Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
So one day, a number of years ago, I happened to be walking along the sidewalk in a typical small New England town. It was typical in that the ‘downtown’ area was one street lined with plate glass storefronts that invited customers to learn to dance, save their money, pick up their prescriptions and have the soles of their shoes repaired. There was a large greco-romanesque library at one end of Main Street (overlooking the Park) and on the other end, (just before the Flying Horses merry-go-round), there was an ice cream parlor. The cars were required to park at an angle to the sidewalk and all the parking meters were double-headed. (5, 10 and 25 cent coins only). The day of my insight into temporary immortality, (or maybe it’s better to say suspension of aging), it was an early cloudless morning, around 10:30. As I walked down the sidewalk, (mindful of avoiding inflicting spinal damage on my Mom), I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a figure walking on the opposite side of the street. Curious who the only other person out walking down the sidewalks of Main Street might be, I turned my head a tiny little bit to increase my powers of recognition. (He was), male, with a similar color sports coat, walking in the same direction and, oddly, he was slowing down and turning his head. (Gestalts, being the incubi of the intellect that they are, quit being coy, and recognizability was restored), it was me.
To be precise, I was seeing myself reflected in the plate glass window on the opposite side of Main Street, at approximately 10:32 on a weekday morning. Naturally, I laughed out loud, although there was no one around (I’m a clark, you see, so that was totally a normal and appropriate reaction to the world that I live in).
…as I continued along the sidewalk, no longer alone, the question formed in my mind, in the split second when I recognized the figure as a reflection and, yet, did not recognize the person, ‘who was I expecting to see’?
I was expecting to see me, at the age of about 27 or 28.
We’re all aware of the concept of body image, (the) persistent standard of physical characteristics that we all maintain of ourselves. It only makes sense that we might hold a version of our appearance in our minds, not on a level of constant comparison or (conflict) with our actual appearance, but simply ‘picture of ourselfs’… the person we should see in the mirror. (the Wakefield Doctrine maintains that there are everyday concepts and ideas that are a part of our lives and the world around us that are not so ‘ objective reality’ based. Like the notion of personal reality, (aka worldviews), real as we experience them, and yet are not shared by others. Not exactly hammer-solid objective, the-apple-always-falls-to-the-ground reality, but our capacity to accept these ideas and notions opens up a whole world of understanding not available any other way.)
Back to our ‘lock-in age’.
I found people who would listen to my story without laughing or (getting mad) and it seems that we all have a lock-in age. Provided, of course, we have the imagination to sneak a peek at our semi-subconscious mind. Fortunately, having that kind of curiosity and imagination and love of new ideas is a prerequisite for understanding the Wakefield Doctrine. I’ve had no problem finding people to talk to about this idea of ‘stopping the passing of time’.
Everyone that I’ve talked to so far has been able to determine when their core-self-image (of what they look like) stopped changing, stopped ‘keeping up with the passage of time, if you will. Now, here’s where it getting difficult to describe! (lol, yeah I know…. all I had to do was pay attention in English class in High School and no of us would be struggling with this little story)….
“…we stop getting old when we reach the point when we have everything that we expected from life.”
(yeah, that’s it for now. One little clue/qualification… this ‘what we expect‘ thing? don’t limit it to what you consciously think you know about yourself…. I’m talking about what we learn about life when we were young…. 2 or 3 or 7 years old…stuff that you may never have realized that you ‘believe’ (about life). That kind of thing. We grow up thinking we know what life is about and we grow up believing what life is about…)
* un-attached Asterix there is a Special Case, allowable when there is massive life trauma (physical, emotional, whatever)…that can be the trigger point of a lock-in.
About clarkscottroger
I still don’t know what life is about. I’m still trying to learn and figure it out and I think that is what keeps me from being staid and old. I have what I expect, but I want more depth.
I would agree (with the thing about not thinking everything is known)…but the question is still….(when it comes to lock-in age), who (what age Val) do you expect to see in the mirror?
Definitely a me without so many damn wrinkles.
sure… most of would agree. but for most of the people I talk to, while it is a time of comparative youth it is not way young. I would hazard to guess that your age is somewhere in the mid-thirties. (Family is a common benchmark found, where a family is formed*)
I haven’t yet found a deliberate process or method to uncover this lock-in age… for now it’s just a ‘remembering backwards’ process that you try going back to where you begin to have difficulty recognizing or identifying with yourself…
* not necessarily created, as in the beginning but somewhere in time where you identified with having your own family
Hmm, not sure about this one. On the one hand, I’ve always felt like an old soul. On the other, I can identify several experiences as an adult that have clearly impacted my understanding. Maybe I feel like I’ve always had the framework, but the older I get, the more the structure fleshes out. Hope that makes sense.
… this …place where the part of us that stops aging, it isn’t connected to our minds, at least not the part of the mind that we can be aware of, more of a body memory, preconscious.
… it does, in a way.
I think Im 36. I have a fabulous story about my dad on his death bed and this concept.
https://youtu.be/QUn2BNydxIY
The mid thirties is, seemingly a age range that lock-in seems to occur…
….well, what happened? (Unless, of course, the story is more of a post-type of story)
My dad was lucid until about 5 seconds before his death and we pretty much knew he would be dying that day as he had very little strength left. He was 80 when he died. I was sitting with him and talking to him and asked ” Hey Dad, you know how you are a certain chronological age, but a different age in your head? How old are you in your head?” What a stupid question to ask a dying man and I regretted it as soon as I asked it… but I didn’t have to cuz he said,
“y’know I think I’m 46.” Which is an amazing answer considering his age and state of health and that he died about three hours later.
yow…. so we would ask… (no, not ‘had he done everything he meant to set out to do in life)… was he at the point where everything life was represented (to him from infancy on) to entail, had he experienced that? I was about to say, that is such a personal measure as to be un-knowable… but then I realized, no, it’s never only personal… it’s about what the world/Life is (for a person).
(this is more in your area of expertise), but our world, our Life is shaped and defined on a level within ourselves that is do out of reach (normally), I don’t want to say ‘the un or sub conscious’ because that still implies a part of the organization of our selves within. I guess I’m referring to expectations that we have acquired so early (in our lives) that we’ve forgotten that they are things we were told and when we encounter them, they are simply, ‘the ways things are’
ya know?
He didn’t want to leave because of worry about my mother without him…but he actually said he was quite satisfied with his life…he just hated spending the end of it so debilitated. I was kind of surprised by 46….he was kind of an ass at 46….he mellowed nicely with age.
Aha…thank you Clark for a more in depth discussion of this topic. It clarifies a few things for me about my own lock in age.
I am 11 inside and am surprised when I find out I’m not (usually by hurting myself). Then I’m shopping and have basically the same experience you had on Main Street: I see some hideous old woman who is shopping right across from me, then realize THAT’S ME IN A MIRROR. Oh, the horror!
amazing how that happens… or, even worse! you’re like driving along and you say look at that old person (and when you get closer you recognize them and they’re younger! (at least on the calendar))