six sentence story -the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Humphrey-Bogart

 

(Heading out into Wednesday…wish me luck, meetcha back here Wednesday evening)

Made it. Now for a little stretching and exercise. Now is the time for all good…

 

…ok, lets try this: detective story in first person.

This is, of course, zoe’s weekly bloghop, the Six Sentence Story. The prompt word is ‘LIFT’.

I heard the lock on the outer door to my office close with the carved metal click that made me glance towards the drawer that held my .38. Although it was 1:33 am, a time of night when reasonable people are home, asleep in bed, the sound didn’t much bother me. The fact that I didn’t hear the door open, did. As I followed the lead of my reflection in the rain-streaked windows, turning away from dark city streets to face the door, I put my right hand in the now open desk drawer.

Backlit by the bright ceiling lights of the outer office was a woman with a body that was born to take hostages, a heartbeat later I heard a contralto voice that made the word ‘sultry’ sound like ‘lemonade and cookies’; I wanted nothing more out of life than to listen to that voice, “I hope I have right office, the directory in the lift listed ‘Desiderata Investigations’ as being on this floor, but didn’t give the office number.”

I took my hand off the revolver and grabbed my heart; like jumping into a lifeboat swinging off the side of sinking boat, I suspected that one was going to get me killed a lot faster than the other.

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clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one

Comments

  1. You have found one of your niches fo sure!
    Really like this. Not that Bogie and Lauren had anything to do with how I “framed” this scene :D
    It is a stand alone. Nice.

  2. Moon says:

    Such a suspense-packed wonderfully wonderful love-at-first-sight story, Clark .

  3. phyllis says:

    I bet you had fun writing it?

  4. oldegg says:

    What a delight the read this story, well listen really as your words spoke to me just Humphrey Bogart would. Top of the class for you.

  5. UP says:

    Good read, you always bring it!

  6. Deborah Lee says:

    Had me thinking of Calvin & Hobbes: “My name is Bullett. Tracer Bullett. I’ve got two slugs in me, one from a .38, the other from my hip flask…” What an awesome six.

  7. Brilliant – it acted out in my mind as I read it.

    Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings

  8. valj2750 says:

    A kitschy six sentence story, Bogey in his fedora with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. And of course, Lauren Becall (or Lana or Betty). Love it.

  9. Nice old school approach. Love it!

  10. mimi says:

    Very well told! It brought me a huge smile, imagining the scene.

  11. Sageleaf says:

    You’ve definitely got a knack for the suspenseful. :) Nicely done!

  12. dyannedillon says:

    Holy smokes, this was well-written!

  13. zoe says:

    You are now and forever here by known as NOIR DUDE!

  14. Dude, that was one terrific tale. Well written. I am stunned, pleasantly though.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      thanks, man. suspect I’ll be smart to keep our detective around, no telling when I might need an episode.

      (In all seriousness, that particular genre (detective stories in the first person) is, imo, amazing for economy of words and still very visual)

  15. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    nice bit of Juicy Fruit on your wingtips, chucko. well done.

  16. I am so glad I came back to catch up on my SSS reading, it would have been sad to miss this one! Excellent intro to what promises to be a fascinating tale! You are really good at this mystery/suspense stuff!! I held my breath when heard that door click and reached into his drawer, one never knows what evil walks the halls in the wee hours of the morning! And sometimes such as this, danger presents itself in a very attractive package.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      I really enjoyed this one. There is such a challenge in writing in that first person economical style of the old (and newer) detective pulp novels. Expect to hear from our as-yet un-named gumshoe

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