Six Sentence Story -the Wakefield Doctrine- ‘the Mystery of the Missing Starr’ (cont’d)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

1946-Lauren-Bacall-and-Humphrey-Bogart-CBS

Wednesday Warm-up, Stretch and Blank White Page Exercise.

I do this most every Wednesday, if for no other reason than it’s nice not to have to face that the horror of ‘the blank page’, (‘Apocalypse Now’ horror as opposed to ‘The Hindenburg’ horror). lol

Each and every week our host, zoe, says to us, “Excuse me? If you have a story that a) is of exactly six sentences in length and 2) involves and/or is related to the word ‘SCORE’, why don’cha link up this Thursday and we’ll have some fun with words and such.” And that’s the score with this Six Sentence Story bloghop.

Score

After two minutes of staring at the elegantly over-dressed woman trying to hide behind her self-assured beauty, I got up and watched her reflection in the rain-warped glass of the window as she shrugged off her coat and looked around my office like a person watching a documentary about life in an isolated culture that had one word for outsider and twenty-eight for spouse.

I decided I needed the money more than I needed to go home and, gauging how she sat in front of my desk with one leg crossed, like a railroad crossing barrier, halfway between ‘All Clear’ and ‘Stop! Danger’, I knew I better get her name written down on something before I forgot why I was in my office at 1:43 in the morning.

“Alright,” I walked around the front of my desk and sat on the edge, pushing her crossed legs to the side with my knee, “Five hundred a day, five days in advance and…”; she leaned forward without moving and un-crossed her legs.

“The money’s not an issue, my ex-husband believed that the lack of money was the root of all suffering, he was a very happy old man,” she said as she took an alligator leather checkbook holder from her bag, put it lengthwise on my right knee and, leaning her right elbow on my left thigh to steady her hand, wrote a check for twenty-five hundred dollars.

Slightly raised eyebrows put her smile in quotation marks as she tore the check free, slowly enough that the parting of each perforation could be heard. It sounded like a paper zipper; I was fairly certain she did it on purpose, score one for her.

 

 

Previous installments in ‘The Mystery of the Missing Starr’ is here and then here (the second ‘here’ brings you back to here).

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clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one

Comments

  1. Stop, Danger! I don’t think that is the final score of this story.

  2. Moon says:

    Brilliant , Clark . Loved the story and the minute details that only fine story tellers can delineate.

  3. UP says:

    You had me at Bogey and Bacall – nice job

  4. Well, then. Good one.

  5. Simply brilliant! Score two for you!

    My Six Sentences!

  6. phyllis says:

    Very nice description of sexual tension as a sport – you score.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      (and the competition is stiff)

      barum bump!

      • zoe says:

        Regular stand up comedian you are…drumroll please… really great story… Very Bogey and Bacall.

        • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

          even though they (Bogart and Bacall) were before my time (yeah, imagine how long ago that would be!) I like the imagery. The story is turning into a writing break from the other stuff. I’m just about done with Chapter 1 (of the Mystery of the Missing Starr). You know, I really need to get these people some names! lol It (discovering character’s names) can be a lot of fun, but in this case I don’t have a sense of the characters enough. Which is not a bad thing. More to follow. Thinking I might do this as a ‘non-serial’. Wait, write the whole thing (seat of the pants or outline, don’t know) and then let it loose on the world. There is a challenge (to the Reader) in the serial format, the time stretching effect that makes me want to try a regular story approach. Like the genre, should be interesting.

  7. Yeah! What everybody else said!
    I’m intrigued. You got me hooked now. I bet I’m not the only one either 😀
    (No, no pressure Clark lol)

  8. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    Nice again. Keeps nicely to the style, nice quick rhythm. Fun with words! And look, I can’t stop saying “nice”.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Thank you, that was a ….
      ha ha

      I’m thinking that, sooner or later, I’m gonna need to give these people some names and such. usually it’s not so a difficult thing, in fact, finding a name (for a character) is kinda fun… reading lists of names popular at certain times, in certain cultures, random search, like the Strip Club our as-of-yet-un-named detective will be frequenting… that was a fun… nearly real name. (plus, they own a commercial fishing boat)

  9. mimi says:

    It’s smart to get his money in advance — if the check is good. The client in these stories is usually not quite trustworthy.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      you know, I’ve been reading about the genre, detective novels, aka pulp fiction and that does in fact seem part of the style.

  10. This is excellence, Clark, your warm up obviously served you well! Enough steam and intrigue in just six sentences to get our attention and leave us wanting for more. This is the kind of writing I’d like to achieve!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Thanks J. The genre is interesting and challenging. A lot of interesting aspects to it. Like the idea of 1st POV and a more limited story line. Get case/investigate/almost solve mystery/have someone surprising die/engage the antagonist/solve mystery/set up next book

  11. Deborah Lee says:

    Well, that was a pouty, steamy little number. Score indeed! lol

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      why thank you! lol… (I guess it’s time for our un-named Detective to get out and do some work!)