the Wakefield Doctrine<title> http://wakefielddoctrine.com (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers) Sat, 22 Nov 2014 15:13:05 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.5 a) 10 , b) Things c) Thankful, d) all of the above -the Wakefield Doctrine- (yeah, why is it, there shouldn’t be too many ‘Ds’) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/22/a-10-b-things-c-thankful-d-all-of-the-above-the-wakefield-doctrine-yeah-why-is-it-there-shouldnt-be-too-many-ds/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/22/a-10-b-things-c-thankful-d-all-of-the-above-the-wakefield-doctrine-yeah-why-is-it-there-shouldnt-be-too-many-ds/#comments Sat, 22 Nov 2014 15:12:13 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24296

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks scotts and rogers)

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You know how when you sit and get an idea for a Post, and at first it’s all, “yeah! what frickin great idea, this’ll knock their socks off!”  but then, as you start to write it, you’re all… “damn! this is a great idea but either I got no clue how to express it, or it’s a monster writing job and there’s like an hour left before I have to leave for:  a) work, b) the Tennis Club c) the soccer field d) the Fields of Wamsutta   … well, am I in or am I out?”

Lets do this thing!

Ok. Fine… a little set-up is in order. The is the Wakefield Doctrine and today is Saturday, which means we write a Post to participate in the TToT bloghop-and-weekend-extravangza. Please read the other Posts showing below, then you will not only get an idea of how beneficial and exercise such as this can be, but will enjoy the many outstanding and gifted writers and bloggers who join us each weekend. You’re bound to find something among (these other Posts) that will cause you to stop and think, “you know, now that she said it, I can see how I might look at my situation more positively!  Go TToT!!

1) I’m grateful to everyone who voted and the Mandate is clear! Thank you! Thank you! I am totally grateful and hope to not let you all down.

2) I am grateful that there is not a lot of discussion of the ‘real world’ in this bloghop ( Lizzi’s efforts on behalf the less fortunate are (an exception)  simply because she is advocates for what she is willing to do, not what others should do… big difference imo   …as to the real world depicted in all our blogs… those are all Tales of lives, the remarkable gift of the blogosphere to us Readers

3) I am way thankful to zoe and Denise and Liz for the stimulation last night*

4) well, sure  I saw the Poll results  (yeah, this is being written before anyone can vote so, there is a certain calculated risk on how I proceed, pollistically-speaking)

(For record,  Phyllis and I have always had a family of ourselves and ‘an only dog’. I used to be fond of saying, “yeah, but the advantage of dogs over human children is that they are always glad to see you when you come home and never get to a point (in their lives) where they have friends that they would rather spend time with and then go off to college.”
That being said, there is always the ‘well you’d have to have children to understand‘ situations.
I just got off the phone ( you see up there…#4?? I wrote that 27. minutes. ago.) When I read blog Post from a parent, lamenting over the lack of adult romantic time available, what with the kids being just down the hall, I can say with complete conviction, “I understand. I had such a…. ambition  for this Post, what with the clever Polls and funny things I could …stick in them,  gone as surely as a voice in the night, “Daddy I just threw up on Billy”.  … if you don’t mind, I’ll finish this post,  because now it’s time to go to work…  maybe later in the day, I can sneak back here, perhaps I’ll remember the one Poll Questions that were bubbling up in my writers sub-whatever….)

5) Work… I am grateful for my work, even if it causes the occasional ‘postus interruptus‘  like this morning…. hey the photo on the ‘front’ page? that was from yesterday as I drove around rural Connecticut…. I enjoy driving

6) Phyllis.  she is as enlightened a roger as there is out there, which, in all selfishness, is great for me because I not only get a rogerian view of the Doctrine (as I enjoy from Kristi and Michelle) but, she, Phyllis is demonstrating some aspects of the rogerian worldview that is totally furthering my understanding and appreciation of that 3rd personality type

7) …awright…. not an overly funny or exciting (recovery time goes way up as a blogger ages, ya know ) Poll:

8) too soon, right?    $&#*&^^@!!  I really was looking forward to writing  this Post!  I know I should simply accept that, ‘the moment’ has passed and there’ll be another Saturday morning when I can come back and write a Post that will. knock ya socks off! 

9)  yeah,  zoe…. Lizzi!   one doesn’t mess with the Seven!  play with them and they will mess you up!  Hey!  Sarah…. we still are totally encouraged to comment-thread-jump, i.e. totally interrupt the conversation that occasionally develops when a Comment causes the blog author to see new insights!

10) SR 3.1  (the first and my favorite of the Secret Rules….) hey! if you have any Poll questions that you would like to see here… leave them in the Comments, I’ll be happy to put them in the Post

 

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 

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* barum…bump!  no, seriously we were on a Friday Night vidchat and it was all I have come to look forward to….

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back to basics the Wakefield Doctrine ‘clark in 23 minutes, no re-writing or editing allowed*’ Friday Update… now with Polls!!!! http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/20/back-to-basics-the-wakefield-doctrine-clark-in-23-minutes-no-re-writing-or-editing-allowed/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/20/back-to-basics-the-wakefield-doctrine-clark-in-23-minutes-no-re-writing-or-editing-allowed/#comments Thu, 20 Nov 2014 12:06:46 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24285

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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Seeing how we’re into the Major Holiday Season (Major Holiday Season motto: “no! no need to worry how to feel! we’ve got you covered!“) and, how I’ve promised Kristi an enjoyable Post for that celebration of the rogerian nature, i.e. Thanksgiving, I thought for the next week I would get back to the basics, Wakefield Doctrine-istically speaking. Seeing how this personality theory of ours started out as ‘the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, lets spend 23 minutes talkin about the personality type that everyone thinks must be quite interesting, (but are secretly glad they are not),  clarks…. (get that timer ready)

clarks. the worldview of the Outsider. given that the Wakefield Doctrine is based on the idea that ‘personality type’ is nothing more than the coping strategies that we develop as we grow up, in response to the world that we find ourselves in, is it any surprise that, when considering a person with the clarklike personality type, that we often are reduced to saying (or yelling, in the case of a scott), ‘why do you insist on making your own life so difficult (on yourself?!)”

a clark awakens to a world that is fascinating, interesting, bursting with potential, hostile-in-an-impersonal-way, full of fear as the background emotion. and yet, the clark is (often) very intelligent, creative, funny and… and this is where are clues to understanding these people, compassionate to a fault. All of this is understandable when you can accept that a clark is a person, like a scott or a roger, but believes that they are living in a world that they are not a part of. ( a clark is the only one to make the observation that ‘they are here and the world is out there‘  and genuinely mean it.) a clark spends their waking hours trying to discover the information, to learn, to find out the secret of becoming a real person. (for a clark, everyone else is a real person….all you have to do is watch them! the scotts are active and confident and don’t seem to care what everyone thinks of their antics and rogers… well, hell  they fit right in, they are friendly without a hint of fear and they know exactly how to do it (whatever it may be!). clarks know that they don’t know. clarks know that they are missing something. clarks also know (and if you really want to know what it’s like to live in the worldview of the Outsider, then know this), clarks know that they must not be discovered. (clarks rarely explore this aspect of their day… the fear of being in the spotlight, the terror of un-invited scrutiny, the risk of being found out as being people who don’t belong.

clarks have a busy life. clarks are often thought to be: intelligent, ditsy, well-read, obstinant, arrogant, kind, stuck-up, lazy and well-meaning-if-only-they-would-apply-themselves. clarks live their lives, each day an opportunity to maybe, this time, discover how to stop the constant self-criticism, willing to work harder than anyone they can see, looking to the people have come to accept as friends (for most clarks, the bond they feel with their few friends is way, way stronger than the bond they feel with their blood relatives), hoping only to someday find the answer.

…out of time!   damn!  sorry, guys  a subtitle is a subtitle!  if you liked this, we can continue tomorrow, otherwise write us a comment and tell us to ‘hurry the hell up and get to the interesting personality types  Hey!!!

* except for the intro to the Post. Just wanted to be clear on that… wouldn’t want anyone thinking I was cheating**

** yeah, add,  ’irrational concern and focus on the positive regards of total frickin strangers‘  look at the big brain on the new Readers!

******************#############********************

As astute Readers need not to be told, yesterday’s Post included Comments from FOTD (friends of the Doctrine) zoe and Christine  offering insight and advice germane to the topic of yesterday’s Post. As implied* in my Reply to Christine yesterday, heres the Poll!  (Anyone else want to contribute…leave it in Comments and I’ll add to the Poll!

 

* implied aka ‘a clark’s promise‘,  this is when. pressed by well-meaning people (i.e. scotts and rogers) to promise to do something good for themselves, clarks will ‘promise’. the difference between this ‘promise’ and what real people commit to is found in the statement of intent (that underlies the clark’s assent to the request).  that’s not overly clear, should give you an example….   I got it!   you know how scotts and rogers, smile?   …and you know how clarks smile (hint: lips pressed to together, the hint of an up-turning at the corners of the mouth, semi-eye contact, until confirmation that the other person was, in fact, smiling)  that’s ’a clark’s promise‘.  totally will to go all in, just waiting for full confirmation that we’re not being set up

 

 

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Wednesday’s Task the Wakefield Doctrine (…to learn what I already know.) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/19/wednesdays-task-the-wakefield-doctrine-to-learn-what-i-already-know/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/19/wednesdays-task-the-wakefield-doctrine-to-learn-what-i-already-know/#comments Wed, 19 Nov 2014 11:44:14 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24270

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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So to continue our discussion of the woman and the dog:  why make a big/small/any-sized deal out of a mis-perception? Because the Wakefield Doctrine is predicated on the notion that we all live our lives in a reality that is, to a varying, but certain degree, personal. Of course, our little story of the hot and haughty woman driving her dog around in a Mercedes GL550, stopping at a traffic light in Westerly RI only to have the dog turn into a nice old, if not slightly dotty old woman and the driver become a gracious youngish lady out for the day, was meant, entirely for me, it does not prevent us from using it as an illustration of the underlying concepts, principles, tenets and assumption of our little personality theory. Yet the insights that are part and parcel with this 5.7 minute section of an otherwise normal and mundane day, are available to all who would avail themselves of it. This is because, if the Wakefield Doctrine is about anything, it is about perspective. In my case, what I derived from this experience is, in part:

    • as soon as I ‘decided’ that I was looking (in my rearview mirror) at a woman of (probable) wealth who was also quite attractive, I reacted in a defensive (and therefore, emotional) manner.* The value of perspective, to those of us employing the Wakefield Doctrine as a tool to enhance our understanding of the people in our lives, is found in our better understanding how the world appears to us. I would say that the most important value in it’s use is the opportunity to become more accepting of ourselves.
    • the dog in the passenger seat, reflecting my affection for dogs on to the driver, resulted in my being willing to excuse her, her socio-economic superiority and, ‘realize’ that she might not be as haughty as I first thought (though her hotness was never in doubt)
    • to see a dog turn into an old woman is not nearly as impressive as it is to see a dog (where there really and actually was a woman) in the first place and neither matter, it was the effect of my perceptions on my emotional response that matters
    • finally,  …. no! the Wakefield Doctrine does not expect us to collapse into intense introspection every time we notice something odd in the world, and no, my noticing (and reflecting upon all that is being described) does not require one to become focused only the three worldviews and the impermanence of reality or run out and buy a Mercedes GL550, it does expect you to remember that:

the Wakefield Doctrine is not an Answer * the Wakefield Doctrine is a bunch of fun and interesting Questions * the Wakefield Doctrine does not tell how to change the other person * the Wakefield Doctrine is a fun way to look at the world around you and offer a perspective * the(se) perspective(s) are what the Wakefield Doctrine is really all about…. discovering and understanding ‘how I relate myself to the world around me?’   …..and no, it is surely not all struggle and work, conflict between the old and the new, it is the simple realization that you don’t need to learn or otherwise acquire new information or knowledge to become a better you, you simply have to see and accept the ‘better you’ that is already there.

ya know?

 

 

 

* major little point here: despite my being a clark, the ‘why’ of any of the events, observations, inferences, assumptions, reactions and conclusions  are not important. The value in what is being described is, as the old saying goes, “…the benefit is not what is seen, the benefit is knowing that what is being seen is special”

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of clarity and explanation the Wakefield Doctrine (“why didn’cha tell me how hard this writing shit was!”) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/17/of-clarity-and-explanation-the-wakefield-doctrine-why-didncha-tell-me-how-hard-this-writing-shit-was/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/17/of-clarity-and-explanation-the-wakefield-doctrine-why-didncha-tell-me-how-hard-this-writing-shit-was/#comments Mon, 17 Nov 2014 12:39:17 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24261

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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Before we begin, let’s see if I can tell a story*

This past Friday, as I was stopped at a traffic light, I watched in my rearview mirror as an expensive SUV pulled up behind me. The driver, a woman looking to be in her late 30s, was dressed, made up, (whatever the correct term for ‘looking a certain way’ ), consistent with the vehicle. She looked, in my rearview mirror, to be a woman of means. Naturally that caused me to ask myself, ‘why is it you think that and what does that tell you (about yourself)’? Nothing unusual there, what any clark would think, when forced to sit and wait in a car, surrounded by other cars and their drivers. But! I looked (in my rearview mirror) and noticed a dog in the passenger seat. It appeared to be a smaller, poodle-like dog, long curly hair, large nose. I smiled (I like dogs). Then I noted the change in my attitude towards the well-dressed woman in the driver’s seat. I now felt….more positive towards her. (Being a person who practices the Wakefield Doctrine pretty much all the time, this change set off a series of questions, mostly regarding why I felt on the defensive when I first saw the driver, but now was feeling decidedly friendly towards her.) All this took place in the space of about 3 minutes. I kept glancing back, (through the rearview mirror). at the woman and the dog, until the traffic light turned green. As I started forward, (turning left towards my office), I saw a person’s hand raised on the passenger’s side of the car behind me (it was, by the way, a Mercedes SUV) and  I saw that, sitting in the passenger seat, was a little and rather old woman with curly blond hair. I laughed. I felt grateful for the moment.

There’s the story.

The second theme (of) today’s Post is courtesy of 2 comments made about the Doctrine. One from our friend Kristi and one from an associate at work. Both gave me a new appreciation of my efforts to present and explain the Wakefield Doctrine. From Kristi:

I’m also excited and thankful for the upcoming holidays, but that really isn’t a surprise.
Family history seems to be one of those hobbies that transcends worldviews.”

From the woman at the office**

We were in the office yesterday and, at one point, I said to her, “hey, I know you don’t read the blog, but the newest concept is really very helpful, it’s called ‘the everything Rule“. I proceeded to explain that ‘the everything Rule’ (short for: ‘everyone does everything at one time or another Rule’), suggests that rather than try to see where something fits into the three worldviews, a better way is to assume that when person does a thing, i.e. ‘enjoy genealogy or eating in a restaurant or taking a shower’, what that thing is, is different for a clark or a scott or a roger. That, in fact, ‘taking a shower’ manifests differently in each of the three worldviews. She said, ‘That sounds like it waters down the Doctrine, but let me think about it a little’.”

These impromptu observations made me realize two things:

  1. that I must re-focus on the fact that the Wakefield Doctrine is talking about three different realities… sure, they’re personal realities, but it is still a reality
  2. this notion that we live in a reality that is personal, is the linchpin for the Doctrine, and while admittedly a difficult concept to accept, without it, the Wakefield Doctrine is just another clever categorization of traits and habits, quirks and smartass
  3. I need to work harder on expressing, in this blog, that what sets the Wakefield Doctrine apart from other ‘personality theories’ is that, rather than list likes and dislikes, phobias and secret desires, the Wakefield Doctrine says: your personality type is that collection of successful coping strategies and social adaptions appropriate to the reality you grew up in… if you grew up in the world of the Outsider or the life of the Predator or the reality of the Herd Member…. your personality type is totally appropriate, good and sufficient.

…so, thank you to Kristi  and to my associate at work for a reminder that this writing thing, while fun and enjoyable, is really fricken aggravating!

 

 

 

 

* my definition of ‘tell a story’ is: using the least number of words, convey not only an event, but do it in a way that allows a willing Reader to experience what I experienced.

** this person is a scott and she is fairly conversant on the Doctrine, at least to the extent that I have explained it over the years, she is not, however, a Reader of this blog

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TToT the Wakefield Doctrine ‘non-long, non-rambling, still about things I’m grateful for, mostly Wakefield Doctrine related’ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/15/ttot-the-wakefield-doctrine-non-long-non-rambling-still-mostly-about-the-wakefield-doctrine/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/15/ttot-the-wakefield-doctrine-non-long-non-rambling-still-mostly-about-the-wakefield-doctrine/#comments Sat, 15 Nov 2014 14:10:51 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24249

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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1) I’m grateful for the ‘major holidays’ that are looming on the calendar. They make it so easy to discuss, illustrate, make fun of and explore the worldviews of the Outsider, the Predator and the Herd Member  via the Wakefield Doctrine!

2) (and)…the ‘everything Rule’, which is short for the ‘everyone does everything at one time or another Rule‘.  Integral to the use of the Wakefield Doctrine as a tool to help us better understand the people in our lives. the everything Rule reminds us to not get distracted by over focusing  on questions like, ‘is that the kind of thing only a clark would do?‘ or ‘that’s surely a scottian job‘ or ‘only a roger would do something as blatant as that!’. Instead, we keep it simple and ask, ‘How would that particular (life problem, family situation, pick-up strategy) manifest in the world of the Outsider, the life of the Predator, the reality of the Herd Member. If you know your worldviews, you’ll know more about the other person than they know about themselves.

3) ….work: stressful and satisfying, stressful and fun, stressful and profitable. plus, when I’m being smart, I get to go look at nice houses. Example: Yesterday an agent who works in the Watch Hill market came to me and said, ‘I have this property I’m trying to list, you have the time to drive over there and see it?’  (My grat item here actually is this: I had more work than I could handle and was facing an afternoon of being buried in paperwork, but fortunately, I thought about when I first got in the business and said, “yeah! sounds like fun!”) Besides visiting a remarkable properties, it was fun and relaxing to spend an hour or so driving around and learning about which famous family sold which house to this other family. (knowing the people who make up the social order in a market such as Watch Hill matters as much as knowing about what has sold for how much, it was fun and relaxing to hear about the people, as it was looking at the houses).

4) an[other] agent in my office showed me the family tree/genealogy project she was working on… what made this especially interesting is that she is a clark with a secondary rogerian aspect. (I know what you’re thinking!  at first I thought the same thing! ok clark…not so much into the family history, surely this is her secondary rogerian aspect exerting itself… but then I remembered…. hey!  ’the everything Rule’!! lets try to apply it to this example of a personal interest in family histories)

5) Una has been sleeping better of late. She’s never been comfortable with nighttime… and living in a rural area, no telling what kind of lifeforms have occasion to walk past our house in the wee, small hours…. when they do!  Best way to describe it, Una explodes into barking…. very loud, very serious  (dog for: ‘hey! humans!! wake up!!! something is out there!!!!   hey!! whatever you are out there  get the hell out of here!!!”)  Lately though, we’re down to maybe 2 episodes a night, which is a definite improvement. (as a clark with a dog, my strategy during these events is to first remind Una that she is safe with us indoors, then get her to get on the bed (facing the window, of course) and compliment her on her excellent guard dog skills….it tends to work and she falls right back to sleep)

6) lets consider the Book of Secret Rules (aka the Secret Book of Rules). Is this not one of the coolest things about the-blog-that-Lizzi-built? Now I don’t get out to a lot of other bloghops (not being a female-based person, it’s only natural that I hangout pretty much exclusively here), but I can’t think of a tool/insight that is more beneficial (and fun ) than the BoSR/SBoR  A big part of what I like about it, it’s not a free hall pass…. totally not a ‘do whatever just because you don’t feel like following the Rules’.  I know from my own experience, if I’m in a spot, can’t complete all 10 or maybe need to get creative with the organization of my post, the Book demands what is probably amounts to more effort than I would have had to have expend if I just wrote the damn thing out ’1 to 10′.  lol

8) ’Parks and Recreation’  I don’t seem to find much on ‘TV’ worth watching, I loved ‘Deadliest Catch’ for the first few seasons, but then the marketing guys got to work on the show (“…what the Viewers want to see is whiny men, with mean attitudes and preferably a few missing teeth!”)  but last year I stumbled across this show ( Cable Company motto: “...you have the channels memorized?  wait! there…they’re all different and mixed up now…don’t worry! there’s one channel where the shows are listed in between the ads that wouldn’t fit across the bottom of your screen when you find your show…  you’re welcome”) and am a total fan.

 9)  digital photos! (the photo at the top of today’s Post is from last week…. that’s the moon (to the left of the green highway sign)  rising gigantically as I drove north on Route 1  (you know how, on just a few special nights (usually Summer or early Fall), and the moon is still only 10 or 15 degrees up off the horizon, you see it so big and bright that you naturally think, “oh shit! the Sun’s gone nova and there’s about 45 minutes until the blast wave circles the globe to get around to me here on the night side”  (And you think to yourself), “…how to spend my last minutes on this earth? ok, the first thing is roll down the windows, find a good college station on the radio and head for the ocean. try to reach Phyllis on the phone, but she doesn’t pick up, and then think about Ola and smile, because she was the best thing in your life (and she would have answered the phone, well, if she had opposable thumbs, which she didn’t, but she would have, at very least barked at Phyllis to answer the phone… like the time Phyllis and Ola were home during a severe lightning storm and Ola herded Phyllis from room to room, until finally, Ola got her to sit in the car in the garage and they waited out the storm, safe on the rubber tires), and I smile and….) wait a minute!! am I still typing??!”

9.5) New Readers?   kind of happens, nothing to be concerned about, I’m back… Christine or Kristi can explain  (I’d suggest Dyanne, but she’s facing winter and she’s a scott so, tread carefully)  of course zoe and Denise and our Miss Lizzi know…

10) grateful for the nature of the Wakefield Doctrine, in that I discover new ways to use it as a tool for self-development nearly every damn day!  (example? why of course!  I called an attorney on a real estate transaction yesterday. he opened the conversation with, ‘I’m glad you called! Your associate left me a long, rambling voicemail and I was getting concerned about what the problem was‘   We talked, I explained what was going on, everything back on track. My insight? the ‘associate of mine’  who left the ‘long and rambling voicemail’  is a clark  and I was able to reflect… ‘note to self: watch out for the leaving of long and overly comprehensive voice mails….  but there was a certain… difference in how I felt about this reflection on one of my characteristics. I wasn’t embarrassed (I have no need to tell the associate what was said), but I took it to heart.  Because I could identify with the other clark. This aspect of the Doctrine is incredibly promising for clarks… there is an old saying around the Wakefield Doctrine, “…only a clark can be learned from by another clark

 

Ok… out to the work

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 

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it’s garbage day… no time to make up a new..er Post! the Wakefield Doctrine (hey…lighten the hell up!) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/14/its-garbage-day-no-time-to-make-up-a-new-er-posts-the-wakefield-doctrine-heylighten-the-hell-up/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/14/its-garbage-day-no-time-to-make-up-a-new-er-posts-the-wakefield-doctrine-heylighten-the-hell-up/#comments Fri, 14 Nov 2014 12:38:48 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24238

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

The-9th-Gate-the-ninth-gate-16058026-960-412

“...the ego of a clark is a thing of subtle, yet supreme majesty. clarks walk the earth, desperately hoping that, as in the fables where a king dresses as a commoner (the better to know his subjects), they will be accepted into the homes and hearts of the people they meet. and they are, in part,  because the commoners, ‘the real people’  are not fooled by the clark’s attempted disguises. the joke is on the clark because the bosses/ the teachers/ the girl at the gas station/ the co-workers/ the lovers/ the friends/ the spouses and the people-we-really-can’t-seem-to-get-along-with…. everyone that a clark naturally meets in the course of the days of their lives, knows (or suspects) that clarks are not the king in disguise. and, even though they wonder why the clarks believe they need to disguise their true natures, most are happy to play along, choosing to accept us with our quirks, recognizing our innate good natures.” (the book of the clarks… Wakefield Doctrine)

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Hey!  lets do a re-print Post!!! (I fear I’ve said too much as it is),  from November 13, 2012…

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of personality that you get to enjoy with your friends and them, before it gets all famous and mainstreamy and everyone will know about it)

Question: If your husband is a roger and you are a clark, is it true that they never accept how much you have changed over the years, since you first met?
Answer: Too true1

(Welcome to ‘ya shoulda just asked Tuesday’! We will be presenting some common questions and the semi-comprehensive answers…along with a little commentary, mostly to let us get away with dividing the page into block quotes.’)

Question: My best friend is funny and fun to be with, but sometimes when we are around other people he gets like, mean even goes and picks on me. But this happens only with certain people, this big kid that (my friend) knows. What gives?

Answer: Chances are your friend is a scott and the person that, when they’re around, your friend starts acting mean?…well, that other person is a scotttoo, but they are what we call dominant (to your friend). So your friend, even though he is picking on you, doesn’t mean to hurt your friendship… it’s a pack2 thing, you know?
Answer: jeez, if you say so

(This question deals with the changing pack order (from the scottian perspective) and it’s effects on the behavior of a scott. Note: this question (and by implication, the experience cited), will most likely be posed by a clark. Do you know why that should be?)

Question: My fiancée and I are getting close to the Big Day. When we first got engaged, we both agreed to keep the ceremony and everything on the quiet, low-key side, but lately, ( the wedding is in 3 months), she has been talking more to her sisters and some of her old friends and it seems like the guest list is getting bigger and bigger. What gives?

Answer: She is probably a roger. Forget about changing her mind. It means a lot to her, in a way that you will never understand.  So relax! Sneak a couple of your friends that she might not have approved when the guest list was small, she probably won’t even notice now, and if she does make an issue of it, say the following to her (word for word): “I understand how important family is to you now. And even though I am not close to my family, you have shown me that my feelings3 of friendship with (fill in the names of you friends) make them like family. Won’t you let my family join your family …darling?

(And there are those who would say, ‘Hey Wakefield Doctrinaires! Sure you have a uniquely clever take on personality types, but what about practical applications? Huh, what about those?‘ Well, here ya go! Who cannot not identify with this situation? …not counting the rogers, of course!)

Question: My boss is nice enough, but it seems like he tries too hard to be, like my friend or something! Every day it is ‘how are you doing?’, “is there anything I can do to make your job easier?” I mean, all the time! I can’t get any work done when he is in the office, he is always offering to ‘help’! I might be able to deal with this, except that every time I do get some work done that he needs to sign off on, he always finds  fault! And if I come up with something on my own initiative (he likes to say that he wants me to try to ‘think outside the box’) he is either totally negative or acts like he is amazed that I actually did it myself!  Should I quite my job?
Answer: Probably.4

(This Question deals with a scenario that is all too common. And, although we do not propose that all bosses are rogers, we will say this, ‘If your boss is a scott you have: a) a good time everyday up until the day he decides that it is time to change careers or b) a lead pipe cinch of a sexual harassment lawsuit, so the day you get tired of her shenanigans, ‘it’s sayonara see ya in court’
If your boss is a clark, then we know the following: a) if your clarklike boss is female then her boss is a roger, if your clarklike boss is male then his boss is a scott!  and b) they (clarks) make great bosses, will stick up for you totally against all opponents, but jeez! enough with the leadership by consensus! Get a set, yo.

That music referenced in the Title of today’s Post? Totally weird. I’m sitting and watching TV and a commercial comes on and before I can hit ‘MUTE’ I hear the music in the background (of the commercial) and I’m off to the great and omniscient google… and here we are

1)rogers are about consistency, if they are about anything at all! The worldview of the herd (rogers) maintains that history, tradition, continuity…consistency is of the greatest good! The worldview is also one in which the individual’s relationship with the world-at-large manifests primarily in emotional terms. So when a (lasting) relationship forms, the details of ‘the other’ person are important, in a sense, manifesting the emotional investment. So, as time goes by, even though people change and grow and develop, the roger will still insist on seeing the ‘original person’

2)scotts, in the initial behavioral metaphor: like pack animals, i.e. wolves, dogs, lions and such. The social ranking in the pack is one of simple dominance, an alpha at ‘the top’ and everyone else in order of strength/prowess/capability downward from there. It is a primary characteristic of the scottian personality type to establish ranking when entering a new (social ) environment. Literally going from person to  person, figuratively pushing them on the shoulder in order to establish ranking

3) emotions! always play the emotion-card when dealing with rogers!

4) you could try to…nah, don’t even bother.  Maybe if you got to the Doctrine sooner, you might have learned enough to invoke your own rogerian aspect to re-configure your work relationship… but too hard, too frustrating, easier to get another job. But then again, most bosses/middle managers/supervisors/Principals are rogers!  so maybe you should be asking about the Wakefield Doctrine School of Self-Improving Oneself…school

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yeah, whatever-Wednesday the Wakefield Doctrine http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/12/yeah-whatever-wednesday-the-wakefield-doctrine/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/12/yeah-whatever-wednesday-the-wakefield-doctrine/#comments Wed, 12 Nov 2014 12:34:31 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24231

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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Yesterday’s Post gave us an example of how the Wakefield Doctrine can be applied to a real world situation. We saw that our understanding of the worldview of the people we interact with makes available more options and choices for us.  (In other words): you and I are interacting/ relating/ fighting/ making up/ making out/ punching out or simply sitting-around-trying-to-figure-out-what-there-is-to-do-in-this-boring-little-town… I know that you’re a (clark or a scott or a roger), so I (also) know how you are perceiving the problem that confronts us both, which means that I can adjust how I present ‘my side’ of the situation in order to: gain a strategic advantage/ finally see eye-to-eye/ aggravate the hell out of you/ agree to disagree or just-kiss-and-make-up. All as a result of knowing the Wakefield Doctrine, because, as we should always remember, the Wakefield Doctrine is a perspective that allows me to see the world, as you are experiencing it. All I have to do is correctly infer ‘how you relate yourself to the world around you’.

Fine, fine! you’re saying at this point. “Any personality theory lets me know the other person so well that it’s like I can read (a part of) their mind! Big deal! What does the Wakefield Doctrine offer me, right now, this morning, in the way of changing the likelihood of my having a very stressful and difficult day…today! huh? what does it offer?”  Glad you asked! What the Wakefield Doctrine says on the matter is this:

“…by virtue of knowing that we all live in what amounts to a personal reality, and, by accepting that our dominant worldview (that of the Outsider, the Predator or the Herd Member) is simply a description of the way that we have learned to relate ourselves to the world, and that we retain the innate capacity to experience the world as do ‘the other two’,  we do not have to feel that we at the mercy of whatever the world seems to throw at us today.”

If I’m a clark, then I know that I’ll act and react as is characteristic for a person who has spent a lifetime being an Outsider. That doesn’t mean that I can’t see the world as does the Predator (scott) or the Herd Member (roger).  This is one of the most significant insights possible, to know that the actions and interactions that comprise my day today are but one (of three) versions of how the world and I get along today.

…today, the world is a reflection of how I relate myself to it.  (The people and things and situations) do not make me feel a certain way, do a certain thing. I relate myself to the world around me. That is the only answer to the question many of us find ourselves asking,  ’why is the world like this?’

…ok, we’re out of time this morning!  I’ll continue this later…. oh! wait! almost forgot to tell you!  I was driving yesterday, thinking about the Doctrine book and a subtitle came to mind that I’d like to get everyone’s opinion on,

the Wakefield Doctrine
(“…the way to a better life in a short number of years! not decades or your entire lifetime…. just a few years of very difficult and, at times, frustrating effort!”)

what do you think?  catchy?

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Too(s)day the Wakefield Doctrine ( “I think Tuesday is the cutest (of the) Workdays! …like a 2nd date, so full of promise, yet such a potential source of suffering!”) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/11/toosday-the-wakefield-doctrine-i-think-tuesday-is-the-cutest-of-the-workdays-like-a-2nd-date-so-full-of-promise-yet-such-a-potential-source-of-suffering/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/11/toosday-the-wakefield-doctrine-i-think-tuesday-is-the-cutest-of-the-workdays-like-a-2nd-date-so-full-of-promise-yet-such-a-potential-source-of-suffering/#comments Tue, 11 Nov 2014 12:53:03 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24220

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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so, yesterday we wrote a Post that was built on the following promise:

So here’s what we’ll do: I’ll write a couple of hundred words about the value and use of the Wakefield Doctrine on a typical Monday morning. I’ll stop writing, take a quick shower, get dressed and start my work day2. After an hour or so of work, I’ll come back here and ‘re-write’ this post. Let’s see if this ‘oh-my-god-can’t-you-see-how-incredibly-useful-and-fun’ theory of personality accounts for any change in my day.3

Fine. I’ll tell you about my day and the (principles) of the Wakefield Doctrine. I won’t attempt to re-write yesterday’s Post, for the obvious reasons. (Actually all I want to do is try and come up with something clever (and a touch risqué ) about character of Tuesday). But promises are promises (unless they are threats, and then you need to be more careful of clarks than scotts or rogers by a long shot!)

In the middle of the day yesterday, I had occasion to interact with people I had never met.*
I walk up to the front door, (noting that a person was coming towards the house from across the yard), and knocked on the door. a scott answered. I knew she was a scott from: a) her eyes** and 2) she smiled and stepped forward at the moment of introduction,  ’Hello, I’m clark from….’  ( I laughed to myself and thought, ‘god! I loves this Doctrine’ …and increased the volume of my voice, shortened my sentences and cranked-up my (level) of eye contact.) The meeting went well.
The person I noticed walking across the lawn towards us? (who I ignored because I needed to establish a relationship with the dominant personality)  another scott! (he was there to help with the move…) he had no legitimate role in the interaction,  but he kept coming back into the room where I was talking to the scottian woman.  lol ( you ever watch a bunch of puppies playing as a group? one is always trying to establish ranking***  that’s what this guy was doing. He walked in to the house, didn’t introduce himself by name, (because he was a member of her pack and therefore not alpha), but nevertheless was trying to see if he could establish dominant ranking on me  (it would have enhanced his relationship with her, of course).  I mean you could see the energy as he walked, pretended to be a part of the conversation, walk away and then come back in…. I did not allow myself to be distracted… it was fun to watch.

Anyway…. that was my Day-with-the Doctrine.

Tuesdays… your favorite Day of the Workweek?

 

* it was a meeting with transitioning tenants, I was there to make sure everything was being left as it should (by the parties leaving), not necessarily an adversarial interaction, but the potential was there, as I was representing the interests of the owner of the property and the people I was dealing with were representing their own…

** new Readers?  not such an impressive deduction… a primary identifier of the scottian personality type is in the eyes, ‘the gaze’ to be more succinct  (read more on the Page on scotts… suffice to say, ‘a scott is never not paying attention to what’s going on around them’)

*** another primary characteristic behavior of people who live in the world of the Predator… the drive to ranking, trying for dominance, but not attaching importance to being the alpha, as much as it is necessary to know where one stands… the pack social order

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Monday Morning the Wakefield Doctrine (“hey! it’s an experiment…and just like in those ‘B’ movies, I’m experimenting on myself”) http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/10/monday-morning-the-wakefield-doctrine-hey-its-an-experimentand-just-like-in-those-b-movies-im-experimenting-on-myself/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/10/monday-morning-the-wakefield-doctrine-hey-its-an-experimentand-just-like-in-those-b-movies-im-experimenting-on-myself/#comments Mon, 10 Nov 2014 12:01:11 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24210

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

we all remember this from our undergrad 'Abnormal Psych' class, right?

we all remember this from our undergrad ‘Abnormal Psych’ class, right?

Lets try a little experiment this morning. Two things first:

  1. It’s been established (or, at very least, admitted to) here that, once I’ve engaged in the normal everyday demands of work and family and such, the supply of post-worthy words dries up faster than a 67 year old’s honeymoon
  2. the Wakefield Doctrine is about learning about myself (as much as it is about seeing into the thoughts of you and the other people in my world1)

So here’s what we’ll do: I’ll write a couple of hundred words about the value and use of the Wakefield Doctrine on a typical Monday morning. I’ll stop writing, take a quick shower, get dressed and start my work day2. After an hour or so of work, I’ll come back here and ‘re-write’ this post. Let’s see if this ‘oh-my-god-can’t-you-see-how-incredibly-useful-and-fun’ theory of personality accounts for any change in my day.3

(Here we go)

the Wakefield Doctrine is a perspective on the nature of the world (and the people and things and events that make it up). Properly applied, the Wakefield Doctrine allows me to know more about ‘the other person’, than I have any right to know.  With the Wakefield Doctrine, I am way, way less likely to find myself saying, “Now why in the world would they say/do such a thing?! I really thought I knew them better than that!”
As to how I go about ‘knowing more about you than you know about yourself’? All I need do is observe and (correctly) infer how you are relating yourself to the world around you. Are you acting like an Outsider? Do you sound like you are experiencing the situation as would a Predator or are you simply comfortable with the situation, as comfortable as a Member of the Herd? Once I know that (about) you, I can anticipate not only how you will react to a situation or interaction, I can get a glimpse of the world as you are experiencing it. This last is the most challenging aspect of the Wakefield Doctrine. Knowing that the other person (may) be perceiving the world differently than I am, even though we are both in the same room, hell! there’s no one here in the break room except you and me and all we’re doing is talking about the job we both have (the same job) and yet….somehow, you are reacting to it in a way that is totally at odds with the way that I would!  that is the power of the Wakefield Doctrine

…oh yeah, the other part? If I want to… I can see parts of myself in a new light. This is not always such fun, but I can if I choose. The thing that this Wakefield Doctrine says to us is, ‘hey, you’re experiencing the world as (a clark or a scott or a roger)…. you have the right and the capability to see the world, experience the world as do ‘the other two personality types’…so don’t worry about:

  • not understanding (hey clark!! 2/3s of life is not about understanding or knowing or figuring out shit!  but don’t let your brain trick you… you got this!)
  • not being ready (scott! yo… sure you’re always quick ….you’re even as smart as all them, don’t give it a second thought, what they seem to think they know that you don’t know?  doesn’t matter…’cause you do!
  • nope, they’re not talking about you, roger… and even if there are moments when you think you can’t continue your efforts, that everyone has turned away, it’s not true.  don’t give it a second thought

…alright. that’s what I have while I am still in ‘simple clark‘ mode.

stop back later this morning and lets see how it looks after I’ve had to engage in the ‘real’ world for a couple of fun-filled hours!

 

 

1) ok, it’s still about that, but I’m trying to establish my premise, so cut me some slack, ok?

2) meaning, I’ll check my email, do a couple of things, go to the office, check a couple of things and then come back to this Post…oh, probably around 9:55 am

3)  no, I do believe you are that trusting!  lol…. as a matter of fact, no I don’t think of what I’m writing as the product of a writer, telling whatever story I choose… I actually think of this as a record of my experiences, somehow converted to public display mode

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TToT the Wakefield Doctrine (no, zoe, I swear I didn’t go anywhere near your post before I wrote this,…am not a copycat) lol http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/08/ttot-the-wakefield-doctrine-no-zoe-i-swear-i-didnt-go-anywhere-near-your-post-before-i-wrote-thisam-not-a-copycat-lol/ http://wakefielddoctrine.com/2014/11/08/ttot-the-wakefield-doctrine-no-zoe-i-swear-i-didnt-go-anywhere-near-your-post-before-i-wrote-thisam-not-a-copycat-lol/#comments Sat, 08 Nov 2014 13:05:15 +0000 http://wakefielddoctrine.com/?p=24198

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Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

It’s not that I have to get myself out of negative and/or ‘bad’ moods on some mornings…it’s more a matter of,  (an illustration that should resonate with the rogers: it’s 5:30 pm on Thursday of Thanksgiving. Dinner was a success and your guests are watching  TV in the living room and you’ve just finished putting away the dishes. You sit for a minute (you’ve been up since 5:30am), and you nod off, just for a second and, all of a sudden, someone walks in and says, ‘We’re all going for a walk, come on it’ll be fun!’  lol that is what this morning was like, trying to write this week’s TToT). It’s a matter of working out the emotional stiffness (from habitual worry) and trying to stretch all the muscles (I mean, I am capable of the gratitude thing that this bloghop emphasizes). It’s just that some mornings… it seems to take a little longer on some mornings to get my mind right for this exercise. (I know that this TToT is a good thing, and it’s benefits are what keep me coming back…week after week…after…)

Hey!!  Lets go ice skating!

1) is being able to start one more TToT Post.  (no!  hold that ‘awww’  you haven’t seen what I will be trying to pass off as a grat list!)

2) Christine and Dyanne  as scotts, they’re not only fun to know, but following their blogs makes me smile (and/or laugh), at times, as they illustrate the scottian worldview

3) @

4) ok here’s where I ‘started’ this Post:

Wordless Grat List:

20141028_091546_resized 20141028_091627_resized 20141026_084403_resized 20141007_174625_resized_1 20141006_125653_resized_1 20140907_161003_resized*

 

5) yeah, I know… a) that doesn’t make any sense at all! (and the least I could do would be to present these photos with captions or titles, like zoe and Kristi do so well with their photo Posts… but, hey, if I took the Doctrine name off this Post, mixed it up with a bunch of others and said, “find the Doctrine post and win the prize’ who doesn’t feel totally confident? 2) I didn’t invoke the BoSR (aka SBoR) to count each photo as an item! what gives?!!

6) That’s a pretty low-keyly archaic expression!  ’…what gives?’ I better go look it up.

7) (yeah, I know, now I’m starting to drift into cheating at the itemization….)  but that is also a very useful insight into the worldview of a clark!  If any of you ‘non-clarks’ are trying to see how the Wakefield Doctrine can be helpful in better understanding a clark in your life, know this: clarks (believe that they) keep track of everything in their world. and when it looks like a clark is trying to take advantage of a situation (“…dear, I thought we discussed this already, you said that would do (fill in blank), like you promised!”)  well, if your clark insists that they are holding up their half of whatever bargain you are in, there’s a very good chance that they are factoring in a variable that you are not aware of… (the clark in this situation might be thinking,  ’I know I said I would study 1 hour for the 1 hour of TV, but the Reading I did last week, that she didn’t count… that gives us a credit against the study time!’)

8) there was another…. oh yeah!  let do another mystery Item…. who to go to, who to go to….  here

9) (you ever plan on exercising and, knowing that you have to stretch and limber up first, find that you have spent all your time getting ready and left no time for the actual activity?

10… hit the showers, yo

 

* hey Dyanne…Christine  don’t say it!**

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** yeah,  at least I have Phyllis in one photo

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