Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
(yeah…that little bastard in the left rear did, in fact, throw something at our hero, who is trying to take the proffered advice to ‘just ignore them and they’ll get bored and move on…’)*
(If you are a clark*)…have you ever had a day when, just before the mid-point of the (weekday) morning, you come to the realization that you are, for all intents and purposes, invisible? Nothing cool, no walking into the Girls Locker Room or standing behind the Teacher at the front of the room, not even getting right next to that clot of rogers in the break room, close enough to be able to hear who said what, no none of that…just invisible, as in (socially) insubstantial, inter-personalistically transparent. A faint voice with no determinable origin.
(If you are a clark*)… while sometimes this state is fun, have you ever had the realization that, as little things go wrong in your day, (they are little things, if only for the fact that you accept that they happen to ‘everyone’), as you attempt to correct (these mistakes), mollify (their irritation), ameliorate (the bad feelings and reactions that begin to drift in, like an early morning fog), that (not only are you invisible and (semi)-insubstantial), it is this state-of-being, that is creating the conditions in your day and (despite your efforts to find this all amusing and interesting and so clarklike), the negativity shows no signs of letting up?
(If you are a clark*)… there is a feeling within, a sense of contributing and creating your own dis: -location/-satisfaction/-ease/-approval, that seems to grow with each half-hearted and doomed-from-the-start effort to get the day back on the right track. It is very akin to the saying, ‘they just can’t seem to get out of their own way’… only with the added element of your knowing that it is you who can’t seem to stop mumbling and stumbling because you are not picking up your feet when you walk.
(If you are a clark*)…there is an element of emotion underlying all of this. It is truly difficult to get your head around/put in words. And yet, there is a sense of ownership and with that comes a certain defiance that you realize, if it were not trapped within, held in check by your outsider-nature, you would be raising some 6 kinds of hell. but, you don’t. You endure, waiting for the more limiting (and damaging) parts of this feeling-state to pass, resolved to make it different next time.
(If you are a scott*) … thank you, but the appearance of disability and discomfort, while real, is nowhere near as you might imagine. Having no ‘fight-flight’ instinct, we tend to endure and bounce back…without accepting the rewards of surviving the battle.
(If you are a roger*)… no, nothing like that. Unless heir to a secondary clarklike aspect, there is not a chance in the world of your identifying with this, although the perspective that prevents your identification is of limitless value to us. thanks
You, the Reader, are in possession of the potential to experience the world in all three ways: the Outsider way, the Predator style and manner of the Herd Member. However, you are in only one of these three, (your predominate worldview), and it is the nature and character of your predominate worldview that is what stands between you and identifying with the other two.
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* a person who grows up in the personal reality referred to as that of the Outsider, forever seeing the world around them as being, ‘…out there’. (hell, I just gave myself away with that ‘seeing the world around them’, didn’t I? lol)
* a person who grows up and develops their social skills and coping strategies in a context where the world is one of predator and prey, the here and now is pretty much all that matters, the day involves waking and eating providing for the pack and surviving
* those who find themselves in a connected world at a very early age. not ‘connected’ in the sense of ‘joined’, ‘connected’ in the sense of a part of larger group, governed by abstract Rules and Values that give purpose to the associations that their everyday world is comprised of.
* yeah, you’re totally correct…that was and will always be bad advice… however, how our little clark (in the photo) best deals with the person has everything to do with whether or not they (the throwing boy) is a roger or a scott (yeah, right…. who said that?!? who said, ‘well, he might be a clark, you never know‘ For the record we do (always) know and no, that would not be a clark. you, (the person making this statement), is obviously a roger.
(quick basics: clarks think, scotts act and rogers feel. the clark lives as if scotts live what is and rogers live as it should be (but is not necessarily the case).
About clarkscottroger
Frist.
Here are some platitudes for you, until you feel better. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Get out of your head. Breathe deeply. I see you.
Thank you… although the ‘I love cool words part of me is saying, don’t be your own worst enemy and clarks is a touch oxymor… (-onic?!?! lol nah! can’t be)
yeah… this post should serve as (an) exercise for all of use in the practice of seeing the world as the other person is experiencing it… not anything giant or heavy, but the beauty part of the Doctrine (in particular the notion of 3 worldviews) is that to attempt to appreciate another’s experience does not require or convey a sympathetic emotional response.* It is simply a recognition of the reality of another person’s reality.
This is, in fact, the biggest challenge that the Doctrine presents…to accept that another is experiencing reality differently
ya know?
It is the biggest challenge – accepting that someone may be experiencing reality differently. The next challenge is stepping into their shoes…figuring out how they relate to the world. Being able to dentify how a thing manifests for someone who’s experiencing a different reality from yours is so….incredibly enlightening.
Yup. I feel you. Exactly that.
As I was reading your post, I realized my internal reading voice sounded like Eeyore. Eeyore’s a Clark, right?
Hope you aren’t having a terribly “oh bother” day.
Once again you’re done it!
*** this just in*** just had my scottian associate (who raised 3 sons) help me understand the whole 100 Acre Wood thing (Ola was not so into the Pooh books, though she did enjoy watching Animal Planet)
Tigger: well, if I need to tell anyone about this one, you might be beyond my help
Rabbit: (from Wikipedia: Rabbit is friendly, but irritable. He fancies himself the smartest animal in the Hundred Acre Wood. He insists on doing things his way and is obsessed with rules, planning and order. He often loses his temper to others and bosses them around, but deep down, he cares a lot about his friends. In the Walt Disney films, he takes pride in his garden and hates when anyone (mainly Tigger, but also Gopher) messes it up
I thought (in my first Comment below that Winnie might be a roger, I’m going to retract that assertion, at least until I learn more about the character’s..er…character (or as we say around here. ‘how does Winnie appear to relate himself to the world around him?’_
I know the scott and the clark… that leaves you for Winnie! the star!
….rogers click here:
Winnie doesn’t strike me as a roger either. We know he’s not a scott so-o-o…. :)
Rabbit – now that’s a roger if ever I saw/heard one!
Invisibility of a clark. The experience is one of the more difficult aspects of the clarklike worldview to describe. The initial realization that you, the clark, are invisible usually makes your head swell and your face fall = you feel embarrassed. Once you realize what’s going on and if you’re a mind to, you can actually have a little fun with it. That’s not usually the case, but it can be done.
When you “know” and have accepted that you’re “invisible”, you can pretty much say/throw anything into a conversation and it won’t matter. No one’s going to hear you. For real!
did someone say something?
lol
My secondary Clark is very strong. I often feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Perhaps that’s the life of a shy Scott?
not as contradictory as it might sound… and not so much ‘a shy scott’ as a scott with a developed sense of empathy (scotts are not, as a rule into the ‘life subjective’, they are all about the objective, the concrete, the here and now…
so, yeah I know a couple of scotts with a (significant) secondary clarklike aspect…and the effect can be interpreted as being shy… it (the secondary clarklife aspect) can have the effect of causing a scott to question themselves, which is not, in and of itself, a bad thing…. except when you’re living in the reality of the predator….
now I don’t doubt your possessing the quality of shyness, but I will bet at least 1 billion dollars that, were you to say to another person (a family member or a total stranger), ‘you know, I’m really quite shy’…. they will laugh or giggle and say, ‘yeah right’ because your dominant worldview is that of a scott/predator and most normal people see only the strong, assertive, self-confident Dyanne
but those of us who know the Doctrine will believe your statement without reservation… because we know that a secondary clarklike aspect can have that effect
Makes sense. Explains quite a bit about scotts (with 2ndary clarklike aspect).
Yeah, no. Most folks, including myself would never think a scott shy:) and yet I’m recalling someone I know casually. At first meeting she was indeed “quiet”. Didn’t last long though lol