Month: March 2010 | the Wakefield Doctrine Month: March 2010 | the Wakefield Doctrine

CSR 101

March 31, 2010 By

Attention, Company!

     Sorry. I just really miss doing that. 

     First off- Congradulations are in order; field promotion of Ms. AKH to Brevet Progenitor; and Ms. Joanne to Brevet ” Mistress of Testifying”…I’m not sure what that is exactly, and I hope it doesn’t involve the use of arcane ritual, liberal application of some Clarkian snake oil, singing in an unnatural voice, and the wearing of a French maid’s costume…( and that’s just Clark- wait till you see what you have to go through….) What’s that, Jane? Which French maid? Why?…how many French maids do you know? That many? Jane, that’s very weird, even for a literary construct… What? Who am I calling a ” literary construct”? Why, that would be you, dear…No, I will not go #*&% myself…no, we are not all literary constructs…and yes, this is probably why the other kids call you ” shallow and one-dimensional”…yes, we will certainly talk about this after class…yes, I know, it’s the writer’s faults, they’ve painted you this way, and now you’re type-cast …I know, I’ve been a bad, bad writer and I should …no, I will not wear the French maid costume! Stop that this instant! All right, everyone, back in your seats! I’m the writer, and I demand your full attention! You are all miserable, sorry excuses for literary constructs! You can all be replaced, you know! We Like People will not stand for this rampant insubordination, you baboon-ass pu….what Jane? You’ll go with Pochahontas if I’ll wear the Johnny Depp/ Caribbean pirate getup?….well I do kind of like that ” Keith Richards ” thing…me being a Roger and all…OK, tell you what…I’ll write us both in as say… 25-year old literary constructs ( yes, thanks, I know it’s quite a stretch) and we’ll talk about it right after I hand out this assignment…

     Damn, I have got to cut back on that Nyquil. If I told you guys what I thought just happened….

    OK, then. New assignment. Are any of you familiar with the films of George Clooney? Yes? Good. It seems that George has been making “CSR movies” for some time now, and is likely not even vaguely aware of it. And, gets paid A LOT. And, girls of all ages seem to melt under his steely gaze. And so on and so forth. For George, it’s all good. For the rest of us, not so much. Ah, well.

     So anyway- choosing from any one of several George movies ( I’d recommend O Brother Where Art Thou, Men Who Stare At Goats, Up in the Air),  check it against the Doctrine and look for “you guessed it.” Then write a few paragraphs labeling the main characters, and explain why George keeps making movies that always feature three main characters. ( Yes, Sherlock, those are clues all right…) And once we have a consensus, I believe we should forward the Truth of The Matter to Mr. Clooney, and rock his world. Would any of you ladies care to volunteer to draft a letter to George, informing him of such, and possibly including a few photos of yourself, purely as an introduction? Seeing as how this should change the course of his career, I’m sure he would appreciate gazing on the countenance of the messenger. All right, then. Let’s get it done, the sooner the better. The poor guy needs  to know why he’s driven to keep making the same movie over and over again. So have mercy, and do your homework.

     Hey Teacher…is that a parrot on your shoulder, or are you just glad to see me?  ( Quoting Mae West, Roger? A bit sad, don’t you think?… where’s the %*%#& Nyquil…)

 

 

 

    

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a question is the hook of a demand F. Perls

March 30, 2010 By

As promised, kind of rushed, but here is the first set of questions that will form the basis of the clarkscottroger personal diet schedule (CSRPDS)(copyright pending).  This is just the beginning, a format will be developed as we go along but, as always, do not hesitate to Comment and/suggest additional questions.  We have Downspring Joanne to thank for the compilation of these questions.  (She has been elected Mistress of Testifying by the Progenitors and DownSprings; big round of applause!) (Readers take note, plenty of opportunity for advancement here at the Doctrine!)

You hear a knock on your door at home during the day. Without looking first, you open the door and see 2 Jehovah Witnesses/Mormen folks.
Do you:
a) slam the door shut
b) invite them and hope that they do not think you keep a sloppy house
c) invite them in and make fun of them as they give their presentation

You are driving during the day and see a car off the road, obviously in an accident.
Do you:
a) immediately pull over and see who is in the car
b) continue driving and plan to call 911 if you don’t see anyone else pull over(in your rearview mirror)
c) pull over and start directing traffic

You are in a busy supermarket check out line, six people in front of you and someone cuts in line.
Do you:
a) tell them in a loud voice to get in back of line and the others in line back you up
b) you start by pointing out to (another line member) what a jerk that person is and proceed to incite the crowd
c) complain until the culprit notices and then back off.

You’re in a convenience store and ask for 2 packs of cigarettes. The cashier brings only one and when you ask for the other pack,
she gets it while saying quite rudely “you only asked for one.”
Do you:
a) insist that you asked for 2 packs
b) say you’re sorry
c) ignore the comment.

You’re in a plane with a window seat and the passenger next to you hogs the arm rest, elbowing you in the process.
Do you:
a) elbow him back
b) say excuse me or
c) pretend not to notice while you squish yourself against the window.

You’re working in a store and a mother comes in with 2 unruly boys who are noisily running all over the place
and disrupting other customers while the mother completely ignores them.
Do you:
a) tell the mother to control her kids
b) kindly but sternly tell the kids to stop running around or
c) pretend not to notice the kids

OK, still way rough and general, but it is a start.  What you will see in coming weeks will be more questions, but we will be presenting them in a more ‘interactive’ manner.  Hopefully will get one of those apps that lets you (the Reader) take the test and get the answer/score right away.
The score?  Why whether you are a clark, scott or a roger, of course!  We know what you are pretty damn quick if you would write a Comment, but the idea is to help those more Doctrine challenged (yeah, I’m talking to you rogers) We know that the clarks simply cannot resist a test and the scotts will always sniff a bright shiny object, especially if it is simple enough and they (the scott) can get others to take the test. (yum, yum).

So, I will ask our Readers, take the damn test, already!  (Hat? always with the hats…)

OK …free hat (for your damn head) for the first 5 Readers* who complete the test (must submit your answers via the Comments).  Contest ends at the end of this week.  So hurry on down.

OH Sloviansss! I know you guys are reading the Doctrine…(it’s in the little visitor thing on the right).  We are serious about an Interview Post.  Not to worry about language, we can get one of those translators, if you are concerned about language gap.  I know that Janie keeps asking when you people are going to get in touch…we can arrange for her to do the Interview.

OK that’s a wrap for now.  A little video and out.

(Hey Ronin, Mel, Jason, did my new url make the transition on your blog rolls ok?  If not let me know and I will send it on over.)

(Hey, it’s got a dog, Jimi Hendix and attractive young people…what’s not to like?)

(*of course, you Downsprings and Progenitors are not eligible!  Besides you all have (or will have) hats for your damn heads)

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say it soft and it’s almost like praying

March 28, 2010 By

(hey, be careful put that box over there…) (Did anyone see the box full of metaphors?…I don’t know I guess I would say it looked like…) (Janie…someone tell me that Janie was packed and the box clearly marked)…(No, I don’t think this blog is a spacious as the last…don’t ask me….)

Oh.  Hello.
Still in the move transition-state.  I trust you all got through the week,  it did get a little dicey for a while there, Doctrine in transition-wise so to speak.  If you checked-in at one point mid week, you would have found one of those beginner blog themes with a desperate plea to ‘come back, don’t get scared please come back’. (Save that, it will be worth something someday on the collectors market along with Howard the Duck action figures and Clifford Irving autographed copies of Me and Moe.

For those of you who did not get the Memo, the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) has moved from a WordPress free blog to what is called a ‘self-hosted’ blog.  The free blog was very nice and gave us the platform to get the Doctrine out of our heads and into the world.  It was a user friendly and a simple to operate blog platform, and did I mention it was free?  But it had  limitations, mostly regarding the kinds of ‘programs’ that we could use on the site.  These limitations were not onerous and it was a low maintenance blog.  But eventually, the need for features and tools that could help the Doctrine grow outweighed the convenience of the free blog.

So here we are.  Self hosted (we pay to be online), but cost (should be) offset by being effectively unlimited in the kinds of things we can do with the site.  The list includes more useful polls and questionnaires, features and applications that can be utilized.  All of this will take time, so while we get comfortable in our new digs, we are trying to keep the ‘look and feel’ of the blog as close to the original as possible.  Clearly the layout is different, not too different, but not the same. (Did I mention it was different?).  At some point we will start to work on the look and utility of the blog, (hey maybe a contest! which theme is the prettiest).

(hey! hey!  watch the couch there, no that is clearly marked PLATES, so it does not belong here… it belongs there) (whats that noise? coming from one of the boxes!  damn I gots a feeling you-know-who is packed up in there, shit  lets hold off a minute before we un-pack our favorite high school student, yes?)

My apologies, I just re-read the last Post (I do enjoy reading them) and realized that I promised everyone that we would start of the Case Study series with this Post.
Damn.  Not gonna happen, unfortunately.  Too much moving in, figuring out what goes where, what the new buttons do (on the ‘Dashboard’ where I am writing this from), that sort of thing.
‘Fraid that unless Roger comes through with something today, we will be talking about the move and what to expect.  Promise to get to the new stuff as soon as possible.
On that note, a shout-out to MJ, who wrote asking where the Doctrine was. I re-stated my offer to help her write a Post (she is such a roger), and maybe if we all give her a hand, let’s git her up on the stage…(slow applause)…’come on up’…grace us with some rogerian words of comfort, learning and intrigue’…

While we wait for her to make up her mind…I see Slovenia in the HOUSE!!!  Sloveniiaaannnnnnssss!
Hey, guys good to see you made the transition.  You know what I would totally love?  A Post that includes an Interview with a Slovenian.  Seriously, that would be a good thing. You can have a choice of who poses the questions, etc (look at old Posts see what we have done with Interviews.)
But, I really would like to see that.

So, got to unpack.   (Hey who packed ‘the Janitor’?  in what box?…Labeled ‘BAGGAGE FROM THE PAST’  very funny!  lets see, pull this tab, cut this tape.…)

Yes!  Mr. B  would you be so kind as to…I know it was a little confined…no, packing characters together in a box would not be…appropriate.
…Would you be so kind as to find us a video to get out of this short little Post?  Yes upbeat and old would be a good combo, will leave the choice in your capable hands.

 

So watch for changes and fun and a Questionnaire and the start of the Case Study (featuring Downspring#1) and of course much, much more from those madcap little scotts that we like to call Ms. AKH and Glenn.

 

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she said, ‘Love’?, Lord above

March 26, 2010 By

This is what we seem to have come to…interim Posts…(google wants new content!!!give google new content! NOW!!)

So wait ’til you see what we have in store for you all…the next Post (which is supposed to be this Post) will be the start of a series, a Case Study of the Wakefield Doctrine as it is applied to a work situation.
I suppose I could do the ‘set-up’ here now and then let DownSpring#1 have the whole Post for ‘exposition’. Nothing says that we can’t do two Posts back to back. Hey, this is the Wakefield Doctrine, we can do anything we want, goddamn it!

Oh, watch for a slight  change in the look of the Wakefield Doctrine by weeks end. Have gone the ‘self-hosting’ route (thanks a lot, Mel  lol) and while I am going to keep the changes to a minimum initially, you will see some look and feel differences. I have not even seen what it will look like. I did tell my consultant guy that I wanted the same: (the) Post center and the Map and other widgets in columns to the right and left.

Since we are just ‘vamping’, what the hell is going on with the time acceleration? Tell me I am the only one who  is seeing the rate of time passage/the degree of falling behind on day-to-day tasks increasing…noticeably. I really hope it is just me. I can deal with the problem of not keeping up, if this speeding up of time is a world-wide  phenomenon, then I might indulge in being worried.

Speaking of running out of time…March is Survey Questions Month! Sometime in the next week or so, look for a Post that is all about Survey Questions. The goal is to develop an online survey that will let Readers determine they type, yo.  It should consist of 10 or 20 questions, answer eac, hit Enter and find out the answer. Joanne is in charge and we are looking forward to ggreat things from her. (Joanne was recently elected Mistress of Testifying by a near unanimous vote of Progenitors and Downsprings) congratulations Joanne! (“…now you’re tryin to to trick me…” )

Okay…OKay stop this right here…! I may be a construct but OMFG at  least I am alive and young (of course cute too) but that video!  no you stop…sure you are the ‘real’ people and yes you are writing this and I will even allow that it makes for a catchy subtitle…but the video!  omg I can’t believe you old people…look at the people in the video,  those are my grandparents!  NO, it does need to be pointed out…because not all your Readers are old, so very old…I can’t understand myself, but the fact is we have some Readers under the age of geriatric.  You must control the nostalgia…facebook is full of people who are not trying to refer to cultures that are more than 1 generation dead…sorry, (not)… just my opinion…no, I realise the pressure of writing Posts…no really I am sure it is very difficult…as a matter of  fact I could!…no I am not joking..just say when…alright I will! but no ‘editorial review..’ no censorship (I heard what you did to poor Mr. Miller’s speech to the class a few weeks ago)…I think that all censorship is wrong…especially here…so what if what he said in his lecture was stupid, and only meant for shock value…don’t you think the Readers would know that he was a scott and is no more responsible for that kind of behaviour than the little puppy who poops on the rug because he has not yet been housebroken?..of course I am…so its a deal right?  full Post…any subject I want…and video and any friend i choose to invite…no I dont have any psychological twists to untangle in public…after all I am a Junior at Millard Fillmore High School  how wholesome is that?…why no,  I think the Janitor is simply a nice guy who made some bad choices…scottian women will do that to a guy…wouldn’t you like to know!  OK I better get to work…can’t wait to tell Britney…see ya.

Ok, Janie does have a point…about the old shit…so lets have some not so old shit to get us out…Don’t forget  Case Study  coming up. Will be fun and useful.

Hey Mel!  where do I stick the ad for the Rejuvo Pills that I can now sell cause I be sef-hosted?

Now for a little light  but enjoyable pop music to get out on…(13 seconds of commercial first but it should keep the MPAA at bay)

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how can it be Sunday, if theres not a new Post. there must be a new Post cause its Sunday

March 21, 2010 By

(Before we begin, a word about….nah never mind.  You wouldn’t understand.  Forget I said anything.)

But no, let me say this,  I want to get a scott to say something about scotts. Here at the Doctrine we are in a developmental phase (soon to be announced watch this space!).   Anyway, one of the challenges here at the Wakefield Doctrine is that it is axiomatic that clarks are different from scotts and rogers.  And while I am an expert at the Doctrine, I will tend to write as a clark, which means that I am not speaking to the scotts or the rogers in their respective languages.  We will solve this problem soon, but right now I have to get a Post out because it is, as the subtitle plainly says, Sunday.

So Glenn, you are reading this on a daily basis.  Get the concierge to let you sign on and make a Comment.  A long Comment.  I will incorporate it into this Post.  Just write the words, I will handle everything else.
Ms. AKH, the same thing.  You are both scotts so give us some insight into the scottian nature.  As you both can see, I have divided what was to have been the Post into Themes A and B and C.  Use them as you see fit, address them or reference them, not caring.  I am the Producer, here are your sets, props, tools call them what you will.

Theme A
Let’s talk about scotts!  That’s! right!…scotts.  The scottian element.  The here and now only action speaks louder than…what was the question?  I act therefore I am.  The id and only “give me a primal“, “give me a drive.”..what’s that spell?  Who the fuck cares…scotts don’t need no steenkin spellin…

Even though this entire Post is on the subject of scotts, we do not have to do the dry…boring…how many words can we use to describe…clarklike approach.  And scotts are not dumb…(they may be stupid at times) but they are not dumb, rather quite intelligent in a quick witted, problem-solving, shortest-path, not particularly creative way.  Smart as a whip is often how they are described.

(You know how we loves our videos here at the Doctrine; not just for entertainment but for education, illustration, demonstration and elucidation….purposes.  Our discussion of the scottian nature is especially suited to illustration (by behavior as shown in said video.)

Theme B
It helps if you are a music fan in general and a (guitar) music fan in particular, but as this video shows us the scottian nature as it is totally focused on producing a (specific) reaction in the audience it is playing to…(this can be a literal audience as with Joe here or it can be a more figurative audience say the people at a party in front of whom the scott is telling ‘just over the line offensive’ jokes or is simply being an astonishingly provocative personality.  And since I just used the word, I think provocative is probably the most appropriate adverb(adjective?) who the f*&k knows  they want to get a reaction from their environment.  I was about to say, ‘their immediate environment’ but that would be un-necessary.  The immediate is the only thing for scotts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUd3sX9mn9U

Another (musical) example of the scottian personality as seen in an entertainer.

 

Theme C
For that matter, let me state the obvious:  this Post is not being written by a scott…(although efforts are being made to bring in a scott on this) so while the information that we are presenting on the nature of scotts is totally correct, the scottian Reader has long since wandered off in search for something more satisfying to chase.
So, why are we still typing? Because this is the Wakefield Doctrine (aka the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) it is not the

So there you have it.  A (scottian) do-it-yourself  Post.  Pick a Theme and write a Comment, your Producer will turn it into a Post.  Hats? did someone say hats? If you say hats, then I say….. CONTEST!!

Here is the Contest:  Reader(s) to take one of the Themes and write a Comment (of suitable length, say 250 words) from a scottian perspective.  Do this thing and you will win a hat for your damn head* Come one, take a chance write words what harm can it do, not like anyone is gonna read the fuckin thing.  Pixie, oh Pixieblonde you are our scottian ava of choice, come on down win a hat and I will throw in the first tee shirts as soon as they are delievered. (choice: I (heart) Janie Sullivan or (arrow to the right on front) saying: I’m with him (he is such a roger)

* Glenn and Ms. AKH not eligible.

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