Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Run by Denise.
She will inspect your letters of transit (count your sentences?)
This is a Whitechapel Interlude week. Read up on the story here.
You know, how sometimes, in the true spirit of flash fiction, we don’t slow down enough to read the backstory. As a public service, permit me to employ that most helpful, (and, I suspect, more difficult to execute than it appears), classic TV series trope:
…previously in the Whitechapel Interlude,
The appearance of a time traveler in the East London district of Whitechapel causes the local chapter of the Order of Lilith to enter a state of high, if not very discreet, alert. Spanning the ages, existing in the shadows of history, the Order is not as alarmed by the fact of time travel as it is concerned with the reason for it to occur at this time and in this place. Brother Abbott assigns recent recruit Anselm to follow the visitor and report on his activities. Anselm takes on the role of a bellboy and escorts the traveler, Mr. Egmont, according to the registry, to his suite on the St. Pancras hotel. Meanwhile, in the anteroom of the holding cell in local chapter of the Order, Sister Sarah has an encounter, that the approaching years of study might have given her the sufficient tools and weapons.
Lets rejoin our story, already in progress.
Prompt word:
FOUNDATION
Rolling her head on the dried porridge surface of the stone floor, Sarah felt, then saw, the door burst open a spilt-second ahead of Brother Abbott; lassitude flowed and carried her along the edges of alert and entirely-elsewhere, as she watched him, fists clenched like a cloth bag of chestnuts, a telltale filigree of concern softening his voice, “Sarah, are you alright?”
Sarah was young and, in keeping with the Order of Lilith’s view on the care and training of the body, balanced on the edge of thinly-muscled and being mistaken for a boy; from her perspective, the man entering the room, with a quickness that should have blurred outlines and swept back his brown hair, was quite large and nearer the age of parents than friends.
Had she been only a few years more advanced in her studies and training, the mixed reaction flaring in both her mind and her body would have raised an alarm; Brother Abbott’s display of powerful grace in the first two seconds upon entering the room was both surprising and oddly exciting; even a little more study would have flagged the deepening of her breath and narrowing of eyes.
Kneeling at her side, he became the foundation of her world; one hand lightly touched her throat, his eyes first to the black rectangle of the holding cell then to her, Brother Abbott’s breathing was un-labored, yet his nostrils flared like a race horse after crossing the finish line first, as he scanned her for broken bones or worse, flowing blood.
Sarah was drawn from the peaceful calm that flourished in the lethal competence that radiated off his broad shoulders by a sense of another, which was impossible, a mistaken assumption that was the true price of her naiveté.
“Hello Sarah, it appears you and I are going to be close…very close friends,” despite her fear, Sarah reached up and grasped Brother Abbott’s forearm with a strength that, were he not still in full attack mode, might have added something to his relief as his favorite student rose from the floor.
About clarkscottroger
Very interesting.
ty PS
You slay me man. Most excellente!
Gracias señor
Sounds like Sarah is not “Just a Girl”, very nice 6.
ty
Brilliant composition!
Thank you, Reena
I am left wondering what kind of friends they might become to be.
ah there hangs the tale
Oh, man. Sarah be hijacked! Of course, we saw that coming in the last installment but still…
Love seeing Brother Abbott in the role of warrior/protector. Now. About “who” is keeping Sarah “company” – :D
hey, tow souls of supposed to be better than one, right?
Your day can only get better if you start it by lying on the floor in a puddle of dried porridge.
this is a true statement!
A palpable 6… 😮
thank you, always a compliment when it comes to these Sixeseses
Reading this made me think of The Woman In White (Wilkie Collins)–so you’re on par with the classics!
I should read this (whistle noise) oh kindle! here Kindle
It’s kind of a long read, and of course the language is old, somewhat tedious (not that yours is!), but still… :)
Good episode concentrating on these two in confined quarters.
Sarah gets tough, must get tough, tougher, so many things must be racing through her mind… esp that voice claiming friendship?
PS. The food must be really bad if they throw the porridge on the floor all the time.
This Six is mostly a challenge to myself/learning exercise… that Sarah gets possessed by whatever it is in that cell comes as no major surprise, writing it (especially in 3rd person) struck me as, ‘hey, if you can pull that off you be totally stylin’
Think I almost got it right.
The thing is, (for me), I don’t want to beat the Reader over the head with it, but I need, (this possession lick), to be at very least one of two assumptions to make after reading.
(Somehow, I’m wanting it, this “Holy shit! Sarah has the spirit of the thing in the cell in her now”, to be strong enough to not be ignored, but at the same time, still an option for the Reader).
I tend to do that with characters. In my Story ‘Almira’ (sequel to Wizard of Oz) I’v got like, all of two characters, who are straight-out, no-chance-of-being-anything-but bad guys*) everyone else is more than good guy/bad guy (or, at least that is my ambition with the story)
Then there is the matter of these Sixes (both …’the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf’ and ‘the Whitechapel Interlude’) being episodes of a serial story.
Every other week is a big interval and while the ‘perviously on...’ mechanism helps, its still a matter of not only how much does the returning Reader recall, but what about the new Reader?
Still, I like the form, (serial stories), so I’ll keep plugging away. Though more than a single narrative or story lines might be unrealistic in the Six format. ‘cept the next installment in Whitechapel. I will be returning to Anselm and the time traveler he’s been assigned to follow, (both last seen in a hotel suite with one of them disguised as a bellboy) The main reason is I stumbled across a song that I really liked that should fit.
lol
Its interesting how music (videos) can not only enhance the reading pleasure but, for me, in the last couple of instances, have a direct influence on the writing… ‘Smooth’ in the last Missing Fig Leaf appeared before I’d written anything. I did know the Six would deal with the flight to Paris, but the tone (of the song) totally helped the writing.
*one of them is Auntie Em. lol
The ‘previously’ feature is a good mechanism as a reminder for those following. And you’re right that serials risk losing new readers who might not want to click back to earlier episodes. I guess the trick is to constantly make each episode link and flow, yet also stand alone – so a brand new reader can still enjoy it without any backstory. Not as easy as it might sound.
Kudos though for keeping not just one but two serials going.
Our Six friend over at Zack&Zelda who writes about Bedelia also keeps it going.
To think of all those old, old novels which were originally published in that format, only difference is back then people went out and bought the journal/paper/magazine rather than reading online.
I don’t even know if there is an online journal that caters just for serials?
Interesting anyways… I’ve been tempted to go down the route once or twice, but too many ideas jostling elsewhere for space, plus novel to finish, plus other writing projects. I admire your dedication to stick with it.
Don’t tell anyone, but the thing about writing a serial is the instant gratification… lol
I admire you guys who can stay with a novel and writing it until it’s complete and polished.
(I kinda think of serials and Sixes like live performances down at the local bar or coffee shop on open mic night… given my seat-of-the-pants approach, the episodes surely have a certain element of suspense, “Am I going to write myself into a corner….. wait! they liked it!”)
Now we get to wonder if she will live to go through the rest of her training.
hopefully we find Sarah to be interesting enough to want her to?