Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
“…why no! not anyone I would recognize.”
It’s funny how groups form, (sometimes whether you intended to become a part of it or not), and when they do, it’s funny about how powerful the forces affecting the members of the group are, (whether you ‘know better than to go along or not’), and even when you think that you can stand off to the side, membership in a group or a family or team or club or a bloghop or any other, voluntarily joined collection of people with a common interest invariably makes (a part) of you become their’s and (a part) of them becomes yours. Funny. I suspect that most of you out there are rather quite aware of this thing, for a couple of reasons: a) you have gender-related predisposition to being more sensitive to the emotional side of life and 2) all this is fairly obvious. But, …but! one of the benefits of belonging to a group is that members (ha ha) are allowed leeway in exploring and learning things that, if done elsewhere, might entail an outcome that would be less…. positive.
So it is with the TToT. I offer myself as an example of the last person who would be expected to join a group like this. (lol yes… for a couple of you, that was a ‘free one’… go ahead, I’ll wait. I could name names (as to who is reacting to that last phrase, ‘a group like this’….) but that would not be fair, and might be a little creepy to anyone not familiar with the Wakefield Doctrine.) Nevertheless, I am a member of this here group here. And, with today’s Post, I am taking advantage of the benefits afforded members of the group and discharging my responsibility, as a member of this group. I suspect I will try to return to this theme, ‘the secret costs and often-over-looked-and-underestimated-value’ of belonging to a group, a little bit later, but I need to throw some of my co-hosts off my rhetorical trail. The sight and smell of a tired wildebeest can be incredibly powerful for people who conform to one of the three worldviews (of the Wakefield Doctrine).
I am not a sociologist (although I am willing to try to play one here in the blogosphere) and I am not a warm, sensitive, touchy-feely, roger and yet I will only feel like I have succeeded with this Post if I evoke an obviously emotional response from a Reader and I am not a skilled writer, (I don’t say that with a false modesty/look for compensatory compliments), instead I will continue with this Post.
I am one who enjoys this medium1 and, since (and) despite what non-bloggers might choose to think, writing a blog is a very, very social activity2,3. While many of us focus on life in general, many of us write topic-specific blogs. Everything from book reviews to cooking tips, child rearing1 and pretty much everything and anything. But you all know that! And, I am willing to wager that a good percentage of you are beginning to say to yourselfs, “ah! there’s his tricky List beginning to appear! I knew that he would eventually do something like that“. Now those of us at the Wakefield Doctrine take a certain pride in the ability to predict the thoughts of others.4
Ok, in all fairness to my many Reader’s I was beginning to have rather high hopes of pulling off a Post today that would be: funny, challenging and yet still convey the strong feelings I have for Lizzi and her band of hostinae. I think where I went wrong was to try and tie in the Wakefield Doctrine’s uncanny ability to allow a person to not just know more about the other person (than they know about themselves) but to also predict the reactions, responses and behavior of another person to future events. (you know, like I did with Christine a little earlier…and as I was about to with our new Hostettes, Sandy and Lisa.. alas I must wait until another time, after I have covered my head with the blanket of obscurity and been polite and innocuous for a sufficient period of time.)
Lizzi: hey! all that stuff about the totally un-earned value to membership in a group? I was talking about you and this here bloghop that you created. (there’s a famous saying, a favorite of all college students and other intellectual-wannabes…. “when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you” well I admire your courage and strength, but (totally not implied in my famous quote), I believe that when your share something painful with a group, you are automatically sharing in the collective strength of (that) group. Obvious to most Readers, but from the Doctrine perspective, sometimes clarks need to be reminded that we must (sometimes) force ourselves to accept the good along with the bad.
(…. I am grateful to this group and anything else that may be required to bring my grat list to 10 Items which I think is 5 more, so I will say: good health (as reasonably as reasonable), the Wakefield Doctrine (well, duh!), the Vid Chats (totally the coolest thing available on the internet), and to Cyndi and Denise for the conversation on the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Drive Call-in last night.
About clarkscottroger
first on a sunday is soooo not gratifying to me…why is that?
No challenge to it, love – we were all asleep.
I hear tell that you NEVER sleep?
Except in vidchat, right?
well, yeah, but that goes without sayin’.
I just wrote a new all-kinds-of-ranty post (obviously not ttot driven)… I was looking instead to join a sun am chat and went all renegade when it wasn’t here … the one sunday I got this… oh well… that’s what ya get for trying to belong to a group, eh?
damnit
I will only say, I really would have liked to have had made a different set of decisions than the set I did as the cost (to me) in missing the vidchat is out of proportion, (due to my clarklike worldview), the a normal person’s reaction to a disappointment.
ya know?
geez that doesn’t sound good you okay? I was just being f****** snarky.
Zoe! I assumed Michelle invited you! I am so sorry I did not send you an invite. Michelle and I were rather lonely, the roger and clark, with no others to enhance the Sunday Morning Vid Brunch. You were missed:)
I suspect we all need to have that unwritten list of who to call when you know who, the host who got this thing going in the first place, who will remain unnamed, who can’t get out of this one (Clark) doesn’t send out the first invite. What a bad clark I was today. Won’t happen again, promise.
no need to apologize…my connections are on the fritz so who knows… anyway I have to watch my sarcasm … I forget there is no inflection and too much interpretation in commenting… no big deal… really…all good…***dammit Clark, stop analyzing my response!
lol ( the implied compliment in your asteriodal conclusion) makes me feel better than I deserve to feel.
as I was saying to Lizzi… the true semi-grail of the blogosphere is the capability to italicize Comments!
*HA!
**a little roger just for you…
***hang on a second while I stuff him back in where he belongs…
” Now those of us at the Wakefield Doctrine take a certain pride in the ability to predict the thoughts of others.4″ once again I am mystified. But that is great! How do you do that?
jnyyyyyeyyyys7sy
jin ay
by being able to see the world as the other person is experiencing it. the Doctrine says that if we understand how a person relates themselves to the world around them, then we can put ourselves in a position of coming to the same conclusion, having the same reaction to, feeling the same way to a situation/event that has not yet happened.
Nothing too mysterious just requires that you believe that reality is, on a certain level, personal for all of us.
You don’t have to play polite and innocuous with this girl, Clark. Game on! :)
Lisa
(I would normally try to go all humble and self-effacing at this point, but you’re right! the hell with ‘the oh-clark-we-all-love-how-eccentric-and-careful-about-not-offending-anyone’ you are you are such a credit to your people.)
but, first I need to go read the Post again… (I know! I know! I wrote the frickin thing!! who the hell writes a Post and can’t remember what they wrote 3 hours later?? how the hell do I expect to seduce the new hostinae with the lure of insight and empathy for the people I hold in esteem (and, …and! a level of esteem that were this any other forum and the internet, it would be totally inappropriate).
I have to do that all the time. All. The. Time. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast most days by the time I get to lunch!
And this just cracked me up.
Those call-ins are definitely my speed. :) Had fun chatting about all things Doctrine and…I always come away with a sense of a deeper understanding of other humans and – GASP! – myself. :P
It was a great call Cyndi. I echo your thoughts. Very self reinforcing.
“Seeing a definitely directed emotional outreach, detailing Deep Feels and responding suitably, emotionally, with catch in throat”
(you saw that Studio C vid in K2’s post last week, right?)
Lizzi
damn! no I didn’t! Should I have? (or am I in line for a ‘oh-the-Doctrine-is-so- (fill in the blank) )
Makes sense of my comment. unless you know the show in question (I didn’t, and for the first 30 seconds I HATED it, but then I ‘got’ it, and it was rather good)
Ha! Good reference to K2’s video. It is something that took a second to “get”.
THANK YOU! I knew someone had to get it! *sigh*
hahahaha I just got the K2 reference… very good lizzi
GOOD! I’m so glad you got it. I was beginning to worry…
Studio C has a way of growing on one, doesn’t it? Glad you enjoyed the clip! Clark, you can watch it here: http://youtu.be/q6sMnQsv7Hk
I know what you mean. And through two weeks of some seriously stressful times, thinking about sharing what I’m thankful for has definitely done a lot to pull me through and give me some perspective. I missed you guys Friday BUT the boy needed me more, and that is the one disadvantage to blogging. Real life.
Jen
…I was saying to someone (or maybe it was a comment) then again, it might have been a Reply to a comment…. but the thing about the Friday chat that is becoming apparent is that, like any good house party, it varies with the people attending and, therefore is available for us when the opportunity is there… (I just read this and realize that while I know what I meant to say, I kinda lost the thread)…lol
Hey Jen! we’ll be there Friday nights will be happy to see you when you can drop in… (better)
When I started blogging, I had no idea how social of an activity it is. A wonderful surprise it has been!
Your comments about being in a group are very true, and it’s especially “funny” when the group consists of a wide variety of kinds of people. My book club is very much a part of me, even though it is made up of people I never would have guessed could be my close friends. And this TToT/blog group? Unbelievably diverse, yet such a great group of which to be a part.
christine
yeah… very surprised and very cool, this group (TToT and others). In fact, we were talking Friday about the diff/sim between online relationships and RL relationships (yeah, I know! on a Friday Night vid chat a serious topic!) and I said something to the effect that, since friends are choices (as opposed to the families were are born with), and they (the friendships) happen when we encounter people with certain characteristics, consider the math! In the real world I probably meet/interact with not more than 100 people. On the internet, that number is at least an order of magnitude greater… so it shouldn’t be surprising that I find people who are interesting and (compatible) and therefore the number of friends can be that much greater in the virtual world.
I agree that blogging does have a way of connecting people. I’ve often thought about my friends I have made through blogging–individuals who live in other states and countries, but whose first names are known to my family. I think about their challenges, pray for them during their struggles, laugh aloud at their funny quips, and smile at their happy moments. Like you, I’m happy to be part of this TToT group.
Wha-hoo to blogging and being PART of a group* like TToT. I’m bummed that I missed vid chat on Friday night – ended up on another phone call with a friend and we talked for two hours and when I tuned into vidchat, you were all gone. Sigh. Hope to make it this week.
I’m very curious about the secret costs of belonging to a group and now wonder how you’re trying to throw us off of your scent. Sniff sniff. I think I picked up a slight scent…hm, wait maybe that’s my coffee? No it’s most definitely a wildebeast.
*funkily mixed together bunch of mostly Clarks that we are because it is beyond gratifying and wonderful and thankful and all that good stuff.
It is amazing to think of how the internet and blogging have connected people all over the world. What would we do without it now?
You want to evoke an emotional response from a reader? Here’s one: that Live Traffic Feed kind of creeps me out.
Isn’t it funny how something as solitary as sitting down at a computer to write a blog post can turn into such a fun social event? I LURRRRVE the socialness (yes, I made that up) of the TToT!
Oooh I’m with Dyanne…hate that!
yeah, but it’s such harmless fun!!
(… you’re not going to wear that today, are you)
too late already strapped the yak traks on to the doc martins and a big furry hat and off I went…