Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Starting early, as I have my regular computer in the shop and typing is surprisingly difficult and typo-prone on a different key board.
This is, of course, the Six Sentence Story.
Our new host, Denise requests that all who would participate follow six very simple rules: write a story six (and only six) sentences in length.
We can do that, right?
Sure we can.
(Did someone say, ‘cyberpunk’? Sure… lets go for that genre this week)
The word?
Activate.
The hydraulic sneeze of a toilet somewhere on another floor brought a fragile consciousness, my bare legs moved slowly over the sheets, seeking the warmth of the old water-bed; I didn’t want to get up, preferring the, use-once-and-throw-away embrace of blankets that smelled of girl, passion and the hint of ether.
Favored by the well-heeled bio-enhancement tourist seeking basic creature comfort and post-op care, the hotel’s morning sounds triggered the memory-image of an attractive woman warning me that the anesthesia might mess with my memory.
“After a brief recuperation, you’ll be the proud owner of the latest in cerebral augmentation,” the surgeon’s real eye was beautiful, the scars on her other temple extended into her dark hair and were done in a deliberately elaborate pattern, like a 21st Maori with a medical degree and a scalpel. “It’ll override your HHS ID implant and read ‘100% country club genotype’, at any security checkpoint in the world,” she paused a second, “If you’re short the credits, I’m willing to take that multi-phasic corneal implant in your left eye as a partial trade; not that I care, but why the stealth, frankly this tech is over-the counter these days.”
“Well, doc, my grandfather was what they called, back in the 20th, a private eye and he was the best at what he did; nothing artificial in him other than society’s conditioning to consume and, maybe, the desire to impress any girl who gave him a second look; I’m just trying to uphold the family tradition. So what say you leave my cornea be, put the thing in my head, activate it and lemme go home; I got me some social network secrets to steal.”
About clarkscottroger
Damn good. My favorite 6 so far.
Do tell 😀 this be grandson of the famous Ian Devereaux??
One of my absolute all time favorite Queen songs.
You had me at hydraulic sneeze…I could hear it. Great 6
lol… (yeah, totally falling behind in the commentationing)
Oooh Clark! You never cease to amaze me with your ability to take a genre and make it your own. This was great, you packed so much into six sentences, and I loved the clever ending!!
it was a fun one to write… interestingly enough, I really started to get a feel for the scene after I ‘stumbled’ across the Queen song… strange (but cool) how that works
I found myself reading this SSS several times. That means I liked it and didn’t want to miss anything. :-)
I liked how you described the grandfather as “nothing artificial in him other than society’s conditioning to consume.”
thanks Pat!
holy moses…. this went to places I never expected. Why aren’t you writing this stuff in a longer format? Or maybe you are I’ve been out of the loop so long
not so much this particular Six, though it has references to a WIP
this one (and the one before) are the result of one of my ‘pre-write’ musings where I decided that I should try genre writing. lol yeah, I know that’s a real shortcut
in any event, the reference (from up in the future) is back to the character’s grandfather, Ian Devereaux a PI in the 20ths and the main character in my attempt to learn to write 1st person detective novels. In this case, I’ve decided to wait until I’ve finished the story before making it available on line/in a blog
its really good! You know how when you step away then come back to something is when you can observe the change in it? Wow man, you have honed your craft!
gettin there, yo. gettin there (thanks, as you have played a very real part in the (on-going) process) (and your little dog, too!)
not so much this particular Six, though it has references to a WIP
this one (and the one before) are the result of one of my ‘pre-write’ musings where I decided that I should try genre writing. lol yeah, I know that’s a real shortcut
in any event, the reference (from up in the future) is back to the character’s grandfather, Ian Devereaux a PI in the 20ths and the main character in my attempt to learn to write 1st person detective novels. In this case, I’ve decided to wait until I’ve finished the story before making it available on line/in a blog.
“…like a Maori with a medical degree and a scalpel…” Your descriptions always make me smile, kind of noir even when you’re maybe not trying to be. Always love your sixes!
smiles… in the ‘clark-school-of-self-taught-writing-and-shit’ I have the most fun with the noir stuff