(shhh, she cleared her voice let’s settle back and read… the Winner is about to be announced!)

Dear fellow Wakefield “Doctriners” ^_^

I believe that this was the toughest and funniest contest I had to ever judge – although it was a first for me. I can tell you this, each and every one of your entries has diverted me exceedingly and each in different, yet completing ways. So before I come to the point, I’d like to congratulate YOU ALL for the quality of your writing and review (big word here…not so much the point).

THE CRITERIA were these:

Good – Fun to read – Clever – ‘How cool was that’… as a (secret) judge I assigned stars (5 max) for each criteria. Then, you got “doctrine points” for each comment & like/Google Share your entry collected because the reader is king/queen and has the last word in my world ^_^.

Roger: db(2)+ 1.5 ml He = db(2) – 1.5 ml Co2 (a dead balloon is a dead balloon)

You wrote a very interesting piece that first brought question marks all around my head (you were not the only one having this effect on me though ^_^)… this is a good thing by the way. As I read on, your tone made me think of the main character in a book that I had just finished and liked a lot (“The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss). So I read with a smile on my face all along… I have looked in my own mind to find the file of my own “particularly fond childhood memories” but I do not think it is placed behind my left ear… I could not say since I have not found it entirely yet – just bits and pieces that I wish were as rich as yours. In short, I smiled – even laughed a bit, agreed with you most of the times as I related and wondered about life – longer than my daily dose… I loved the journey you took me on.

Jennifer: What does “a dead balloon is a dead balloon” have to do with Personality Types? Nothing.

You got me laughing just with your title, which is quite unusual with me. What’s with the fear of clowns? I never understood it! I don’t particularly like them either since they never made me laugh… hmm… well, okay… maybe I do get your point here ^_^. Your entry was filled with the type of humor I am very fond of, so thank you for that and for your great choice of music video as an illustration. I loved that concert by the way!

DS#1: Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is (really just) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge…

I am such a fan of Lewis Carroll’s stories… I was ecstatic when I read your title and read expectantly your entry. I was not disappointed at all… no surprise here… that is brilliant writing, the kind that keeps you on the edge yet not over it. You created vivid images in my mind and your story had dogs in it which got me melting from the start. Thank you for the wonderful reading! I enjoyed every second of it.

Clark: while, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ the quality that gives life to the (non-dead) balloons is imperishable and therefore hold(s) out hope to all balloons’

Alright Clark… maybe you’ve got the award of the longest title in the history of writing contests ^_^. Your entry puzzled me in a very good way… which means that your intent of being both amusing and wry is reached, no question. Is information really the reality of Clarks? Yes… maybe, depending on how you define information… could philosophy be a type of information? I’d say that in my book at least it could be. I have to admit that I loved this sentence: “A ‘dead balloon’ is to a ‘live balloon’ as clarks are to scotts and rogers”… made me laugh for one and then think… “the space within and between permits life to exist”… interesting train of thought.

Molly: When a Dead Balloon is not just a Dead Balloon

Do you know how I react when I feel something bad or embarrassing is about to happen in a story? I fast forward to make sure that I am heading towards a good ending, and then I go back to the bit I could not read… your modern fairytale had such an impact on me, which is an extremely good thing. The quality of your writing and your storytelling blew my mind Molly. Beyond that, what you said was quite the message too…

The winner of the Doctrine’s First Annual Post-Writing Contest is:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Our very own Downspring#1 with 28 Doctrine Points for her great

‘Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is (really just) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge…’

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

^_^

*
**
***

/Your Friend of the Doctrine & Secret Judge, Clairepeek

(Hey!  Alex!!  yo  can we borrow some music? )  CLICK ME

So everyone, try to sit back and relax. The secretly Appointed (secret) Judge is poring over ( as opposed to ‘pouring over’ ) (yum, yum!) each and every one of the Posts!
Every Judgmental tool and instrument is being brought to bear; no expense is being spared in this process.  We gots (your) participle accelerator, (your) tonsil and adverb extractors we have even arranged for a very special and private room just in case there are any (‘specially irregular verbs) that need privacy for a conjugated visit. Don’t anyone worry about nothin.

The Nominees for Writer of the best/funniest/cleverest/’how-cool-was-that? Post (using ‘a dead balloon is a dead ballon’ in the Title of) are:

 Progenitor roger
One of the original Progenitors, 1/3 of the namesake of ‘the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers’, (the) roger hails from a small end-urban area in a state often referred to as ‘South Central New England’. His rogerian credentials include: ability to play the 12 string guitar without sounding like 2 mandolins having sex, deliberately (and without having to be threatened with a side arm) engaging in the “Pastime” of Civil War Re-enacting and being heard at a formal Dinner Party to reply to the offer of a second serving, “No, thanks, I think I’ll surpass on that!”

db(2)+ 1.5 ml He = db(2) – 1.5 ml Co2 (a dead balloon is a dead balloon)

Jennifer Wilson
One of the first of the second generation of people to come to the Doctrine, read and understand it and not say to us, “…if any of you people even think about trying to contact me again, I will have a restraining Order on you faster than you can say, wtf!” Jennifer is sort of the Fay Wray of the Doctrine, particularly in the context of this blog. Being a scottian female, and writing her own little Post ( “…ha, ha, he said Post!”)  Jennifer has a way of presenting the Wakefield Doctrine that is accessible and readable and the rogers, are drawn to it like rabbits trying to swim out of the Great White Shark Exhibit in Sea World.

What does “a dead balloon is a dead balloon” have to do with Personality Types? Nothing.

DS#1
…you know how clarks can be overly-rational, too analytical and emotional-devoid giant brains with little feet and long fingers (to type with)? Well, that is why we are fortunate to have DS#1 ’round here. So a clark, yet with a kindness and humanity that says to all the clarks out there, “hey! you can become as welcomed by the scottian people and embraced into the herd anytime you want! Just learn what I know and you won’t even have to shave half of your damn head”

Through the looking glass where a dead balloon is ( really just ) a dead balloon somewhere over the edge.

clark

while, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ the quality that gives life to the (non-dead) balloons is imperishable and therefore hold(s) out hope to all balloons’ 

Molly
Molly is, of course, one the ‘new generation’* of people here at the Doctrine and, as such, brings a certain perspective on our efforts that is quite crucial. In fact, this whole Post-writing Contest is kinda all her fault, lol she is the source of the semi-eponymous phrase that comprises the only requirement of  this first Annual Wakefield Doctrine Post-writing Contest!.

When a Dead Balloon is not just a Dead Balloon

So click on them links, Read the Posts then, (and this is very important), come back and Comment on your favorite Post.  The Contest remains open until 12:00 pm midnight.
If you would like to enter the Contest, send us an email to this blog (the Contact button’s on this page, somewhere) or write us a Comment, to the effect: “oh yeah? well read this, bunions!” and do not forget the actual phrase, ‘ a dead balloon is a  dead balloon’ must be in the Title.
Send in your link to your Post and you will be entered to Win! (Grand Prize will be awarded on the basis of Readers Comments and by the (secret) Judge’s decision.) The Winner will be announced on April 17th.

(Hello to all of our Hub Pages Friend! Glad you could stop by…yes, the Hub you read was correct, there is a big Contest and yes, you are totally welcome to enter to win a DVD! All the details to the contest have been explained in the last few Posts here, any questions? Don’t hesitate to ask us!)

Pressure? Did someone mention pressure?

“…In this context, the term ‘stress’ refers only to a stress with significant negative consequences, or distress in the terminology advocated by Hans Selye, rather than what he calls eustress, a stress whose consequences are helpful or otherwise positive.
Stress produces numerous symptoms which vary according to persons, situations, and severity. These can include physical health decline as well as depression. According to the St. Louis Psychologists and Counseling Information and Referral, the process of stress management is one of the keys to a happy and successful life in modern society. Although life provides numerous demands that can prove difficult to handle…

Many practical stress management techniques are available, some for use by health practitioners and others for self-help, which may help an individual to reduce stress, provide positive feelings of being in control of one’s life and promote general well-being.

The effectiveness of the different stress management techniques can be difficult to assess, as few of them have received signifcant attention from researchers. Consequently, the amount and quality of evidence for the various techniques varies widely. Some are accepted as effective treatments for use in psychotherapy, whilst others with less evidence favouring them are considered alternative therapies. Many professional organisations exist to promote and provide training in conventional or alternative therapies.”  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stress_management )

Well,  we know that the Wakefield Doctrine can and does address the question of stress and compensatory mechanisms as found in each of the three personality types. So lets just imagine a stressful life situation and see just how (each) of the three personality types will respond!

Situation:  you have  Post to write and 20 minutes in which to write it. You thought you could come up with a plausible/reasonably understandable scenario…you write the ‘set-up’ ….and…nothin!  Not a single life’s stressful situations comes to mind. You think to yourself ‘ok how about going to the doctors and waiting for biopsy results?’  and you immediately think, ‘ewww, this is supposed to be fun not awful‘ and then you think,  ”alright, then how about being in Court, waiting for the Judge to speak words that may change your life?” and your instinctual reaction is, “what, are you fuckin nuts? who the hell would find that scenario engaging?! this is supposed to be amusing and entertaining!” In desperation you look at the pretend clock on the screen and think to yourself, “what the hell, this is getting worse…more….stressful?  Aha!”

So given the above scenario, how would each of the three personality types of the Wakefield Doctrine respond, if confronted with this stressful situation?

clarks:

scotts:

rogers:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well, Readers ….Contest Week is here at last! The First Post has (finally!) been submitted for consideration and we are ready for the rest of you Writers to send in your Writifcations!

There has been some confusion as to the Rules of our Post-writing Contest. Let us start by saying,  (that) these Rules and Requirements are meant to enhance your enjoyment, provide a certain consistency and still allow the widest range of artisculated expression. And seeing how,  Steve Jobs is still dead from his recent ‘actual death experience‘ it behooves us to provide you with the following guidance, in the form of the ubiquitous FAQs*

Q) I want to enter your Contest. Is there (are) any limits on how I format my Post. (for) (..the contest)?
 A) No. There are no limits on the length of the Post, they may be as long (or short) as you desire. The only limit is that no Entry written using WingDing type font will allowed.

Q) So I can write about naked animals or flying snakes?!
A) Yes, yes you can. ( In the upcoming biography, ‘Steven Jobs are you serious, this guy was such a roger‘ It is documented that Mr. Jobs secretly purchased Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch and planned to use it as a wildlife refuge for flying snakes)

Q) I have a Post written that is totally wonderful! How do I submit this wonderfully written, (‘what is that perfume you are wearing?’) to the Contest?
A) Good Question (..I’m not wearing any perfume ;} ) Use the Comment section at the bottom of this Post or send us a message at ‘the Facebook’ ( which, as few people know, was invented by Steven Jobs…the project, code named “Your Face and My Pancreas” was sidelined by Steve’s invention of the ‘pancake’).  We will take the link to your site and print the Title of your Post hyperlinked to your site.

Q) So, what you are saying is: you will send all the Readers of this Contest to my own blog?
A) Yes siree!

Q) Anything else I should know about Steve or your stupid Contest?
A) The One Requirement of the Contest is that the actual, written-out phrase:  ’a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ must be a part of the Title of the Post. ( as far as Steve goes we think he was better than da Vinci )

So send in your Entries. The Contest Post will appear on Friday the 13th and we will Post entries until 12 midnight (at night)! The Post will remain up until the (secret) Judge’s Final Decision on the 17th. Good luck! If you are a roger and would rather contact us at ‘the FaceBook’ go here  or  go here!

Click here to view the embedded video.

*contrary to what many of the in-curably rogerian fans of apple and Jobs would have us believe the FAQ has been around well before Jobs invented the Computer ( which was right after he invented the bicycle, the waffle iron and the electrical nose hair remover). To support this contention we cite our friends at ‘the Wikipedia:

“…the FAQ format itself is quite old. For instance, Matthew Hopkins wrote The Discovery of Witches in 1647 as a list of questions and answers, introduced as “Certaine Queries answered”. Many old catechisms are in a question-and-answer (Q&A) format. Summa Theologica, written by Thomas Aquinas in the second half of the 13th century, is a series of common questions about Christianity to which he wrote a series of replies.” ( www.wikipedia.com )

Thats all I could find…

If you are still reading, the reason for and the explanation of the Title of today’s Post,  is that we have a Contest coming up at the end of this week, the Wakefield Doctrine Friday the 13th Post-writing Contest.
We are hoping to get a lot of entries (to the Contest).
We have a Grand Prize and we have a (secret) Judge. We will be Posting the Posts (lol) as links in Fridays’ Post. So when you come here this Friday the 13th, you will see Author Names and (the) titles of their submissions, and these Titles will be linked back to the Author’s website. Lots of good reading!
As to the criteria for judging the entries and awarding the Grand Prize? …you the Reader will have the opportunity to vote and Comment on each of the submitted Posts! …and we have a (secret) judge who will read all the Posts and all the Readers Comments and then, on April 17th will announce the Grandest of Winners!
That lucky life form will then sit by their mailbox/P.O.Box/or other preferred means of delivery and wait for the Prize to be delivered. We will all feel joy, for that person has been judged to be the Best of Us all! And as for the rest of us, non-Winners,  for once in our collectively self-involved lives, we will join with others in a positive emotion, pooling our good wishes for this Writer-Above-Writers! In a spasm of selflessness ( a sensation that some of us may feel for many years to come ), we will give of ourselves to this other person, the person who was chosen over us! Fun? Maybe! Difficult? Surely for all of us and especially difficult for a few us! Worth the effort? How can you ask that!? You will be part of something bigger than yourself, bigger than you and one other person, hell! …big as can be! So get to work!

So that concludes our Mandatory Monday Post!

(Hey, did I ever tell you the ‘Easter Egg Hunt from Hell’ story?  It is a tale of one clark, the adult world ( read: rogerian) and a contrived competition that totally sealed my personality type into that of a pre-dominant clark.)

Anyway, the year was 1958! (or maybe it was 1957) (it could even have been Easter of 1956) on Martha’s Vineyard.¹ It was Easter Sunday. The Hunt was held in the Park and all the parents in the world brought their children to the Easter Egg Hunt. As we walked to the Starting Line, it was explained to me that.  ”…now clark, when they say go, you have to run and find all the hidden eggs that you can, before the other children do“. Fine, easy enough.
Until I saw the crowd… there had to be at least 3,000 people there, ( to my 5 year old mind ), the adults were all standing in a group, while their little children were standing in a roughly rectangular shaped group behind a bright pink ribbon, which was suspended between two Posts, about 30 feet apart. And beyond the ribbon was a clear expanse of grass of about 150 feet and then there were bushes and benches and fountains and other parklike features.

(blah, blah blah!!! )  Hey, you know we are talking about a clark, right?  and the group of adults and judges and the guy with the Starter Pistole? rogers!!  and the crowd of kids?…pretty much all rogers.
If you have been reading this blog and paying attention at all, you know what happens next…. as I am pushed by my family to get towards the front of the starting group, I am thinking desperately  ” OK…find the eggs… are they real eggs or are they candy…where would they hide them…. where would I hide them…I had better win this thing, they are all so excited….what is that guy telling all these kids??!  Did he say GO??!”  …and off I ran!
Got about 30 feet,  thinking, ‘boy,  am I ahead of everyone!’  then I looked back. At the kids. At the adults. At the un-broken pink ribbon.  They waited until I walked back to the Starting Line, the  Starter/Announcer guy did say good things about my enthusiasm.
When the Easter Egg Hunt gun went off for real, I walked, not slowly not too quickly, across the field to find the stupid hidden eggs.

Good news for modern clarks!   …for the Wakefield Doctrine Friday the 13th Post-writing Contest, there will be no starting gun, there will be no Pink Ribbon but there will be a day when all the Contestants will appear with their Posts. This will be Friday. Now if you want to enter early, that’s fine! We will simply hold your Post in a draft of the Post that will appear this Friday.
So send it in.
Remember!!! Only one Rule!!  The Title of your Post must have within it the phrase ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’… that phrase can be at the beginning of the Title, the middle of the Title or even the end ( of the Title) but it must be there. Otherwise write whatever you feel like writing.

1)  Martha’s Vineyard is an island off Cape Cod, which in turn, is off the New England coast in the US. Considered a part of the State of Massachusetts, at least by the politicians, Martha’s Vineyard was a 45 minute ride on a Ferry from Woods Hole. It was an island in every sense of the word, geographically, geologically, demographically and most importantly, sociologically. There were people who were born on the Vineyard (yours truly) and there was everyone else. …and never the twain shall meet, as the old, somewhat confusing saying goes.

So look around the house this morning, if there are no apostles or deities sitting at  your breakfast table, then why don’t you just send the kids out to play…do whatever you need to do to the Spouse/Significant Other² and then get yourself some SABD³ and pick a fight with your blog⁴

Really, the thing about the Wakefield Doctrine (in general) and this blog (specifically), is that we are all here for the adventure, the entertainment, the challenge and even the self-development that has been a result of our efforts over the last 2 or 3 years that this blog has been on line. Granted the style of presentation is a bit…eclectic, eccentric and otherwise hard to figure out, but isn’t that the way it always goes?
When you look back on your life at the things you have done, all of the varied activities that fill your hours, weren’t most difficult to learn the basic skills? And only after getting past the ‘I don’t get how to do this! It’s not worth the trouble!” moment and committing to learning, then you found the real enjoyment that comes with practice. Hell, think about your friends, your wife/husband, girl/boy friends! I would be comfortable betting that if you remember the time before they became what they are, there were moments that you thought, ‘why the hell am I bothering? this person is a pain-in-ass, demanding and doesn’t make sense way too much‘.
So, yes we are saying that the Wakefield Doctrine is exactly like falling in love with your wife or your husband.  lol

But you’re here! So have some fun and enter the damn Contest!!

Rules Redux:

• write a Post with the phrase  ’a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ in the Title
• you can write about anything you want, you do not have to mention balloons or death or any possible qualities that they share in common
• (if you are entering a Post-writing contest), then you probably have your own blog-like place,  send us a link to where your Post is published
• write us an email or message us at ‘the FaceBook’ hell, you could even put it all in a Comment!
• try to include something/anything about yourself that you want to see in the little ‘author blurb’ next to your Post
• on Friday the 13th, we will do write a Post and it will  List the Titles and Authors (the Titles linked back to your site)
• we will ask Readers to Comment and even vote!
• the Winner will be announced on April 17th
• the Winner will be picked based on the Comments of Readers (on April 13th) and be selected by the (secret) judge.⁵

All of us here at the Wakefield Doctrine extend to all of you there ( in the “real” world), best/appropriate wishes that the re-birth process that you choose to commemorate at this time of year comes true, at least one more time. However, we suggest that you make this the last year that you decide the symbolic re-birth of your favorite deity is the highest form of spiritual expression. Contrary to what many say, you are not immortal and you should not live your life as if you are, this will only lead to self-centeredness, short-sightedness and a lack of commitment to your acts as you go through your day.

And seeing that this is a time of celebration of re-birth and triumph over death, write us a Comment so that next Easter’s bonnet will have Wakefield Doctrine written on it! How cool will that be!

Click here to view the embedded video.

1) I can say that because I am not only a clark, but I am also the Moderator of Comments here, so don’t worry…there will be no laughing at Contest Entries…

2) yes, including that look do you want to win this thing or not?

3) ask the Progenitor roger

4) totally love (that statement) attributed to Jack White when asked about his approach to song writing, “I just get a guitar and pick a fight with it”

5) the (secret) judge, may or may not be a Friend of the Doctrine but two things will be true: a) they will not be me and 2) they will not be a Contestant in the Contest. (hell, we might even have more than one of them)

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in New York reminiscing about home.
“Back in me pub in Glasgow,” brags the Scotsman, “fer every four pints of stout I order, they give me one fer free!”
“In me pub in London,” says the Englishman,”I pay fer two pint’s o’ Guiness and they give me a third one free!”
“That’s nuthin’” says the Irishman, “Im my pub back in Dublin, you walk up to the bar, they give the first pint fer free, the second pint fer free, the third pint fer free — and then they take you upstairs and you have sex for FREE!”
“Is that true?” asks the Scotsman. “Has that really happened to you?”
“Well, no,” says the Irishman, “but it happens to me sister all the time!”

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine!  This thing is so efficacious it’ll make you puke.  No, really!  the Wakefield Doctrine does everything those other personality type idiots claim to be able to do, except that this is the real deal. I wouldn’t lie to you.  Now those other  people who write these Posts, them guys say ‘you got to understand this, and you need to appreciate that…fuck that.  They’re right  and  it will work like they say, but that don’t mean nothin, if you don’t use it right and have fun, whats the point?. But… if you do use it right, you will have the edge on everyone around you right now and everyone you run into later on…unless you find someone who already knows about those Wakefield Doctrine people,  don’t worry about nothing, you won’t, cause they’re probably sitting in front of a computer somewhere indoors.

What the hell good is something if it doesn’t: a) get you more of what you want, b) let you take less of what you don’t want or c) get you laid? Huh? What!

I was such an ugly kid that when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

(Rodney Dangerfield)

But you better pay attention…this Doctrine thing is good, you need it and we have it…pretty simple, isn’t it?

Real quick:

• you see people the way that you do, the way that they are  (for you…)
• people see you the way that they have to see you, and that’s because of the way they are…
• the trick is…you are both right
• the Wakefield Doctrine lets you know how the other person thinks that the world works…maybe the same (as you) and maybe different
• if you know how they think the world works that gives you an edge over them, ’cause they don’t know that there are other ways to see things…like the leopard can change his spots.
• …and the best part is, chances are, they don’t know why you know what you know…they think you believe them!

So there ya go. The Wakefield Doctrine. good tool…fun thing to do and a whole world of people who will never see it coming.  Have fun!

Click here to view the embedded video.

I spoke to the progenitor roger about Thursday’s Post and he actually, (well, maybe accidentally) complimented us on the writing!
Well…what I actually said was, “hey, that Post, did it sound at all rogerian to you” and he said, “no, not in the slightest”.
We talked a bit about the object of the Post, i.e. my effort to write from the perspective of my rogerian aspect. And in all fairness, I did state that even though we all have the capacity to see the world as ‘the other two would’*, the fact of the matter is that he (roger) has spent a lifetime practicing being a roger, while even though I have access to the worldview of a roger,  I simply haven’t had the chance to practice. (being a roger).  At this point the compliment appeared, where roger said,  ”well, I have to admit that when I first read the Post I thought it was a guest Writer or something”.

We will choose to view this as an indication that we are using the Wakefield Doctrine as an effective tool for personal self-development.

Any….way, we were talking about the pre-pre-pre-production plans for the movie  ’the Wakefield Doctrine ‘the early years‘ and roger said, in effect, that he was getting tired of seeing James Spader  held up as an example of a roger.
To which, I replied, ‘well, we can go get William Hurt (back when he had hair) or Alex Baldwin (when he wasn’t fat) or even….” I was interrupted by roger trying to say,  ”hey that’s all not valid, those are actors”

Back in the early days of this blog,  the question of actors and actresses and the personality types of the Wakefield Doctrine was addressed. It was clear to us that the best way to illustrate what we meant by a scottian personality or a rogerian personality,  was to find examples of the personality types in public figures.  In other words, a person that everyone will either know already or can look up easily.
And so we did. Not only did we identify famous people that were clearly clarks, scotts and rogers, we found examples of people acting like clarks and scotts and rogers in movie roles. And we used these clips to show people acting so much like the three personality types of the Wakefield Doctrine, that  you would think the scriptwriter read our blog!
The examples we have found to post are so good that we will put them below here (you have to go into the Post and play the vids) …

a scott and a clark   (Robert DeNiro and David Caruso)

a scott and a roger  (Jack Nicholson and James Spader)

Cool, eh?

But the question still should be answered, the question that the Progenitor roger almost got to ask…”that’s not the person, that’s the role!”  To which we reply, maybe one role one time, but follow an actor’s career and the roles they play and you will see a clark or a scott or a roger playing a role that would appear to be a clark or a scott or a roger. Look at the actors in interviews… the personality type is there.  Case-in-point, Robert DeNiro in two of the above film clips… do you think the Director said, “Alright, Bob gimme something with self-effacement and retiring, yet still be able to maintain a long-term friendship  with a raging lunatic”.  No, I think it is safe to say that if you met Mr. DeNiro in a restaurant you would think, ‘jeez, what a clark!’

Following is a music video that took me hours to identify, because it was stuck in my head this morning and all I ‘had’ was that it was Stevie Wonder  and there was a line about ‘bet your something something ‘  ( ended up  listening to every cut on  Talking Book and Songs of Life)

Click here to view the embedded video.

* for any new Readers, this statement about ‘the other two’? It refers to a basic tenet of the Wakefield Doctrine, that is, we are all born with the capacity, the potential, the capability of experiencing the world around us in one of three characteristic ways: the  world of the clark, the worldview of the scott and the reality of the roger. At an early age, we all settle for one of these three and that becomes our ‘predominant’ worldview… ‘personality type’.  But we always have the other two as potentials.
Look at it this way, my predominant worldview is that of a clark, so I say ‘I am a clark‘ (but) I can also experience the world as a scott or a roger. We sometimes refer to these other two as ‘aspects’… so you might say, for example,  hey! you’re a clark with a secondary scottian aspect and a tertiary rogerian aspect.  And the person next to you might say, “What the hell are you talking about?”(and that, is your opening…good luck!)

The Wakefield Doctrine here. Hello. Happy to see so many smiling faces on the other side of the screen! No, I can’t really see anyone out there, but I know that you are there, the glass keeps fogging up!  Must be the scotts getting themselves worked up over the thought of something new to chase.  Sorry to disappoint, nothing here to chase, but lots of news and insider information.
Did you know that the original scott, was and still is, an accomplished artist? He used to draw these cartoon things back when we were all in the college dorm. Well, he and the progenitor clark were in the college dorm, I was just visiting. Although eventually he, scott that is moved out of the dorm and we found a place to live for the band that he was in at the time. So long ago that all was.

Before you get any more involved with this Post, I need to tell you a secret. This Post is trying to ‘sound like’ it was written by a roger, but it’s that clark  up to another one of his tricks! So don’t be fooled. Or maybe you should pretend to be fooled and we can all see how far he is willing to go to push this jalopy farther down the road. So play along.

In any event, the original progenitors or better to say the original three friends whose names are used in the title of this personality theory by the numbers were real, living, breathing, sometimes shouting friends. You should have been there! Or there should be a way to go back and do a flashback episode of the beginnings of this theory of clarks, scotts and rogers. We would have to make a choice, if we were going to try that. Do you want to have like, black and white original-looking film clips? Like Ken Burns goes to RIC?  All jumpy and un-steady camera, edits that make no sense… scenes that hold way too long while a voice that sounds like a guy pretending to be Chip Monck  does the narration.  We could even have letters to home  no wait!   phone calls…it would have to be phone calls to each other because no one wrote letters in the 60′s and 70′s. Heck, in the 60′s and 70′s there were only pay phones in the dorm, in the drugstore and in those superman phones booths with the folding doors!  ( “hey, ralph broke down with all the equipment in the back! get your parents car we have to get this stuff out of here!”)

Or the other approach would be to do a modern version of the story with real actors and modern production techniques.  Nah, that wouldn’t work…so much of the story of the Wakefield Doctrine namesakes has to do with and is embedded in the mid 20th would never work. How do you convey the sense of groundless hope,  enthusiasm without restraints? mindless optimism and trust that you are on the right path for your life even when you don’t even know about the concept of ‘looking up ahead’?  the original scott? total energy, enthusiasm, talent, live now! the roger? confident, talented, able happy to to trust the future to what he believed he knew about the world, the clark in all this? running…running to stay ahead of something, running to get to something running because there was no world around him that made sense and he was trapped by the idea that it all was supposed to make sense.

Go figure.

(But the movie of clark and scott and roger go to college? totally like the idea)

Click here to view the embedded video.

First Annual Wakefield Doctrine Post-writing Contest Update: we expect to Post our first Contest Entries by week’s end.

(For Readers just joining us), the Contest is open to all who would write a Post with the phrase, ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon‘ in the Title.  This Contest is open to all who want to enter, as long as you send us your info and (the link to) your Entry no later than April 13th.
The Grand Prize is a DVD of ‘Tin Man’  and will be sent to the Post that is voted by Readers ( and secretly judged by the secret judge) to be most: funny/clever/interesting/amusing and/or significantly cool.

Did you know that with the Wakefield Doctrine you can understand why the people in  your life act the way that they do?
You know what we mean, that behavior that leaves you saying to yourself, ‘Now why on earth would they feel it necessary to say a thing like that?’ or how sometimes after going out to some social affair with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband and as you drive home you keep thinking. “I really thought I knew them better than that!’

Well, those are the kinds of situations that happen to us in relationships, all the damn time. And depending on our own personalities, we either try to ignore it or get into a fight over it or even feel bad as if it were, somehow, our fault…our responsibility. If you are tired of feeling this way or want to maybe do something about not having to feel this way, then the Wakefield Doctrine can help! Do one or more of the following:

1. Read this blog until you understand how the Wakefield Doctrine can help you
2. Write us a Comment and demand to know how we think we can make such extravagant and un-substantiated claims
3. Grab the person who is causing you all this grief, sit them in front of a computer open to this Post…right now if you can!
4. “Hey! you! you are causing aggravation to a person who has come to the Wakefield Doctrine for help! Listen to us…Stop it!  Now!  (read the following step)“
5. “Now put that other person in front of the computer you are reading this on…now! and do not try to go to another site”.
6. OK, you are on your way to understanding the people in your life, especially the person you just made get up from the computer ( the one who is now saying, “What are they saying about me! It better not be something bad“! Ignore that and read the next two steps.
7. The Wakefield Doctrine is a way of understanding why people act the way that they do, it is fun and it works… (“tell them you are almost done here….and that we think they are really great, but misunderstand people”)
8. With the Wakefield Doctrine, you will not only understand the people in your lives but you will understand yourself way better than you have ever before….(“…almost done, tell them we are almost done“)
9. There is only one thing about the Doctrine that you need to know, if you want to deal with the people in your life…
10. the Wakefield Doctrine is for you, not for them…. ( “OK put that other person in front of the computer and write us a Comment….later, after they have left”)
11. “Hey, you are really alright…what?  no, no they think the world of you and they totally know that you have a tough time getting the people around you to understand just how hard it can be! We know that, and believe it or not, they know that…but you gotta do us a favor… encourage them to come back to this blog and read it everyday. Will you do that for us?  Great! We knew we could count on you!!  Now put that other person back in front of this computer…oh, one more thing   the Wakefield Doctrine has hats and if you write a Comment, we might send you one! Really… now get up and give your seat back to them“.
12. …all set!  Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine.