Turn that Frown Upside Down! Humor and the 3 Personality Types of the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers).

Added Content Alert! Added Content Alert!!
……….”Rinji news o moshiagemasu! Rinji news o moshiagemasu!”…………

(of course, the real questions is: ‘will those referrer guys let us send this Post up, just ’cause we added another vid clip?  damn I hope so…well, wish us luck!  come on…reddit!!)

No, everything is not a joke, but the three personality types of the Wakefield Doctrine will express and/or appreciate humor in three distinctly different ways. 

clarks:  preferred joke type is the shaggy dog story, example:

Two lions are sitting in a clearing in the deepest, darkest part of Africa. They are both sitting on the carcass of a freshly killed gazelle, their jaws are dripping with blood, from the dense underbrush comes the sounds of hyenas darting  into the clearing, only to see the two ferocious lions and, with screams of frustration, disappear into the densely tangled vegetation surrounding the area. After an hour gorging on the flesh of their recent kill, one lion turns to the other and says, “No matter what I do, I can’t get it out of my head that today is not Friday’.

scotts: what can we say, they love the suffering of others, example:

Guy takes his wife to ER. The doctor comes out and tells him..”Your wife is very severely injured. She is paralyzed from the waist down—and it is permanent. For the rest of her life, you will have to bathe her, feed her, toilet her and care for her.”The guy starts to cry..”My poor, poor wife. Oh No!”

The doctor says, “I’m just fuckin’ with ya. She’s dead.”

rogers: you know friendly fellas, like them guys on the Blue Collar Comedy show.  (Ron White and Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy). That is not to say that rogers are not funny! They are! Jim Gaffigan and others are good examples of rogerian comedians. Following is a clip from our new favorite.

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Hey!  Added Clip! If you read this here Post here yesterday, this is new (albeitly borrowed (thanks Dan!) Content)

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Alright, everyone! back in your seats! This is not a free period! We are here to learn about the difference between clarks, scotts and rogers from the perspective of what they find funny.

  • clarks:  living life mostly on an intellectual plane, they naturally find the silly, non-sensical jokes funniest
  • rogers:  like jokes that rely on the listener identifying with the comedian, even when (the comedian) is making fun of them
  • clarks: like the humor of the absurd mostly because they have very little vested in the notion of being part of real, normal life (as rogers do)
  • scotts:  real simple pain, embarrassment, humiliation of the object of the joke = funny
  • rogers: jokes serve as lessons, instruction to other as to how to live life, the sample video contains a number of references to segments of society that Dan does not agree with, thereby the humor
  • scott: the most concise example of the scottian sense of humor is the banana peel, (i.e. man falls down at minimum embarrassed, at maximum severely injured, now that’s comedy!)

As with everything else about the Wakefield Doctrine, the above characterizations refer to tendency, the predominance of a quality. This  is clearly seen when you reflect upong your own response to what is referred to as ‘gallows humor’…’black comedy’…’dead babies jokes’…that most of us laugh when we hear these kinds of jokes, is not the issue; how we react to our own laughter (at this type of humor) can be quite illuminating. We laugh and then feel embarrassed that we laughed, this in and of itself is an irrefutable indication the scottian component  of our personality, even if we are actually a clark or a roger. Do not forget, The Doctrine maintains that we are mostly one of the three personality types, the other two elements form the background, the context of our total persona. The difference between what we laugh at and what we think is funny is proof of this. …and we have not even begun to touch on what we can learn about the personality of the person telling the joke! (hint: outrageous, off-color, far-side of inappropriate is your scott; bungled, mangled punchlines indicates your clarklike joke teller and rogers? funny, reassuring ‘and-the-morale-of-our-story’!)

Pretty simple, isn’t it?

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…things change…

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Hey, did you hear? FOTD Mel (Spatula in the Wilderness) is hangin up his blogational ‘whites’1.  (Damn!)

In any event, Friend of the Doctrine, mentor, ‘first-blogwriter-I-know-personally-to-get-material-banned-from-facebook’, former hospital chef, Mel announced in a Post at the Spatula that he is hangin up the Ladle-of-Literature, you know, the Colander of Characters, the Flour Sifter of Florid Prose, the…. ( …stop, not another keystroke…stop! ) .

In any event, Mel has experienced that ultimate nightmare of anyone who acquires an new interest, a hobby, an avocation. How many of us have come upon a talent, a gift within ourselves and realised, perhaps late in life, how much pleasure we create for ourselves and those around us? We experience trepidation as we find a joy in the hard work of learning and practicing new skills, the better to express our new talent. The world changes, our lives expand, we become more, not better and not worse, not even different. We become more of what we are as people.  Be it music or art or even writing a blog, we laugh when people ask, ‘how can you spend so much time: practicing scales/ writing and re-writing those Posts/ drawing and sketching, so few people ever hear/read/ see them’.
We laugh because they are right and we laugh because we remember a time when these same efforts, these same exercises, the same frustrations that are a part of our new interest ( music or art or writing a blog) were work, to be dreaded, not looked forward to after a long day at the money-paying job.
How many of us sat through grade school music class, high school composition class, college art appreciation class and couldn’t wait until it was over? Funny about how work can turn into (a) pleasure of the most sublime nature. And this ‘ultimate nightmare’ of those of us who discover a talent, an avocation? While this nightmare is there for all of us, it is perhaps only the clarks among us who can actually see the nightmare, aka Changing Life Priorities. This nightmare is not an evil thing, it is not even a bad thing, but to the child (or the clark in us) it is the most awful of the nightmare that we  encounter in life. We call it a nightmare because it represents the fact of life that things change
How innocuous a pair of words…how totally harmless, …things change… As a junior high school student my parents got me a piano teacher because I had an interest in music and as a clark, I applied all of my energy to lessons because that would make everyone be proud of me. I had some talent, not a lot but some so there was early progress in my learning to play and because I was a clark, I asked the question of myself, ” I really like this, what happens if I lose interest in playing piano?”  …things change… who among us has not heard those two words come from a person who was part of the framework of a life,  ‘(I’m sorry but)…things change.”

But that is what makes a clark a clark…the capacity to see the nightmares that will consume all of us at one point or another in life, whether we are aware of it or not, whether it affects our lives in ways that we can feel (or not). scotts? they pretty much feel the advancing storm and dig a burrow and wait it out, never wasting a moment to consider the rightness or wrongness of the thing. rogers? they can hear it coming down the walkway at night, but they will close their eyes and tell themselves tales of old when things were simpler and when they open their eyes, things are changed to the way they have always been.

So, go read the Spatula while it is still up and write something to Mel.

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1)  The traditional chef’s uniform (or chef’s whites) includes a toque (traditional hat), white double-breasted jacket, and checked pants. It is a common uniform in the Western world. The double breasted jacket can be reversed to hide stains. Its thick cotton cloth protects from the heat of stove and oven and protects from splattering of boiling liquids. Traditionally knotted cloth buttons were used because they could stand up to the frequent washing and survive contact with hot items without melting. Typically, men button to the right while women button to the left. The black and white checked pattern frequent on trousers serves to camouflage minor stains. The white color of other clothing articles is intended to signify cleanliness and are often worn by highly visible head chefs. Aprons are used to shield the rest of the wearer’s garments from food splatters and stains. The toque is a chef’s hat that dates back to the 16th century when hats were common in many trades. Different heights of hats sometimes indicate rank within a kitchen. The 100 folds of the toque are said to represent the many different ways a chef knows to cook an egg. Some modern chefs have put their own distinct spin on the traditional uniform utilizing colors, patterns and design changes. Chefs may express their personal style by wearing a decorated chef’s coat, some of which have food inspired prints. In more traditional restaurants, however, especially traditional French restaurants, the white chef’s coat is standard and considered part of a traditional uniform and as a practical chef’s garment.

History

Chefs clothing remains a standard in the food industry. The tradition dates back to the mid-19th century. Marie-Antoine Careme, a popular French chef, is credited with developing the current chef’s uniform. The tall hats had already been introduced, but Careme wanted to create a specific uniform to honor the chef. White was chosen for the chef’s coat to signify cleanliness. Later, the French Master Chef Georges Auguste Escoffier encouraged his kitchen staff to wear suits outside of work to signify professionalism of chefs. Escoffier brought the traditional chef’s coat to London, managing the restaurants at the Savoy Hotel and then at the Carlton Hotel  (courtesy of our friends at Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chef’s_uniform)

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New Study shows that 89% of Americans favor euthanasia if “they are really, really old or make a lot of hooting noises during the day”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

So what is the Wakefield Doctrine’s position on euthanasia?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxkeu

Alright, alright! Stop the clamoring and vague threats, the Wakefield Doctrine does not have an Official, Comprehensive position on the matter of euthanasia, what part of  “the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers” did not convey the idea that we are talking about three distinct personality types and therefore three different views on any given subject.

 Since you are here, we might as well take a moment and present the three views on aging:

  clarks  scotts rogers 
       
What do you think of Old People They are interesting-Have lots to share Eww Well, they seem to like to sit for long periods of Time listening to me
What will you be like as an Old Person? …err see me now?That, with less hair Old? Over my dead body Well, I think that I will enjoy being taken care in one of those homes
Should Old People be treated Special? Sure, why not? Yeah, lets make them do tricks for us on TV …as long as it does not detract from the attention the nurses pay to me
Euthanasia? Sure, if they want to Only if it is a game show…’Last Senior Standing’ or something Sure, but do it at night when no one will complain about the hooting

 

So, there is no real consensus on what to do with people when they get old and annoying (or maybe just annoying). But the Doctrine will take the position that old people will show the characteristics of their individual types very clearly.

  • clarks will age the least, ’cause they have been old from the start
  • scotts will appear to slow down the least, until they fall over dead
  • rogers will get even crankier, even though most laws of physics say that is not even possible
  • clarks who by definition have missed the whole point of Life, will get increasingly active as they age
  • scotts will not notice the physical effects of aging when it starts, the psychological effects they have never noticed
  • rogers will sit more, but they will be the most compliant guests in the home, until they stop getting visitors

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two nuns, a rabbi and a Mormon are in a lifeboat in a terrible storm

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Lots to cover, not much time.

Here at the Doctrine, AKH is on the prowl again! New Post from her in the ‘Hey! a scott is talking!‘  (the column right below this and slightly to the right).  As always, she v on the mark and very direct, as is characteristic of her kind. (ed. note: When she says you better write or call in, my advice is ‘better just do what she says’…word to the wise, I’m the frickin progenitor and all I get is a 3 second head start ). In any event, our Ms. AKH is out working the hustings  taking the Doctrine on the digital road, yo.

Oh, yeah, before I forget!  Tomorrow’s Saturday Night Drive?  Y’all in for a treat should you happen to dial: 218-339-0422  (then) enter: 512103#  ’cause none other than Progenitor roger be in da house. Due to my arrangements with certain people who insisted that Salt Lake City was the place to be in early March (Gooo! Fightin’ Mormons!) I will not be ‘on air’ as they used to say in the radio business. Fortunately, the roger stepped up and said, ‘oh man! really? I suppose but you better make it up to me’.

The photo? That is all I have with me at the moment to document my drive to the Bonneville Salt Flats to claim “by right of hat“. Just so no one is surprised and gets all, “oh man I was gonna claim Salt Lake City, they gots the Tabernacles and singers and pretty good skiing fairly nearby’. Well too bad, too sad. I will be the one with the hat in front of the landmark, which if you are a Reader of this blog, you will realise the City she is mine.! Now, if any rogers out there want to trade me, I might consider. If the truth be told, this whole State (of Utah) pretty as it is,…totally rogerian! Where the hell do I begin. Founder Joseph Smith seems like Roger Williams but with a slight case of ronco-itis. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like religions and even some rogers but a whole State? I should be impressed…actually lets make that our Wakefield Doctrine Lesson of the Day!

Religions according to the Doctrine:

  • Roman Catholicism: scottian ( predator-friendly violence-prone nuns, )
  • Protestant Denominations: rogerian  (they all look the same from here but who doubts they are all rogers)
  • Jehovah Witnesseses: rogerian
  • Buddhism (etc): clark ( ya think?)
  • Rastafarian: scotts (with cool hair)
  • Church of Scientology: rogerian (but extra points for extensive marketing)

Well, that wraps up our little Post. Will be back in town this weekend and should have something a little more coherent to add to the treasure trove that this thing of ours has become.

Don’t forget!! Call the roger

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6cied http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfcn5g

1)  A husting (called a stump in the United States) originally referred to a physical platform from which representatives presented their views or cast votes before a parliamentary or other election body. By metonymy, the term may now refer to any event, such as debates or speeches, during an election campaign where one or more of the representative candidates are present.  Hey, don’t act shocked at the arcanity…the ‘left field’ for the sake of the view…I’m a frickin clark! You wouldn’t want anything less. 

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March is Women’s History Month! (…no, wait… ) WTF!?!

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers ).

Dinners ready, honey!

No, no let me get that door for you!

Presidential Proclamation–Women’s History Month, 2011

WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH, 2011

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION ( if I can get a word in edgewise )

During Women’s History Month, we reflect on the extraordinary accomplishments of women and honor their role ( and rolls…crescent rolls  mmmm! ) in shaping the course of our Nation’s history.  Today, women have reached heights their mothers and grandmothers might only have imagined.  Women now comprise nearly half of our workforce ( ...and annoyed the hell out of the other half  ) and the majority ( thank god! Otherwise why go? ) of students in our colleges and universities.  They scale the skies as astronauts ( we voted for the term: “Sky Princess” but noo, had to be astronauts ) expand our economy as entrepreneurs and business leaders, and serve our country at the highest levels of government and our Armed Forces.  In honor of the pioneering women who came before us, and in recognition of those who will come after us, this month, we recommit to erasing the remaining inequities facing women in our day ( and trying really hard to remember to put down the toilet seat ).

This year, we commemorate the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, a global celebration of the economic, political, and social achievements of women past, present, and future.  International Women’s Day is a chance to pay tribute to ordinary women throughout the world and is rooted in women’s centuries-old struggle to participate in society on an equal footing ( why it’s a size 4 how could you suggest larger? ) with men.  This day reminds us that, while enormous progress has been made, there is still work to be done before women achieve true parity. ( Yeah!! Paarty!! What? Oh…yeah that too )

My Administration has elevated the rights of women and girls ( girls girls… long legs and burgandy lips.. )  abroad as a critical aspect of our foreign and national security policy.  Empowering women across the globe is not simply the right thing to do, it is also smart ( unless you want to sleep on the couch, yo ) foreign policy.  This knowledge is reflected in the National Security Strategy of the United States, which recognizes that countries are more peaceful and prosperous when their female citizens enjoy equal rights, equal voices, and equal opportunities.  Today, we are integrating a focus on women and girls in all our diplomatic efforts ( man that Hiliary, is she a scottian broad or what? ) and incorporating gender considerations in every aspect of our development assistance.  We are working to build… conflict related sexual violence, both bilaterally and at the United Nations ( shit, theys gonna hate that little joke. )

In America, we must lead by example in protecting women’s rights and supporting their empowerment.  Despite our progress, too many women continue to be paid less than male workers, and women are significantly underrepresented in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (…mostly cause they are too busy painting teeny pictures of cats and unicorns on their frickin fingernails! Like do they think we care about fingernail decoration? )….

…As we reflect…

As we prepare to write the next chapter of women’s history, let us resolve to build on the progress won by the trailblazers of the past.  We must carry forward the work of the women who came before us and ensure our daughters have no limits on their dreams, no obstacles to their achievements, and no remaining ceilings to shatter ( unless, like she really, really wants to add another floor to the house.)

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim March 2011 as Women’s History Month.  I call upon all Americans ( and American-ettes heh hehe ) to observe this month and to celebrate International Women’s Day on March 8, 2011 with appropriate programs, ceremonies, (…shopping sprees, make-over party and that crap they stick in vases to smell up the house, looks like incense back in the day ) and activities that honor the history, accomplishments, and contributions of American women.  I also invite all Americans to visit www.WomensHistoryMonth.gov to learn more about the generations of women who have shaped our history ( some of whom are not all that ugly ).

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-eighth day of February, in the year of our Lord two thousand eleven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fifth.

BARACK OBAMA

It might be best that I remind the Reader that the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers ) is ‘gender neutral’. This means, of course,  that the worldview/perceptual bias is the same for men and women alike. To be even more specific, a clarklike female is every bit as distracted, ambiguous and creative as her male couterpart; and the scottian woman is as intent on determining the presence of predators (and prey) in her immediate environment as is the raging scottian male and rogerian woman…they are just about as girlish as is the average roger. (Just kidding,  a very feminine rogerian female is as girlish as the average roger…lol)

So the Doctrine joins the President in the Celebration of Womens Month!

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Now where did those scotts go? 

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