Guest Post Thursday’s Guest Post the Wakefield Doctrine (you can’t spell Wakefield Doctrine without the ‘r’ in roger!)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

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Our guest Post Writer on this week’s Thursday Guest Post Thursday is Phyllis. She is a roger, a chemist (a decidedly rogerian profession) and she runs a large environmental lab (full of rogers). Phyllis does not have a blog. She is, nevertheless,  fluent  in the principles (and application) of the Wakefield Doctrine. (She is responsible for identifying an ‘artifact’ from  the rogerian worldview, ‘ to lead from behind’).  This week,  instead of citing Posts and providing links, listing awards for writing and recognition from the blogosphere, I will tell the story  behind the above photo.

The dog is Bella. She was Phyllis’ dog, (Phyllis was alpha in our pack-of-three, which meant she was the center of Bella’s world). Bella had health problems from the very beginning, but this story is not about how Phyllis made Bella’s life all that a dog could hope for. Bella’s health failed in the last year of her life, but this story is not about how Phyllis did not give up on her dog, instead finding a way for her to have an additional year of good quality life. Rather, this story is about Bella’s last day on earth.
… one day, on a startlingly beautiful day, in early Autumn, Bella’s health took a sudden turn for the worse.  we knew that it was ‘a perfect day’.  Bella still felt good, active and walks (albeit short ones) were taken in the woods that she enjoy, she had one of her favorite meals  (Dinty Moore) for lunch, Bella was tired but clearly very happy to spend the day (a weekday, no less) with her pack. The family vet was called to the house and, eventually, we all sat in the yard, waiting for the time.

Did I mention that Phyllis was a roger?  …rogers live in, and of, a world grounded in emotion. (They can be loudly emotional, at other times, they might be quietly and intensely emotional. rogers can seem consumed by (their own) emotions and occasionally they will overwhelm those around them, such fundamental things (are these) emotions.)

That day in September, as Phyllis undertook the most difficult task that a person with a dog can be asked to do, the (emotional) atmosphere among those in our backyard was one of peace and calmness. I could feel it. Bella felt it. On her blanket she radiated that amazing sense of poise that dogs exhibit when they are among ‘their pack’.

Phyllis?

A guest post.

 

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Items on my desk make me a Roger

·        Picture of RI governor and me at previous job (reminds me how important I must be)

 

·        Picture of Mom and me

Rogers believe in pictures of families, especially dead ones.

The only thing I specifically requested from Mom’s house was her desk with all the old pictures.

I added Clark’s dead relatives to it.

 

·        Mini Cooper computer mouse

Did I mention that my sneaker laces match the color of my mini? (What a Roger).

 

·        Picture of Ola (First Dog)

 

·        Picture of Bella (My Rogerian Dog)

 

·        Coffee cup with Una photos (not used for coffee – just for decoration)

 

·        Collage of Clark, Bella and me

 

·        Lots of mounds of paper (to make me look important)

 

Redemption (also known as exhibiting my Clark-like attributes)

AKA

I IRON CLARK’S SHIRTS!!!!!!

 

  • For the past year, I have ironed Clark’s shirts and it brings me the biggest chuckle.
  • If there was a category: most unlikely to iron shirts, I would be top of the list. And yet, I iron Clark’s shirts.
  • For those who believe in miracles, very miraculous.
  • My mom taught me and my sister how to iron. She was a Roger, and we also learned how to set a table for 12 courses.
  • I grew up thinking that “I will NEVER EVER be subservient to anyone. I will never clean, cook, and definitely not iron.”
  • Yet I iron Clark’s shirts.
  • When we first became a couple, in the fall of 1982, Clark asked “Will you iron my shirts?” I said “No, thank you”
  • Thirty years go by, and my Mom gets sick and dies.
  •  I get her iron – deluxe model.
  • I find I miss her a lot. One day, out of grief, I start to iron – makes me smile each and every time.  

IMAG0229  Phyllis

Una Una

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clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one

Comments

  1. zoebyrd says:

    Phyllis,
    What a lovely post. My rogerian second FEELS every one of those qualifiers.

    Must admit….I ironed Tseerings shirts….he didnt care about such things but somehow I thought it helped him fit in easier. …roger indeed.

    clark,
    love that Bella story.

  2. phyllis says:

    Thanks Zoe
    I think for me that ironing shirts is the ultimate “kindness”. We are very fortunate.

  3. Kristi says:

    “Rogers believe in pictures of families, especially dead ones.” I know I’m a roger, but that really line really resonated with me. I’ve even been known to collect old photos of people who I didn’t even know were related! http://www.thankfulme.net/2013/04/friday-family-history-grandma-whitehead.html

  4. phyllis says:

    Kristi,
    That was a great link.

  5. Phyllis has a Mini. I already love her. :) I want a Countryman. Actually, I have no idea if it’s a clark thing, but I’m into cars. I like knowing what’s new, what’s good, what’s small and gas-efficient. Though I drive a nine-year old car, I still dream about having a shiny new one. But then I don’t want a shiny new one because I don’t wanna pay for it. HA!
    Very interesting post. I look around my house and you have to go to the back room, near the fireplace, there’s a wedding photo of husby and I – and a bad one at that, lol.
    Otherwise, I have paintings everywhere. Paintings I did once upon a time of turtles, flowers, an abstract self-portrait, and a portrait of two ladies having coffee – that a friend gave to me. Yet, I’m a photographer, too.

  6. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    I wonder if you have to be a roger to discern that the focal point of Phyllis’ post was not Clark, dogs, or pictures. It was the iron. It is a physical representation of her mom, and to iron is therefore to pay homage to her. She has established a personal tradition.
    You go, girl.

  7. Denise says:

    This post. Contrapuntal or counterpoint(al) [That last one – qualify as a rogerian espression?:)]
    Today, a clark illiciting tears from me, a roger providing laughter for me. Almost sounds like it should be the other way round….

    Clark. Thank you for sharing Bella’s last day. There isn’t anything I can say except that the 3 of you were where you were supposed to be and that Bella left the earth impeccably.

    Phyllis, the emotional impact of “Thirty years go by, and my Mom gets sick and dies. I get her iron – deluxe model.” Man. So hit me as incredibly poignant. Beautiful. It is a wonderful way to honor your mother. A wonderful way in which to “be with her”.

    I thoroughly enjoyed your sharing of the rogerian worldview. Very enlightening!

  8. clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

    too bad the photo of ‘Phyllis and the Governor’ doesn’t show better, it is rather cool. The two are standing in the lab, next to each other, totally ignoring each other… lol I could see why the idea of the photo appealed to someone, but the result was…’who’s the tall doofus who is obviously not of the herd?’

  9. Molly Molly M. says:

    It is amazing to me what grief can bring us to do and enjoy.

  10. Even though I am a Roger to an extent, I so will not iron Kevin’s clothes. I refuse to learn, so that at the very least this is not one more chore to add to my ever growing list! So, I tip my hat to Phyllis for this and so much more! Have a wonderful weekend, Clark :)

  11. dyannedillon says:

    ATTEMPT #3
    I must be a Scott with Roger rising, because I’m all about tradition and old pictures and such, too.
    I’m completely green with envy over your car, Phyllis.
    My mother ironed because she had to and hated it. I don’t iron because I don’t want to. I will throw something back in the dryer to avoid it. My husband learned early in our marriage that I was really bad at ironing (because I didn’t WANT to be good at it), so he irons everything that has to be ironed, meaning shirts for himself and our son. When shopping, I look at the care label. If “iron” is anywhere on it, I don’t buy it.
    Love the picture of you with Bella. What a touching story.
    And now I know who eats Dinty Moore.

  12. Lol! Glad to read about the pictures, especially!! Have a fair share on display too!

  13. Ironing reminds me of my mom too. She would sprinkle the clothes with water dispensed from a coke bottle with a sprinkling stopper. We had some great conversations while she ironed (and I lazed about). You put such a smile on MY face with this one!

  14. christine says:

    Phyllis, this is wonderful. It is so nice to be hearing from you and getting to know you better. Clark isn’t exactly forthcoming with information.
    I, like Dyanne, must have a secondary roger worldview. That line “Rogers believe in pictures of families, especially dead ones” is perfect. My husband’s grandma gave us all sorts of tin photos from the early 1900s, knowing I would love them. One of my favorite days with my grandma was going through her suitcase full of old photos. My dresser is covered with photos of dead people.

    But as much as I related to you and the photos, the ironing got to me more. My grandma ( same one with the suitcase full of photos) is a meticulous ironer. Growing up, she would come to our house and iron all of our clothes. She once burned a hole in my track uniform, since track uniforms aren’t supposed to be ironed. I iron my husband’s work clothes every night, and I think of my grandma when I do. Can’t say I’ll ever iron one of my kid’s soccer uniforms, but I think of her when I do iron.

    The story of how you came to iron Clark’s shirts is beautiful.

  15. Sarah says:

    There we go. That’s the Roger–the emotional bit. Have you ever seen it in me before? :)
    And family pics. I have a whole wall.

  16. Pattie says:

    I have no clue what I am; roger clark or scott. I have my daughters first 5 years beautifully photographed, neatly framed, and stacked on a shelf in a closet. The rest of her life is stuffed into shoe boxes or haphazardly glued into scrap books. And she is an only child.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      hmmm…
      Readers? any thoughts?

      There are (additional questions and quizs and “hey! when you are in the following situation what is the first thing you…”) ways to help you discover your predominant worldview. But, it will become evident if you like the Doctrine. and remember, you can’t get it wrong and you can’t break it!

      Ok Readers!! I’ve eliminated one (of the three types)… not certain, but have an idea..

  17. phyllis says:

    It is always fun to do something that you used to “disapprove” of, isn’t it?

Trackbacks

  1. […] I am grateful this week to my wife Phyllis for writing our Guest Post Thursday Guest Post this week…very nice work, quite rogerian  (the rogerian weeks are coming to be my favorite of the three […]

  2. […] Almost immediately, I slowed down (seems I was a bit hungry) and decided to cut the few pieces I’d already cut into yet smaller pieces.  I did this….slowly. Deliberately. Suddenly my thoughts were totally of my Dad. I remembered how, in his later years, he would cut his meat – precisely, in small, bite size pieces. Immediately, I made the concious decision to cut the entire tiny steak before me in this same manner. It felt weird, but not.  It made me think of Phyllis and her guest post at the Wakefield Doctrine’s Guest Post Thursday’s Guest Post. […]

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