Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
This is the Six Sentence Story bloghop.
Denise is the host.
The goal is to write a story, using the week’s prompt word, in exactly six sentences.
This week we’re returning the Order of Lilith story, ‘the Whitechapel Interlude‘. (The title is linked back to the blog so you can read any or all the previous chapters.)
This week’s prompt word:
KETTLE
“You are certain, I trust, the binding fields are secure,” Brother Abbot turned from a wall covered with draw-bars and chains, pulleys and levers with mother-of-pearl handles, “While I do not question your work, this is your first guard duty with our,” although his broad shoulders seemed oriented on the dark rectangle of the cell door, he held his trainee’s gaze with a gentle ferocity, “guest, and in our Order, we help each other be certain.”
He moved across the small antechamber that separated the dark cell from the door to the outer corridor, watching Sarah, who had somehow moved to stand with her back to the cell; her head at a slight angle, as if trying to locate the source of a faint sound; “How curious, the sound a kettledrum might make were it to try and sing a melody, do you not hear it?”
Embedded In the nearly tactile darkness of the cell, the outline of a woman drawn on a black canvas; as if something drew light from the outer chamber, details grew more substantial, and with this increasing definition, temptation sent a silent invitation to see more, the promise of a beautiful discovery hung in the air.
The stolen illumination gathered and grew around the woman’s face, even as the light in the outer room dimmed; coalescing around her head there was created what could only be a halo.
“My God, how beautiful,” Sarah felt her body fly backwards through the air, even as she leaned forward to within a lover’s touch of the doorway; the sigils and symbols, glyphs and incantations carved into its wooden frame were flaring redly.
The occupant of the cell stood silently and stared, eyes raging with insatiable hunger; the glow from her face grew, momentarily creating the shape of sharply curved wings extending to her sides; Brother Abbott stepped between Sarah and the cell; the light inside the cell bled into the stone floor and the antechamber was again fully illuminated.
About clarkscottroger
You are a wild man. (That’s a good thing. ) Great six and great use of the cue. Love the painting and the music.
Thanks, Paul Tell about that painting! (actually was a ‘real’ painting, Rembrandt I believe)… the look I was going for was Tilda Swinton (as Gabriel in ‘Constantine’)
Uh, oh, lol
I’d say Brother Abbott better keep an eye on his trainee, Sarah. That’s a pretty wild “something” being held in that cell and I bet, if Brother A was not there, that something would have walked free. I could be wrong, but I’m thinking that might not be a good thing!
Totally agree
Another rich, dark and smooth* collection of words to make up this six in the saga, Mr Clark.
Slow tension. The evolution of the light and shadows. An angel.
The line: “…as she leaned forward to within a lover’s touch of the doorway…” is perfect.
*not a box of chocolates, but a case of jewels.
It. Rocks. :)
Thanks, V.
“…You never know what you’re gonna get”*
Interesting challenge (as are all the Sixes) in setting a scene and create action in a small space (both literal and rhetorical …-ly)
*F. Gump
This was quite the intensely descriptive tale, Clark!! I’m not exactly sure what’s happening in that cell, but the energy conveyed drew me up short! Excellent writing skills!!!
not so sure myself, other than the creature is a predator has taken a female form and doesn’t play nice at all
thank goodness for Brother Abbott
Ahh, but forms can be so deceiving!
surely this, (the ability to take on different forms), is the gift that has to make you wonder about the Creator’s intentions in creating the Adversary, no?
Was it intentional, or was it free will gone terribly amiss, much as with we mortals? That’s a deep question to ponder.
true. (the character of the question and the vast differences in the two most likely answers)
..btw being a fan of writing, I extend the offer of a character in our current story (the Whitechapel Interlude)… and, yes, the character that seems to offer the most fun and intrigue would be the predator/angel/whatever in the cell in this story. Surely the best way to answer your astute question (as to the intentions of god) would be to become the example of the question of free will and non-redeemable beings… nothing says that the un-named entity need remain in the cell)
(the era is the only challenge, imo and not so much having a sense of Victorian London in order to write it convincingly, but to be as immersed in the horrible conditions that seem so pervasive for that times….)
Thank you so much for the intriguing offer, but that’s a much bigger challenge than I am able to take on. I will, however, be fascinated to see where you go with her in upcoming episodes!
totally welcome…anytime you feel like a change of pace and, and might enjoy writing a ‘walk-on’ don’t hesitate to let me know (I’m clearly into the notion that, once characters and setting achieve a certain permanence, they are available for a multitude of uses, example as a shop owner observing main characters walking by… )
“How curious, the sound a kettledrum might make were it to try and sing a melody, do you not hear it?” Creative use of the prompt, and very descriptive, too.
Thank you, Kristi
Incredibly descriptive and captivating writing, Clark!
Thanks, Pat. it was fun to write*
* first draft had like a thousand words and was all over the place… of late it seems the writing, for me, is a winnowing process strip away as many words as possible. This tends to not only contribute a focus, but often allows me to ‘see the story’ more clearly. Interesting.
An ominous description with “eyes raging with insatiable hunger”.
must be a terrible fate, to be possessed by hunger without end
Whatever it is in there, i’d want to move away if i were Sarah, not closer.
youth is often less about defense and more about curiosity
Well done! Fascinating–not just the story, but the comment where you talk about the first draft and the “winnowing” process. I definitely struggled with that this week :)
Thank you, Z. I enjoy the process (execution and learning) that is available each week… trying to figure out how the others achieve a certain effect, reflecting on my own processes to get to the week’s end product.
I’m enjoying your story quite a bit as it is (to my own view) a serial story in the same sense as the Whitechapel Interlude and ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf’ I kinda liken this type of writing like a live musical performance…except I don’t particularly have a play list when I get up on stage each week…. its more..”Lets try this…”
‘course its not totally live, more of a ‘Hey! Listen/Read listen to this song I came up with.
Seat of the pants to the point that I have not yet given thought to the next installment… well, I am on an every other week thing. lol. plenty of time!
Thank you for sharing with me! Unlike your “seat of the pants” process, I’m living with Bedelia and Finn pretty much 24/7 :) Let me know if there was anything that particularly moved you in my latest episode :)
lol I know what you mean…. while I don’t live in the world of Ian Devereaux or Brother Abbott twenty four hours a day, I do the immersive thing…once I know which character and kinda what they are doing I will ‘daydream it’ while driving or sitting around…. (I’ve even had Wednesday nights, when I totally don’t have a clue, the Six show up and a ‘regular dream’…. ayiiee! oddly-exhausting )
especially liked the shift in POV between the two main characters.
(My own preference is to do 3rd POV for everyone except one who gets to be 1st person POV)
Thanks again for your writing input! It does sound like your experience is more exhausting than mine–the only part which tires me is in the editing, trying to “cut cut cut” it down to a reasonable number of words and make sure the sentences are clear…and that I’ve chosen the best words possible. See you next week!
Interesting premise, Clark. A shape shifter adapting its form to please the eye of the beholder. “An angel with raging eyes and insatiable hunger”. A hunger for souls perhaps. I can definitely see my favourite actress, Tilda Swinton in that role.
you are looking over my shoulder… I was totally thinking of Tilda (as Gabriel in ‘Constantine’). the notion of interchangeability of demon and angel is too much fun to ignore.
(still have your time traveller in the narrative…I have no idea what he’s all about… my invitation to other writers to do a ‘walk-on’ with certain characters is very much still a standing offer.)
(I was saying to someone, Denise or V the other day, the fun really starts when characters get real enough to maintain their personalities and a world is solid enough to be waiting for new action)
Wait…whaaaaaat?! You took a wonderful walk and ended with majesty.
Very cool, love this continuation of the tale, and the mystic overtones.
thank you, Miz Avery
(hey! new genre of flash fiction! card catalogue fantasy. aka Dewey Decimal Fiction)
lol
Kettle drum – interesting use of the prompt. And eerie drumbeats and surreal happenings. We must have been sending six sentence story vibes to each other!
yeah
I extend my offer of a ‘walk-on’ for the story, next time it comes up (next week, this week my Six will be my detective serial story, ‘the Case of the Missing Fig Leaf’)
… a walk-on can be any character seen or not yet seen in the story… a shop-owner observer the predator stalking Anselm or, if you get into the setting (Victorian London) I have some scenaria that you might enjoy.