a series of detective stories, of which ‘Fig Leaf’ is the second.
In the interest of Reader enjoyment and with recognition of the difficulty of maintaining story-continuity when published in every-other-week intervals, we will provide two aides: A link to the full story and a link to the episode that preceded the story below: ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf‘ (and) Chapter Five.
(Let us know if this helps.)
Prompt Word:
TENDER
[Eibigen Abby
Rüdesheim am Rhein, Germany]
Stepping free of the penumbra radiating from the monastery, Thelma and Ephraim’s only son grew a smile of triumph, wading through the shadows into morning sunlight that lapped at the edges of the courtyard from the designated parking area like wavelets from a tropical sea.
The woman at his side, who, he was certain, stood in his defense in the darkness beneath the ancient building, hours or years before, tilted her face to his ear; holding his hand in her own, said in a voice, both tender and admonishing, “Our Lady will forgive you.”
Dr. Elias Thunberg, former Radcliffe department chair and published academic, weighed the merits of a peremptory harumph against the arguably more elegant coup de grâce of an arched brow, felt contact with her parting as she remained in the shadow of the brick-and-dogma structure; his momentum propelled him forward, but not before she transformed into a helpless woman of advanced age who called out to the crowd of tourists gathered around the parked bus, “My God, he’s dying, someone call 911!”
Leanne Thunberg’s first true love, a fact for her, an assertion to him, felt a silent vacuum draw the warmth from his fingers and the certainty from his legs; an instinct-driven part of his mind snarled as the faces of the tour group rotated silently to orient on him, time-lapsed sunflowers seeking a cloud-obscured sun.
Stripped of advanced degrees and the fawning peer-review of his former life, Elias felt the earth shifting on its mortal axis and his unique place in the world become untethered, a rudderless boat drawn by time and gravity to the edge of the abyss.
A vibration grew and took up residence somewhere behind his eyes, running along his jawline, into his scalp and he fell forever towards the ground; fearless of pain, yelling voicelessly to an indifferent audience how outstanding a job his was doing of dying, Dr. Elias Thunberg did not notice his death approach, it’s touch on his shoulder eternal.
About clarkscottroger
Most excellent dude. Chopin. A fave BTW. Great six. as always and thanks for pimping us out on the book of face.
thanks Paul (the Facebook intro is usually a good spot for all the words and phrases and such left over from the week’s Six)
Well, damn! Did not see that coming. (or did I? :D)
Love the poetically drawn lines of today’s Six.
ty
(neither did I)
I liked the description of the boat being drawn to the abyss by time and gravity.
surely those are two elements that must occupy the minds of the passengers of such a boat
Oh my goodness…BRAVO, 5-Star Excellence, Clark! I’ll confess this is probably the one I’ve given my 100% attention to…but now I’ve a taste for More. I’ll see if I can list my fave picks: “grew a smile” and “wading through shadows like sea”; “brick and dogma structure” (WOW) and “transformed into helpless woman of advanced age”; ALL of paragraphs 4, 5 and 6–and especially the line about what a fine job he was doing of dying. The entire 6 WOW’d me, Clark–thanks for showing me what Bedelia will now have to live up to, you’ve moved the bar quite high!! Jael
Thank you, Jael
This one was a challenge. I knew I wanted to refresh the narrative of the missing husband (I hope his ex-wife doesn’t find out he died too quickly) or there won’t be a reason to hire Ian Devereaux to find him and, this is an Ian Devereaux story. But, we’ve all read book where time is variable (relative to primary storylines) so hopefully I’ll have a secondary motivation appear here somewhere. After all, this is about the Order of Lilith, not Elias Thunberg.
I was saying/commenting to V (Vintage Toy Collector) that part of what I enjoy in writing serials is the sense that it is a ‘live’ performance. Like playing in a club on open mic night, the story unfolds as I write it and, since I don’t have a complete story in mind, I have to try and write what gets us closer to closing the circle, in a sense.
or something like that
trust all is going well(ish)*
* lol I tried a NahNahNiNahNahRite months once… ayiiee you have my total respect wrestling that lion
Hello, my serial writer friend! I always enjoy your comments…we often have similar views, and the live performance aspect is so relatable :) Thanks for your “wrestling the lion” note–I’m exhausted… I doubt I’ve mentioned it to you, but the novel is a (Christian) mystery–which was totally unexpected to me, the author, until I began writing it last November. I wouldn’t have thought I had it in me to do a mystery. But actually, Bedelia–and any novel that’s about people’s lives–is a mystery, right? Some days I fully expect Bedelia and Finn will marry…and others, when I’m thinking “if I could not do it, could she?”, I’m no longer certain. So I guess we’ll all just have to wait and see :) Take good care of you–catch y’all later!
cool (the idea of a novel being unexpected) I had a similar experience with ‘Almira’ It actually started with a Six Sentence Story…200k words later lol
If you’re at the stage where those who live in your story are real enough to be willing to tell you what happens next, trust them and write it down as they relate it… that, imo, is where the magic lives
(famous-saying-to-be) “I’m not so much the author as a devoted and loyal stenographer”
Great words! And I fully expect Bedelia’s 6-sentence chapters will become a novel–so you’ve encouraged/inspired me with your note about your “6” becoming a novel, 200K words later–thanks MUCH for that! :) And the famous saying to be–absolutely that’s me: “devoted, loyal stenographer”…again, huge Thanks!
quite welcome..
What a job he did of dying. Wow.
Thank, Mimi
Sentence #5 is superb!
TY, DD
What a slow motion effect, that dying sequence… that’s close enough!
yeah, funny the places we find ourselfs when we set to writing fiction by the seat of the pants… this (as I was alluding to Jael) was tough ’cause all I knew at the outset (Monday sometime) was that the Six/Episode had to involve Elias and the Abbey in Germany. A lot of shifting perspectives (not simply POV shifting, more a matter of daydream shifting… as the mysterious nuns would see it, as Elias would as the tourists (who surely got their money’s worth from that tour) then, as it often happens, I thought, ‘ok, how effectively can you write a death scene?’ (Elias’s fate was sealed when that thought completed lol) Should be interesting how to shift the search for someone who is dead to investigating the Order of Lilith. Fortunately for me, Leanne Thunberg is both a formidable and interesting character.
Such. Such. Such…everything! You blew it up to Technicolor quality.
Thank you, Lisa
(love that phrase… blowing it up)