Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks who would try to write a Post like thisa, and scotts who would laugh and enjoy a Post like thisb and rogers who, while best equipped to write a Post like this would not put themselves into such a position without much much more to gainc)
a)
“I went to the grocery store the other day and…” or so I recall. The Wakefield Doctrine would maintain that confronted with an empty cupboard and a hungry dog, our Ms. Hubbard would have reacted in three distinctly different ways:
were Ms Hubbard a roger
and the food was not there
the dog should be made to feel bad
it would only seem fair
as scott, Ms. Hubbard would yell
where’s the food, what the hell!!
the dog would not complain, a member
of the pack loyal and true
Ms Hubbard, were she a clark
would’ve done anything for the family
eat the dog if you’re that hungry or for that
matter eat me
b)
“I went to the grocery store the other day and…” and, and like the first thing I see is this high school kid trying to push a row of maybe 23 shopping carts across the parking lot into the store and he stopped for a second to let this real old guy with one of those walker things go through the automatic doors first…anyway, I managed to get my truck like within 2 feet of the cart guy and I leaned on the horn!! The kid like jumped a foot and pushed forward on his row of carts which made the old guy practically run through the automatic doors. Ha, ha! I was still laughing as I parked, (sure it said, handicapped parking but hey! come on! the guy was already in the store! I frickin saw him!) Any way… I got the hot dogs and the Fritoes and the soda and the Swanson’s and Oreos and 3 packs of disposable razors and was back in the line in like 3 minutes and this woman behind me has the nerve to like stare at me… shit! I had 5 items or less! just ’cause I had 3 of each they were of different things. Anyway the girl doing the check was cute so when she asked if I wanted paper or plastic, I said, ‘don’t think the paper will really hold up!!’ and a guy in the other aisle kinda laughed, so I asked her, ” Hey! … er Denise! hey Denise are these the low cal razors?” She laughed but didn’t say anything. Like I said she was cute. In the parking I got a look from some woman who had to get out of her car to move my cart that I forgot in the space next to where I parked. She wasn’t cute at all! Shopping is fun”
c)
“I went to the grocery store the other day and…” it was still cloudy, but the snow stopped. Roger knew that if he expected to have any variety to his meals, he needed to be the one who did the shopping. It was such a chore, even with the app that had the layout of the supermarket and showed a path from the door in to the check-out counter, but he knew that making the list (a different app) meant that there would be no disappoint in the middle of the week, when it turned out that someone forgot the fresh scallions, which wouldn’t stop them from asking him to fix breakfast as if he could do that without the proper ingredients. After getting past some senior who was standing looking at his walker that seemed to be broken, Roger looked out over the vast interior space of the Super Market… feeling like his ancestors as they ventured onto the frozen tundra searching for the hapless baby mammoth, he found a cart and started his journey.
… Roger laughed at the aggravated look on the cashier at the next aisle, she seemed upset that someone in her line was singing to her, while trying to ride on the conveyor belt. Turning back to his checkout girl, Roger was certain there would be no aggravated looks on his aisle. The girl scanning the can of imported bamboo shoots (‘packed in mountain water’) was very attractive and she seemed to laugh at everything he said… Roger stood to read the long receipt as the surly cart guy was told to put everything in paper bags, it paid to check the printout in the store because even though his online store account would let him review his purchases at his leisure, it never hurt to be sure. Roger left the store feeling satisfied.
About clarkscottroger
Thanks Clark for linking up and your post using all three personalities with the prompt was nothing short of amazing. I have to say, I liked the letter B the best and found myself cracking up a bit reading it. Thanks again and truly awesome!! :) :)
@Janine
got a lot of blogs to hop, be sure to re-assure the participants (who may not have come in to contact with our little personality theory) that it’s ok to be a but… surprised lol
What a cool take on the prompt with all 3 personalities….really enjoyed reading this Clark! :)
@Melanie
tt (I would have enjoyed hearing that at 4am as I was writing the 3rd of the three)…last minute? me? lol
Aw. I’d never be able to blame my dog, though pretty Rogerfied I seem to be. I might be a Roger-Clark mix. Thanks for sharing these cute prompts, Clark.
@Michelle
actually you are on target… we recognise that few people are 100% one or the other types, there is a certain influence (we refer to it as a person’s secondary aspect) that modifies the way a person acts. (Notice we didn’t say that it makes the person see the world differently or or a 4th way of relating to the world) a person’s predominant form is always the source of the way that the world appears to the person. so you will experience the world as a roger would but are possessed of certain…sensiblilites as a result of having a developed clarklike aspect, so you have more flexibility and curiosity than a roger without a secondary clark…
Wow, what a way to knock it out of the park! Loved all the different directions. Outstanding. :D I would have eaten the dog. *giggle*
@Terrye
lol with an attitude like that, you probably should be wearing a Wakefield Doctrine (Official) DocTee…
I am pretty sure you get the prize for most response to the prompt- WOW!
Oops, accidentally deleted the word “creative”- most creative response makes more sense, huh?
@Stephanie
lol yes, my 5 am brain* thanks you. Now I know why you people in (the) BBg are so enthusiastic and prolific, hard to keep up, but fun
Wow, I love all the different scenarios of what could have happened before during and after that grocery store visit. Great job on your first “hop”!
@Emily
:)
Hehe, what a clever way of doing this blog hop! I love how you integrated the personality styles into this post AND you gave me an idea for the next bloppy blog hop. THANKS! :)
@Cyndi
anytime… and don’t forget ideas (15 second description of the zazzle store… if that’s the right word) for the 30 minute radio hour
Wow…the three incidents sure spark different personalities and I liked the part B, the best :)
Creative post, Clark aka Scott aka Roger
@Ruchira
thank you, it is fun see how (each) of the three personality both perceive and respond to the ‘same’ situation!
At first you got me completely stumped. So I delved deeper – and I read your full profile. Okay – admittedly, still a little stumped, but fascinated all the same! I liked B the best, especially for light reading at 10pm at night!
@Josie
ah! the Profile??! (I forgot that I have one…will have to look to that..) Perhaps some sort of intro to help the very first time Reader to get ‘the reason’ for our three little vignettes glad you enjoyed it!
What I always wondered is, why isn’t the dog out hunting? If the cupboard is bare, it has been going that way for a while… no one should be overly surprised, unless, of course, she was robbed.
@Molly
of course! I never thought of the B&E inference! (oh oh…the whole fairy tale industry might be due for a re-visit)
Well well well . . . you got C nailed. However, one thing to add – if that damn supermarket was packed out? I would keep on going and come back about midnight when all the boneheads had finally decided to go to bed. And, yes, we Rogers DO need to shop for ourselves, because, it’s extremely hard to find someone that can just KNOW what we want – we think we know what we want, but if slapped in front of us it’s either a resounding YES or WTF is that?
So, if someone shops for a Roger? It’s 50/50, unless they have been trained over a long period of time as to what pleases us Rogers. The answer? Not much. It’s never enough. We ride a high-horse and DEMAND and SCOLD and tell people how superior we are (and, we are) so, shopping for chick-peas is a nuisance, one that should be done by, say, a Clark. They just LOVE that kind of thing, you know, tallying up the bill as they go about the packed-ass store, running into people in walkers and wheelchairs and kids running amok!
That ain’t for a Roger – We go in, know what we want, buy it, and get the hell outta there as fast as possible before someone asks us to do something. And, we know we bought exactly the right item. Besides, grocery shopping really isn’t for Rogers. That’s for others to do for Rogers. Just sayin . . .
@Steve
lol
Fun post! I liked how you broke it into the three personalities. I keep forgetting which one I am – I think Roger. I had that exact nursery rhyme drawing in my nursery rhyme book when I was a kid. Loved it. But, some of the rhymes are weird and freaky. Not sure why they still teach them to kids – guess it’s that whole historical culture thing.
@Kate
“…Not sure why they still teach them to kids – guess it’s that whole historical culture thing.” unless there is a need to educate children about symptoms of the Black Plague (as some historians have alluded to)… another fun one is ‘Jack and Jill’ thought to be a disguised criticism of Charles I efforts at tax reforms… so I guess the Wakefield Doctrine’ interpretation might not be so outlandish