TToTurkey the Wakefield Doctrine ’embrace your secondary aspect!’

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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This week marks the start of the holiday Season, with the first of ‘the Big Three’. Thanksgiving is a holiday that mirrors the theme under-lying our own little ‘bloghop-that-Lizzi-built’. Of course, the official holiday allows people to take a day off from work, the better to celebrate gratitude. In contrast, the TToT serves to provide a place where the exercise of (deliberately) choosing to focus on the positive  aspects of life, both good and bad is supported and encouraged. While arguable more practical and directly beneficial, the TToT,  unlike our copycat holiday, does not require or otherwise promote pie ….or stuffing, or  gravy…. or, for that matter, there’s on special silverware and/or plates (“no! you can’t put those in the dishwasher!! they have to be hand washed…they were left to me by your grandmother!”). On the plus side, when the TToT is celebrated, we are not required to:

  • watch parades,
  • go to a semi-stranger relative’s house to spend the entire afternoon
  • … in over-crowded living rooms, thinking about being back at the dorm, where your new friend said she might be get back early too  after
  • …sitting at a full-on, more-forks-than-you-need, cloth-napkined dinner table where you can see (in the reflection off a mirror on the wall) that Pulp Fiction is on the un-watched TV in the living room

But…. we do have our fun here, at the TToT. You’re invited to come join us and we promise that we will not laugh and/or judge anything you might write. (Seriously! you’re reading this Post, right? you don’t hear any disapproval or anything, right? …well, not precisely, the ‘tsk tsking’  that you think you hear is totally in the best of intention.)

1) & 2)    Celebrating Thanksgiving with my family (i.e. Phyllis and Una) and gaining an increased appreciation of the role of secondary aspects!

3) (hypo-Grat Item)… my poor photography skills. The ‘cover photo’, (on the Doctrine homepage, not this page), that black shape with the triangular ears?  That’s Una in her second favorite seat, (#1: the couch in front of the picture window)…. sitting at the table, watching Phyllis prepare food. The thing about Una is, she’s like, almost, totally black. (A couple of small, beige patches above each eye, that it!). Not so easy to photograph with a phone.

4) the Friday Night Vidchat…. with Summer ending* we’re enjoying old vidchat-friends returning to the virtual clubhouse… last night, one of the founding members (and one of two original hostess) Michelle joined us for a short time… (Michelle is on the other side of the globe and so, while we start the chat at 7:30 pm EST,  it was actually early morning Saturday for Michelle….cool)

5) (damn!  almost forgot to explain the photo above! see that baster-thing? look closely…. the silver strip around the middle?   duct tape!  yep, you read that correctly! duct tape!  and therein lies our subtitle.  Phyllis is, as most of you know, a roger with a significant secondary clarklike aspect. In her rogerian world, ‘there is a time and a place for everything’, (if you) measure twice, (you need only) cut once… a stitch in time saves nine’ and….and! ‘there is proper tool for every task’. The thing of it was, 9 am on Thanksgiving morning and the baster-thing decided to develop a split in the rubber bulb part, rendering the thing non-functioning. Of course, I got in the car and drove around to the closed supermarket, the open Cumberland Farms and even the local-giant-drugstore…. no luck. Not a baster to be found. Returned home. It was Phyllis who said, after staring at the non-working kitchen tool,  ‘well, we could use some duct tape’.

6) …questions from new TToT Friends that not only deserve a response, but serve to remind us of the good things that we have at this here bloghop here!

7) in the course of last weekend’s TToT, Kimberly M (@momgosomething)  asked, (in a Comment), about the Book of Secret Rules (aka Secret Book of Rules). What she was asking was, I believe, something to the effect, ‘hey! your secret rule book, do you, like, have Cliff Notes** or what?!’   Great question, Kimberly!  The thing about the BoSR/SBoR, is that while it’s whatever you need it to be, (as you write your TToT Post), the Book of Secret Rules  is not a simple carte blanche, a ‘yeah, go ahead do whatever you want‘. While you can, in fact,   ‘do whatever you want’ in the exercise of the TToT,  the Secret Rule Book permits anything, provided  you’re able to cite the Secret Rule that applies to whatever you need…exception from….the Rules. (and yes, Kimberly, you do see something funny in my own List of 10 things. Fortunately for me, SR 81.3 clearly states, ‘when explaining the BoSR or illustrating the SB0R to newer participants, writer is allowed to count as an Item something surely is not an item….is it?’)

8) Being a semi-post-holiday, with-intimations-of-classical-music-being-appropriate allow me to share the following:

9)  hey! that certainly fun!  (about the embracing of secondary?  oh that!  well  the thing is the photo at the top of this Post is what prompted, in me, to realize that deliberately embracing/encouraging/not-wishing-it-would-go-away, our secondary aspect**** is a good thing! Wait! I already covered that in #5?  ok…. time to get out to work, I guess.

10) SR 1.3***

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 

 Your hosts

Join the Ten Things of Thankful Facebook Group



* how’s that for staying in touch with reality?

** Cliff Notes :  from the days before there was an internet… well   try to imagine: ‘youtube without the video….or the audio… just information‘, but they were written like a fast forward button was pushed (before there was such a thing as ‘fast forward’).   Example: you were assigned Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ to read over the Thanksgiving weekend, but never quite found the time? There would be a Hamlet Cliff Notes (“Mel Gibson gets like all mother-fixated, but it’s olden days so the characters mostly just stare at each other, but then some people get killed and things get moving, then most everyone gets killed. Lots of famous quotes. The End”) Like that, except the cover was always yellow and black.

*** the first and still the best of all the Secret Rules!

**** the Wakefield Doctrine: we all find ourselves in one of the three worldviews at a very early childhood age and this becomes (and remains) our predominant worldview. Our predominant worldview is the reality that we experience as we grow up. Our ‘personality types’ are simply the strategies and styles of coping that are best suited to (this particular) reality. However, we retain the potential of ‘the other two’ worldviews and often one (of the worldviews) runs a ‘close second’ to our predominant worldview, this we call our secondary aspect. The thing is, we don’t need to have a secondary aspect. It’s not a math thing, like, say ‘well we have a predominant worldview 93% and so the secondary must be 6% and the tertiary…etc. Many people do not have a significant secondary or tertiary. However, most of you, do.
(and New Readers? if you’re having trouble deciding which of the three is your predominant worldview because it seems most of the time you are one but sometimes another? That’s the indication of your secondary.  A footnote is probably not the ideal place to explain it… but, what the hell it all fun and that’s why god invented Comments!)

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clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one

Comments

  1. Jen @ Driftwood Gardens says:

    That Phyllis sure is resourceful! What a nice holiday you must have had celebrating with her and the lovely Miss Una. I am still trying to grasp the SBoR myself, but now methinks I’ve been trying too hard.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Jen

      yes, yes she is.

      I know what you mean about the BoSRs… it was easier when there were thought to be only a few Rules.* But, for myself, I enjoy the BoSR/SBoR because it is one (of) the unique things about this particular blog hop. (In my experience with other ‘hops, as a participant, while I enjoy the community, there are times when, as zoe so succinctly puts it, ‘I got nuthin’…. The Book allows me to participate without fear that I’m not ‘doing it right’ whether it is the number of Items or the categories of gratitudes.
      ya know>

      * I believe the original Rule was SR 1.3 (aka 3.1)… and that was discovered as a result of someone mentioning how grateful they were, to have gotten as far through (their) TToT list as they had, but they went on to and wonder, (in print), if it was permissible to use ‘completion of a List’ as an Item (in selfsame List). The consensus was pretty-near universal (“hell yeah! was one expression of this recognition of the common discovery of our famous Book)

  2. fangboner1 says:

    Black animals are extremely difficult to photograph. Frustrating little buggers. I think I am also getting a hang of the SBOR too.

  3. Oh, I relate to Phyllis…..a proper utensil and tool for the right task, and everything must go where it is. Getting more used to knowing people by their aspects.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      rogers are the tool users and refiners, not necessarily the tool creators… that, at least in the original form (or a given tool) is most likely in the realm of clarks

  4. Feeling really old with you having a footnote on Cliff’s Notes…

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      lol…. in an earlier draft, I think I prefaced the Cliff Notes section with something to the effect of ‘for the non-ancient bloggers among the Readers…’

      Welcome to the TToT. It is a strange but fairly wonderful place in the ‘sphere

  5. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says:

    I’m with Erin – black animals are very frustrating where photographs are concerned. Case in point: anytime I attempt photos of the Rotten Cats, I end up with furry black blobs.
    Love the duct taped baster! My Grandfather was a big supporter of the theory that most anything could be solved with a little duct tape!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      I sometimes will stand in the living room and ask, ‘where’s Una’ and she sits on the dark couch, not saying a word…. lol

  6. Denise; says:

    You are a good man Charlie Brown for trying to find a baster when none were to be had. But tell me, why is it that when anything breaks everyone screams for the duct tape? LOL

    (was Pulp Fiction on the TV? Would make a nice holiday tradtion, yes?)

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      …not in the ‘real’ world, but if I were stuck at a Thanksgiving Dinner table, I would hope to be able to watch Pulp Fiction, seeing how I know every line of dialogue, wouldn’t matter if the sound was on or not!

  7. valj2750 says:

    Duct tape is extremely useful. Not only did it save your turkey from being un-basted, thanks to Phyllis’ creative thinking, I’ve heard told of girls that have actually clad themselves in stylish duct tape and called it a dress.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Val

      …(too many smart-ass comments are running through my head… I’ll come back in a little)

      lol

  8. susanzutautas says:

    I’ve thrown out so many basters ….. next time I’ll try duct tape. My son made a wallet out of duct tape and then went on to use it for years.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      yeah… it must be some kind of secret thread/fabric underneath the silver an glue, ya think?

  9. Duct tape rules! If it can keep a car together that’S been sawed into halves, it sure should do for a turkey baster. I hope you had a delicious meal! We still have everything ahead of us tomorrow, hoping for everything to go smoothly!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Hey have a good…. event! (Take notes!*)

      * traditional Doctrine salutation (or something) meant to imply, ‘watch for the clarks and the scotts and the rogers’!

  10. lrconsiderer says:

    I would have gone for the duct tape BEFORE trying the store. Cos easier. Cos lazy.

    How many secret rules do you get to include in one post?

  11. Hurray for duct tape the resourceful people who use it!

  12. Joy Christi says:

    Oh I LOVE your homemade duct tape baster, how cool! Whatever works! We’re too lazy to even try to baste, we use butter-soaked cheesecloth on our bird, and try to remember to use a spoon to baste, but usually forget. That’s why the husband makes gravy I guess.
    Love the BoSR, I forgot to use that this week. I rushed through as it’s Sunday night and it’s been a crazy busy week. Is there any other kind?? Not until at least January, me thinks.

  13. Kristi says:

    I think my comment got lost. Anyway, I was just saying that duct tape comes in all sorts of colors and designs now. I noticed a whole display devoted to duct tape at the craft store earlier in the week. And yes, duct tape and WD-40 take care of about any problem.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      yow! talk about yer deja vu…. when I first read this comment, I thought, ‘no, I remember it coming through alright’ but I just went and checked and it was no where to be found (if it was there to begin with!)

  14. christine says:

    Great idea, Clark! Mashed potatoes and gravy will be the perfect addition to the TToT!

    I always knew that Phyllis was a smart cookie. Next time you take her photo when she’s MacGyvering a utensil, make sure she turns a bit so readers can see the WD t-shirt better. :)

    I used to curse (in my head) back in my photography days when people would bring a black dog to join the family photo. They are so difficult to photograph, especially when the family decided to wear white shirts. Ugh.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Christine

      mashed potatoes and gravy are one of my favorite food groups, but I only have them on holidays…

      photographer? tell us more….I can see you being a photographer (it being essential that everyone get in position and stay there…like that would be a problem! for you and the: children/pets/families/students)

      • christine says:

        Back when the big kids were little, I got tired of taking them to get their photos taken. I had gotten a nice camera, taken one film developing class, and decided to try taking my own photos of the kids. They turned out better than I expected. Friends saw them and asked me to take their kids’ pics. Word spread. Bryan, being a twitchy attorney, made me open an actual business in order to cover myself in case of injury. The business did well, but I finally had to close up shop when I was pregnant with #6 and the older kids’ activities started to take up more time on weeknights and weekends.

        As for everyone “staying there”…People actually liked my work because I didn’t make them stay still. I used more of a “let kids be kids” or “let adults be adults” and I’ll get some good photos for you strategy.

        And you only have mashed potatoes on holidays? Oh, they are too good to be relegated to a few times a year. They are eaten approximately once every other week or so at my house. :)

        • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

          two words: weight

          no, seriously! since what I do for a living is not exactly physically demanding, I would put on a ton of weight if I had mashed potatoes on the table more than once or twice a year! (and my schedule just seems to be totally ‘exercise everyday’ resistant!

          as to your ability to get good photos…. watch (another) scott with a group of people…. everyone is watching the scott, including the other scotts (the one that is not, at least not as mesmerized as the others? that’s your clark)

  15. dyannedillon says:

    I’m impressed with Phyllis’s quick thinking in the duct tape/baster debacle
    Thanksgiving is a great holiday where nothing is expected but food and family and/or friends. No gifts!

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