“this from another part of my life and today I remember much of that time… a time you know you will never get back… what good is it to feel this way?”

October 9, 2010 By 12 Comments

Okay!  Welcome? to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). Today we may have a guest writer in the form of some odd corner of the mind. But do not worry!  ( …Preocupación? Miguel por qué hace ssay que no se preocupe … y así es que habla portugués?…). As Regular Readers know, sometimes these Posts lurch off on a decidedly eccentric track, but (almost) always come back on track. And the track is….let’s all say it together…is the Wakefield Doctrine! (can he use the word ‘track’ more than that? come on! get this thing on track).
The Doctrine that holds the answer to your questions and questions the answers you hold true…
The Doctrine will let you know more about the people close to you than you really should know….
While ‘mystery’ is sometimes referred to as the “vinaigrette of the relationship salad”, the Wakefield Doctrine is…the extra virgin…(no…) it’s the balsamic….nah it’s the after dinner sorbet?… ( …Miss Sullivan? you have any idea what the ‘mystery’ of relationships is…really?…)  Rose Soda (Water) and Lavendar Drink ?  ( …Popular in Europe?…Middle Ages….I see. And you have the recipe?… no, no of course you do!  Thank you for sharing that with us… )

Rose Soda / Lavender Drink

Adapted from _The ‘Libre de DiversisMedicinis’ in the Thornton Manuscript (MS. Lincoln Cathedral, A.5.2)_. Edited by Margaret Sinclair Ogden. Published for the Early English Text Society by Humphrey Milford, Oxford University Press. Amen House, E.C. 4. England. 1938. Text circa early 1400 CE.

 1 part rose/lavender petals

2 parts water

2 parts sugar/honey

 Soak a number of  petals in a pitcher of water holding twice as much water as petals for one night. Press, but not squeeze, the water from the petals and reuse them as needed. Mix into the water enough honey or sugar as to taste, and serve cold
(courtesy of  HL Rory McGowen)

Alright, alright I seem to have cleared my head… Sorry for the tangent, actually I am not sorry… for the tangent, that is. But for the curious Reader,  following is the video that for whatever reason,  prompted the initial “mood” of this here Post here.

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Now the odd/interesting thing about this music video is that it is not the style of music I was a fan of,  back in the day, this song would have been a little too, greaser/old  kind of music. What triggered my reaction was/were the Comments that followed the song (on the youtube), they were, somehow oddly evocative. No doubt I encountered this (particular version of the) song at some point in life and it hooked to some emotional event and so on and so forth…( sorry, lost interest in my own train of thought). Funny about that.

What I had originally intended for the Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day was: the Three (3) types of jobs.  ( ...Puestos de trabajo? Sin embargo, somos estudiantes y María no consiguió una visa, que nos enviará a todos a Alaska … aiiyee de San Telmo de la cocina! … )

Yes, yes there are! Three jobs. In the world. Every damn job/occupation/avocation/inspiration/calling/profession/obsession/position/post/that’s-my-name-on-the-door/title, what you do for money… in one of the three categories. Really.
No, I am not making this up.  Actually, if the Progenitor roger is in the audience, I would call on him to Comment, as he was there and gets at least co-creator credits for the Three Jobs concept. Hey!! roger, yo…get your increasingly stubby fingers off the keyboard…the Great American Novel can wait a few minutes…Treasure Rd, dude!  Cast your mind back.

The Wakefield Doctrine, Three (3) Jobs: Scientist, Salesman and Machine Operator.  Am thinking Contest here…yeah!  Free Hat (for your damn head) for anyone* who can correctly link the type (clark, scott or roger) with the job ( scientist, salesman or machine operator).
Not as easy as it looks. And we will need some justification of the choice you submit. So,  come on down!

Mr. B! After you find the Exchange Students ( I think they are under the bleachers, back by the fire alarm panel) and get them settled down, take us out something upbeat, if you don’t mind!

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LOL…ok…scott!! come back!! lol…Hey, Bonus Contest!!  Of these two lovely ladies one is a clark ( yeah, no shit) but the other is not!  which is which, yo.

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Out, everyone out!

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* Sorry Progenitors and DownSprings are not eligible to participate.

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ruun! Mel ruuun!!!

September 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers).

Official Texas State Dinosaur

Two items on the agenda today.  (…orden del día? aiiee jeemmie nos dijo que no habría clase de hoy, sólo un estudio en la sala!!!) The first is to remind everyone that (Friend of the Doctrine) Mel will be running his little marathon race this coming Saturday. While not everyone will be able to attend the race, being held in “Michigan”, I want all Readers to go to his excellent blog Spatula in the Wilderness and wish him luck. Mel will be wearing a Wakefield Doctrine hat (on his damn head) and promises us muchas photos as he be navigatin the treacherous and challenging race course.   (From what I understand, the race is being held in Holland, “Michigan”,  a small town in which the primary industry appears to be wedding blog photos). I am attaching a link to the race organizers:  Park2Park 1/2 Marathon & 5K  . If any of our rogerian Readers feel the need or desire to go there and run, have at it. Ha ha.*

(*the joke, for you new Readers, is the idea of a roger admitting to a “new” or suggested need to do something. As we all know, rogers express all drives and emotions and needs and such in the context of the herd and most importantly, they express these emotions as fact something that has always existed. By definition, rogers do not do anything that is new. This is because within the ‘world of the rogers‘, everything is pretty much perfect. They do what they want to do, like what they have always liked and know all that is worth knowing. This view point is the result of the rogerian perception of the world as being  a quantifiable place. The notion that something genuinely new is good and/desirable is total anathema to the roger, best expressed:  ‘hey if I don’t like it, it’s because that thing is un-likeable, everyone knows that’!)
(…aiieee No entiendo la pregunta!… )

While this aspect of the rogerian nature could certainly serve as the basis of a Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day, we are quite sincere in our wishing Mel good luck and we really would love it if he could run (at least partially) the race in wooden running shoes. Which I picture as those old Dutch shoes, rounded in the front style… only carved more.

The other item on the agenda today is Texas.
Sorry folks, the ‘ol WD brand is on your Official State Dinosaur (Brachiosaur sauropod) ass! I claim, by totally recognised, official, capo a capo Right of Hat*, the entire state of Texas. yo.
(To commemorate this rather momentous occasion I will produce photos showing the aforementioned hat (and supporting damn head) clearly in front of building in Dealey Park, Dallas Texas.)

                                        

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Treaty of Tordesillas, and a side of Fries?, damn thats good eatin!

September 12, 2010 By 3 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). Here you can find: 

  1. fun
  2. constructive and useful insights
  3. information that will help you change your life for the better
  4. a secret club that has it very own branded line of clothing
  5. a system of personality that will allow you and your friend to feel totally superior to, like, everyone else
  6. the answer to your worst nightmare
  7. the 411 on Pope Alexander VI
  8. fun
  9. did we mention that Pope Alexander VI was really a Borgia? (and such a roger!)
  10. …and fun

 So, what’s with the Pope and his Treaty of Torteas? (you mean the Borgias? the cool, scheme-to-takeover-the-world, even though at that time the world was about the size of “Michigan’; family of amped-up rogers?) Yes, we mean that Pope and that Treaty. The reason we need to bring in the papacy on this is that we are starting to get people sending in photos of the Wakefield Doctrine hat (on assorted damn heads). This is a good thing, and if we believe in anything, we believe in taking what is ours. Go back a couple of days in the Posts, you will see that we (have decided) that the Wakefield Doctrine is claiming rights to the whole world.  (You rogers out there?, sitting there smoking a pipe or crocheting the pictorial history of your family into the 100 square yard quilt that you plan to bring to the next family reunion, to you rogers we say, “yeah, well we have a Pope backing our move! A Pope who is not only in the history books, but was the head of a global religion, if that were not enough credentials for you people, this Pope’s real last name was Borgia“.  (boo ya!)  But don’t believe me, here is a reference from Wikipedia that is the basis of our claim:

 

The first conquests were made by the Spanish and the Portuguese. In the 1494 Treaty of Tordesillas, ratified by the Pope, these two kingdoms divided the entire non-European world between themselves, with a line drawn through South America. Based on this Treaty, and the claims by Spanish explorer Vasco Núñez de Balboa to all lands touching the Pacific Ocean.(…think of Pope Alexander VI here as the Ray Kroc of the ’land grant’ biz)

So to get all simplified and scottian about this thing, just send us a photo of you and your Wakefield Doctrine hat (on your damn head) in front of a recognizable landmark, geographical feature, local shopping mall, whatever, and we will give you ownership of that there place there (in your photo). 

Mel! dude! this “Michigan”? all yours buddy… Joanne? District of Columbia? yours if you want it!  Jason? the West Coast has not, I repeat, not been claimed yet! Yours for a photo…Ronin! send us the photo and “ole Man River” he be yours, eh? And from the looks of the photos leading this Post, our own DS#1 is down in FLA sayin, ” You want at that  Fountain of Youth, binyons? ya gotta talk to me!”  (Hey, anyone looking to stock up on elderly Canadians…dial DS1-555-1212.)
Come on Progenitors, DownSprings and/or Readers, is there a part of the world, that you been hankerin for?  Maybe as small as your own neighborhood or perhaps something in a medium-sized continent. The Wakefield Doctrine can make it yours by Right of Hat.

Hey, you don’t have to spell your name de Gama or Cortez to get in on this sweet deal! Send us a photo of your hat and whatever is behind it is yours.*

Let’s get this thing goin!

Mr. B?

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(Cortez, yo think you missed some… hey if the level of cultural strength is evidenced by this songs’ lyrics, how hard can it be to claim your territory by Right of Hat?)

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*indigenous peoples, chattel, trademarks and other rights may be subject to some….negotiations…the Wakefield Doctrine guarantees all rights to those people, places and things possessing of and by virtue of common law interpretation as being clarklike, scottian and/or rogerian.  Hey, all Cortez had was a letter from the Pope in a language the locals couldn’t read…and a bunch of guys on horses with coffee grinders on their damn heads!

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Class? it’s Saturday!! no frickin way…what, did Nixon get elected*?

September 11, 2010 By 4 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). Aka the place you can come to:

  • read about yourself and all your friends and family
  • learn about the three personality types that account for everyone you know!
  • learn about yourself, why your best friend acts one way with some people and totally different with others
  • laugh as you read about the ways that you can recognise the other two personality types
  • say (nearly outloud) AHA! that’s why she seems like a stranger when so and so comes around
  • cringe as you see how your own type can act (and not realise how they look)
  • have fun with your best friend/partner/spouse as you accept the fact that all three types share all traits
  • simply discover the Doctrine and read and learn and laugh and cry and…..buy a hat (for your damn head)

Before we get into the Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day, a note about our subtitles. We used to use a lot of odd punctuation and stuff so that it read more like a subtitle from the old days, like a Charles Dickens novel…SHIVERING HEIGHTS (or ‘how Pip discovers girls and Miss Haversham discovers Pip’) or something like that. But we have been advised by the Wakefield Doctrine Mistress of SEO,  Miz Becca to lose the elipseseses, ’cause the google be hatin it. We have total confidence in our Miz Becca and have ceased and desisteded on the funny punctuation. Unfortunately, it makes our jokey subtitle a little vague(r). Today’s case in point: * the juxtapositionof  ’class on a Saturday’ and Richard M Nixon is a reference to presidential race in 1960, sort of. (Kennedy versus Nixon!!! The battle of the Century…come see the Cow-licked Catholic go nose to nose with the Battlin Quaker!! mafia money takes on white-bread paranoia…battle royale!!! Winner gets to send wife on an all expense-paid cruise of the Greek Isles courtesy of Onassis Tours)

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that, as kids in grade school at the time, our teachers tried to convince us kids that we should get out parents to vote the ‘right’ way. Whatever the hell they thought that meant. In my case, as a product of catholic schools (two or three Posts on that alone), it meant I had to know why Nixon should not get elected. The answer? Because he would have changed the laws and made us go to school on Saturdays! 

Sorry, off track there. Lesson of the Day? ( …why thank you! Miguel? is it? one of our autonomous exchange students?  Very good….That will be enough of that Jimmy! I think you should try to be more like Miguel and less like those rapper musicians and maybe you will get accepted to something a little more prestigous than our local Community College of River Isle…)

Today’s Lesson is courtsey of Ms. AKH and her new little friend CY. (Ms. AKH writes):

…”just got  a message from my friend CY. said she’s still reading and is
beginning to understand much more, but is still a little bit shy about
commenting. I’m sure with a little bit of gentle prodding we’ll hear
from her. She wanted to know whether or not being shy was part of being
a clark!”

Excellent question! And quite germane (…ger–main, Jimmie…I said ger–main…now you have the exchange students all nervous…please stop that and try and get along…)

Let’s start with a quick reference to the Page in the Doctrine devoted to clarks, to make things easiest I will give you a link. Go and read and then come back, the link is here. (And to be complete and sure of this, go here and take a look at the photos of actual clarks). Seeing how you are all clicking out of the Post on these field trips, when you are done with the clark Page,  go over to Jason’s site and leave a Comment, tell him we miss the Quotes of the Week and we  are waiting for the photo of his hat (on his damn head) go here.

Done reading? scott! go back and finish reading…ok, everyone on the same Page?

Before we start let’s all thank CY and Ms AKH for providing us with a starting point. (insert applause noise here) Anyway they are both right!

It is a basic premise here at the Doctrine that it is the individual who decides which of the three they are. Most of us (Progenitors and DownSprings) know the Doctrine well-enough to call it right each time, but we leave it to each of us to decide. This not only relieves the ‘pressure to understand’ but it inevitably validates the Wakefield Doctrine. A roger can call themselves a roger all day long, but eventually they will do something rogerian…a clark can work themselves up and get all aggressive, but sooner or later they will feel their heads swell up and their faces fall and realise that they just don’t have the stomach for still bleeding, freshly-killed roger…and scotts…for some unknown reason, in this culture at any rate, the female scotts mis-intreprete the whole predator-totally-in-the-here-and-now, hyper sexual characteristics and a lot of them get all self-conscious about it…then they get hungry… scotts tend to find their home the quickest of the three.

There! I hope this explains the Wakefield Doctrine to all to the new Readers. CY?, we are all confident that you will be an appreciated addition to the Wakefield Doctrine blog. We look forward to any Comments you choose to make and as we say around the Teachers’ Lounge,  “Hurry the fuck up!”

“Museek?” (…Why yes Mr Miguel it is time for that…) 

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(that was for CY…for AKH we have:)

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Myers Briggs and the Four Temperaments

August 8, 2010 By 3 Comments

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers).

Was not planning to file/write/submit/put-the-damn-thing-out-there a Post today. As our Readers recall, we are in a period of transition. But habits are difficult to break, (btw the Wakefield Doctrine addresses that issue and offers methods that are more effective than anything you have encountered, but that’s not important now), in any event, I was out surfing, looking to see how the other 99% live and write, when I came upon a website listed simply as: Myer Briggs and the Four Temperaments.
(If you do not have an instant mental image of psychiatrists in matching blue tuxudos, you are in the wrong place.)

Damn.

The talk around the Doctrine is, of course, centered on whether or not we succeed in the 90 Day Challenge. That and whether Cynthia steps up and requests a hat (for her damn head). Speaking of heads (damn) and hats (supported by same), Ronin should have received his own Wakefield Doctrine hat (for his own damn head) by now, we are looking forward to seeing his photos. Arguably the hardest working blogger in the ‘sphere, Ronin manages to combine the “don’t-engage-in-eye-contact-and-we-might-get-by-him-without-a-complete-diatribe” of the old fashioned street corner preacher with a genuine, “screw-the-fancy-lingo,-I-just-want-to-do-something-good-for-people,-even-total-strangers” kind of good nature that is not so common in today’s culture. You should go read his blog, A Day in the Life of a Rneaos Renalaceance, Reahiina…the Ronin blog 

Speaking of blogs, we might be trying  our hand at more topical subjects  in the coming days. In the context of the Doctrine naturally, but it seems like the right time to try something a little different. Readers know that this blog is so a work-in-progress, serving both as a platform for “analyzin and dramatizin” the Wakefield Doctrine and at the same time providing the “proof of validity” of what we are presenting, Doctrine-wise. Sort of like the Wonder Years, but funny. You know, “hey everyone I have this really neat thing we can do for fun, but it will also help you improve yourself, lose weight, ditch that deadbeat boyfriend and provide you with a fulfilling life“,  just like every other non-Twighlight-centric blog.

Plus we have the Spatula keepin us from falling asleep at the keyboard. Semi role-model, power of example and mentor(without being informed of such), Mel is writing the kind of topical material that we really need to learn to do…looks simple enough…find a news item, a celebrity home video or nostalgia-inducing memory and “BAM” (to reference a figure in Mel’s professional world), good Post. But the real secret seems to be coming up with ‘cellent titles. Mel’s last Post had me sitting back and saying …”damn!! why the hell didn’t I think of that!” ( actually that is not quite what I said, but  being  in the FINAL 90, we are trying to stay as mainstream as possible). I won’t tell you what the title in question is, you should just go there and read the thing at…the Spatula.

You do know there is a real Wakefield, don’t you? And it is driven through on Saturday nights on a fairly frequent basis. During these drives much of the work that supports the writing of this blog takes place. Yours truely and DownSpring glenn are the Driver and Passenger. If anyone out there (among Readers) would like to join us, let me know. It would be fun. (Sort of like sleeping with Martha Washington, if she were still alive…and if she liked you…and if she, you know…was open-minded…on both sides of the fence too, of course…)

Anyway, there is room in the car (being made famous in the still-being-written-one-reluctant-word-at-a-time screenplay), so come on down. Hell, if we get enough people, we can rent a limo or a bus  and bring you along when we ‘go to Wakefield’. Would be fun.

This FINAL 90? Long story. Bring it up ’cause it seems that the Doctrine is not getting linked properly to the Facebook page (of the Wakefield Doctrine). Will make every effort to to remedy that. Speaking of  issues,  the roger’s little blog is still working on finding itself in the digital wilderness …when you are done writing a Comment here ( yeah, right lol) get your own damn self over to the Recession Session and try to figure out what is going on there…decent stuff.

 I need to stop and find the song that has been running through my head since I bumped into today’s sub-title this morning…”dah dah …and I’ll never be the same..lah lah” or something.

…end of the month not long off and a certain school house is starting to show signs of life…Janie and Britney and the ghang are due back real soon, they will surely have a lot of stories of  summer vacations to tell…and it seems that the Slovenians have decided not to return to Mill Fill this year!  We will miss them, but we have an application from some exchange students from a place called, ‘ the Autonomous Region of Mardrid’ (“the fighting Bull Fighters”…  motto: “we tip our monteras to no one”) Now I know why I saw the Rosetta Stone package in Mr. B’s janitorial closet…he must be brushing up, ¿no?

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Hey, for those you say clarks take things too seriously…

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serious this, you scottian/rogerian head-in-the-sand-barely-rising-to-a-level appropriate to  a “What Color are Your Dreams…” blog …not something as totally insightful and Challenging as this here Wakefield Doctrine blog here…

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