Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Writing this ‘warm-up’ while still at the office. Four thirty and it’s still light out!
Anyway, today is Wednesday which means tomorrow is Thursday* And that means it time for zoe’s Six Sentence Story bloghop! This is where a prompt word is given and participants are asked to write a story that employs the word and is, in total, no more (or less) than six sentence in length.
This week the word is ‘Patient’
“Please remain on the line for the next available representative, be advised that your call may be recorded for re-straining purposes.”
The man stopped listening to the repeating song loop that he awoke to just an hour before, specifically (and repeatedly) the sexy voice of Pat Benatar announcing her intention to endure physical/emotional abuse at the hands of her partner, (the implication being that he/she would be unsuccessful and instead be abused by the abused), furrowed his eyebrows, and thought, ‘what did they just say?’
The hold tone music continued to play it’s repeated and just-short-of-a-melody-length sequence of notes; the man considered putting his phone on speaker so he could use both hands, but decided not to take the chance.
“We value your attention, please remain on the line, someone will be coming for you shortly,” for the second time, the man was startled out of his efforts to remain calm and patient, and looked across the bed at the end table closest to the door.
04:43:00 AM
Cool blue numerals began to blink, a 21st Century oracle standing before an otherwise dark cavern, enticing in it’s the promise of simplicity, which is almost always confused with desirability.
*hey! want a single question to ask a person that the answer they give will provide a sure insight into their predominant worldview? Ask: ‘How much is 2 plus 2?’
A roger and a scott will answer, simply and un-equivalently,** ‘Four’ A clark…. they will think about it. They might even ask for more information.
** yeah, a light rogerian expression
About clarkscottroger
Ugh! The hold button and music…just ugh!
I have never really understood the ‘snooze button’ approach to getting up… it strikes me as being easier to get up (whenever that might be) rather than return to partial sleep for 5 minutes.
Why do I feel like I just read part of a script of a horror movie? :-) Creative use of the prompt!
thank you, Kristi!
I feel the same way, Kristi! Im a little spooked out …. Someone will be coming for you shortly!??? Hang up!!! Dont look back!!! Dont go into the house alone!!!! Been watching too many B movies again!!!
Speaker phone is the only way to go for me. I so dislike having to wait, for what seems forever, to get an answer. Good story.
I totally agree and do the same, sitting at the computer and doing something useful and not miss the (eventual) response from whoever I’m calling.
My first thought on reading the final sentence of blue flashing numbers on the clock was “code blue”, as there seems to be the foreshadowing of physical departure woven into this seemingly innocuous story. I want to know what happens next!!
I won’t even start on what I think of those endlessly repeating phone messages, especially when they say that call volume is heavier than usual… but the wait is always just as long. Whoever invented automated answering should have been shot!!
Your question at the end of the post made me laugh. Yup, first I’d be wondering two of what, and then why the questioner was asking, and then…. Nothing is as simple as black and white in my world, even though my mind immediately registered “4”.
the blue light (in many ‘alarm clocks’) is certainly a bit un-natrual but non-ignorable nevertheless
The story this week kind of was a handful of un-related sentences that, like in a movie that I forget the title of, the disassembled pieces (of something) rejoins on its one, much to the dismay of the antagonist.
… that (the question) is one of the fun things about the Wakefield Doctrine.
All of our customer service representatives are busy assisting other customers. Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order that it was received. If one takes two drops of water plus two more drops of water, how many drops of water in all? The answer is one, of course.
yeah and who the heck asked me if I wanted to participate in a training session!?? I mean I make these kinds of calls when (and only when) I am a paying customer or client, and they compound the insult by sending someone who may or may not know how to do the job?
lol
This is a timely story, Clark–just yesterday I called my health care whatever. I was cranky as usual (and you thought Stella was so nice)–telling them to stop sending me things I’d never requested, like forms and–not one, but duplicate–lab kits to mail my stool sample! (Which I summarily tossed, not wishing to participate!) But because I’m Stella, at the end of the “chat” I was apologizing for the crankiness…Sheesh!
(imo) the most significant development to have an effect on everyday life is the concept (and use) of call centers. While one might argue it’s an inevitable coping with increasing population, it has been essential in the growth of truly massive beaurcratic institutions, a necessary facet of life.
Ugh…I really, REALLY cannot stand the idea of “staying on hold” on the phone. That is one task I will hold off on until…sometimes the issue fixes itself! :D
Case in point: property taxes were due and mortagator hadn’t paid them for us just yet. I’d gotten the bill in September. I waited, knowing they paid the county tax last year, but wasn’t sure about the city tax.
Well…November, they paid county tax, but not city tax. I was like, oh man…Ima gonna have to call. Okay…interest begins in January 2017. I’ll call in December…sometime. Haha.
A few days ago I looked at my account and THEY PAID IT! No calling necessary. I love it when that happens.
I’m so bad for putting the phone on speaker phone and then going off and doing things and just about forgetting that I had called them in the first place…kind of like what happened above. LOL
it’s interesting (not entertaining nor amusing) to listen not only to the messages that as a part of the call-holding experience, but also the efforts to manipulate the holdee there have been some hold programs that I’ve been convince are out to get people to hang up by the use of really, really awful music playing.
I also have a bad habit of responding to the automated voice, especially when I’m forced into a voice-menu type answering system. It’s fun to imagine that maybe the call is being monitored, so if I get really rude and/or funny, theres hope that someone other than myself benefit from my trying to be funny.
If i thought i was hearing what those sentences said, i’d be very afraid.
As for two plus two, i always say, it’s generally four, but sometimes twenty-two under the right circumstances.