Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Today we join our old friends (ok, lets rephrase that) our friends of many years, them folks over at the Finish the Sentence Friday bloghop.
They have a positive genius for devising prompts, (aka ‘sentences in need of finishing), that never fail to incite participants to find new and interesting insights, observations and ‘Wait, did I really say that?!’ No, seriously, these guys is dangerous; if, that is, you’re a writer who prefers to believe that you show very little to the world, (real or virtual), that isn’t on purpose. Something about the incomplete sentences that they invite you to complete and, more than likely, because of the skillful writing of Kristi and them, just makes a blogger want to dig deeper, ya know what I mean?
This week’s prompt is and sentence to be completed: “Word of the Year for 2020…”
“… is Identification.”
This is used as a verb, to designate a certain way to relate ourselves to the world around us and the people who make it up. There are many definitions and descriptions of the act of identifying with another; it, (the process of identification, identifying with another), is about the effort to appreciate how another person feels. It is about striving to see the world through another’s eyes. In fact, it is only when we manage to stop trying to match realities and compare ourselves to another and search for the commonalities, do the benefits kick in.
Not easy. We, most of us, are conditioned to respond to the familiar and reject, (or worse, hate, disregard, denigrate), the different and unfamiliar. But its totally worth the effort. The simplest of acknowledgements, ‘I know how that person feels’ returns so much more than we would have otherwise.
An interesting thing about identifying with people, at least from the personal reality of a clark*, is that all of the real benefits of identifying with another are available without necessarily directly interacting with the other person. It is a non-transactional relationship. I don’t have to ask if you mind if I identify with you. And, if, as usually results, I find my own self enhanced, as a result of identifying, I don’t ‘owe you one’. (Which is not to say I’m not grateful whenever I am able to identify with another person, its almost always a positive thing.) I began to encounter this effect when I first got to the virtual world. I met a variety of people and with some, I recognized them. Mostly other clarks, of course. But the whole value (imo) is that, by trying to appreciate how they feel, I realized that many things about myself are not as ‘unique’ as I was lead to believe.**
So, thanks to Kristi and the others participating in the FTSF ‘hop, I can remind myself that its all about trying to understand how the other person is experiencing a situation, a problem, an opportunity.
Even better, the effort to identify with others is good for me no matter what. By virtue of my attempt to see the world as the other person is experiencing it, I reinforce and strength my own appreciation of the belief that there is always more than one perspective.
* clarks are one of the three worldviews (aka personality types) of the Wakefield Doctrine. They are also referred to as Outsiders. There’s a ton of info in this blog, suffice it to say, ‘We not big on the normal social interactions and transactions that the other two types (scotts/Predators and rogers/Herd Members) take as the normal give and take of interpersonal life. But then again, that’s kinda what it is to be an Outsider.
** “Why do you have to be so weird all the time?” “You know, if you just didn’t mumble, people could hear you and would pay more attention.” “Don’t worry, you’ll grow out of it.” “Everyone wants to belong, its the natural order of things.”
About clarkscottroger
Gee, I can’t decide which image is the better one :D
What a marvelous word!
“Identification” is a state with the potential/provides the opportunity, to self evolve. I totally agree with you. The virtual world is an incredible learning forum and I speak not of the “book” stuff only. It’s the meeting and learning about people that holds the magic,the healing.
True dat
Excellent choice of a word, may it prove quite useful this year as you pursue it.
thanks, Mimi
Excellent word! Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people took the time to identify with others? There is always something that two people have in common, and usually they are more alike than not.
This is true, but it’s weird, the hurdle that is necessary, to allow that there is more than one reality/way to experience the world totally does not require us to relinquish our (realities), just it’s claim to be the ‘only real reality’… too bad, more perspective is shown to always be better than less.
This may be one of my favorite (non-fiction) posts ever of yours, and I’m not sure I can even say why. I think it’s got something to do with how perfectly perfect you describe the Clark personna or maybe, it’s that because I’ve been reflecting on my own outsiderness this year that I have my own new perspective of Clarks in general.
Also, given the world we now find ourselves in, “Identification” is more important than ever. I think that each day that goes by, I realize how important it is to really truly SEE others, even from behind the bushes. Identifying with others (either like us or not) truly does make the world view we carry around larger.
This line is brilliant by the way: “An interesting thing about identifying with people, at least from the personal reality of a clark*, is that all of the real benefits of identifying with another are available without necessarily directly interacting with the other person.”
So so very glad you linked up – and it really does feel lovely and familiar, and right somehow that we’re all getting vulnerable and explorish (totally a word) to connect, here, in the sphere. Mwah.
Thanks, Kristi btw: “I’m not sure I can even say why” is the most fundamentally enjoyable compliment I can imagine… ’cause, more time than not, I’m writing to connect to things that are not easily found in the everyday world.
I was mentioning to Dana, below, the irony is that to gain additional perspective, while scary the first time (‘but… if my reality is not the only one…where does that leave me?!) it is so much a better way to get through life. The other irony is the other hurdle people perceive in the process, but that person is a jerk and what they do/say/think doesn’t make any sense.. nothing says we have to sign up with their reality, we just need to accept that, as the Doctrine (and a ton of other people) remind us, ‘reality is, to small but very real degree, personal’. And surely there is nothing more critical to ‘personal’ than how we feel about (it).
Thanks for the most excellent of prompts.
What can I say, but absolutely perfect word, especially for the time and age we are living in. If others just took the time to see things from the other person’s perspective what a wonderful and truly amazing thing that would be. That said, I only hope we can all try to do this more this upcoming year and thanks for the reminder and necessary it is. Happy New Year and here is to amazing year for us all now :)
Yeah, thanks for mentioning perspective (along with identification)… the Wakefield Doctrine is about nothing if its not about allowing that there is more than one perspective available at any time/any place and by hearing others respond in kind has a reinforcing effect on my own effort.
As always, Clark, your way with words is clear. I love your choice of word and I love that there is an internal and external element. How important to connect with others and identify with them – yes, definitely. But I think in order to do that we also have to connect and identify with our Self. Your word sparks motivation for both discovery of self and discovery of others.
Thank you, Lisa.
A very good point, about how (the process of identification) is both about better understanding other and a fuller appreciation of the world (we all) have within. Because, when you think about it, the people who make up our worlds (our immediate, I-know-you, worlds) are either extensions or reflections of ourselves, to a certain degree, by a certain perspective.
One of our favorite things to say around here is that the Doctrine is intended to allow us to better appreciate ‘how we relate ourselves to the world around us’. And that suggestion is always followed by the qualification to the effect that we did not say, ‘how we relate to the world around us’, we said relate ourselves to… the implication of this is that it is better to know ourselves as well, as deeply, as thoroughly as possible (knowing fulling well that that is an on-going process.) Its just that if we don’t include ourselves (the good and the not-quite-as-good-as-we-prefer-except-sometimes) we are losing something in our relationships.
ya know?