thank god that’s over! the Wakefield Doctrine (“it’s totally not true that clarks experience distress during major holidays…. bitch”)

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)


You know how I just got through writing how Christmas is such a clarklike holiday? And how we said that, because clarks are all kinds of self-less and giving and such, that we do Christmas better’n the other two, at least in the old-school sense of the word?  It’s true. clarks do totally rock the Christmas spirit. So, why the developing un-ease as the Day itself is upon us? (Many clarks report a sense of: tiredness, reduced excitement, blunted affect, irritability, anogasmia, a desire to take up smoking cigarettes just to have an excuse to step outside on the porch, and totally be willing to be the one to ‘drive to the store for a couple of items that are needed for Dinner’.)

If you feel that way today or expect to feel that way today*, then we have reassuring news for you. It’s them, it’s not you!

The Christmas Holiday, like so many of the other holidays, (and to be honest, like much of life itself), has a way of being commandeered by one (or both) of the other two personality types.

  1. scotts  so many people, so many presents, so many bright lights and things that move and show unmistakable signs of delicious life!  (picture if you will, a lion cub taken from the pack just a season before maturity. the cub has the instinctual and learned survival skills, practiced as much as is possible from a season of play with the other cubs. let the cub skip a few meals and then put him/her in an empty basement and after a day of pumping the aroma of a nice roast beef, take a bushel of hamsters and gerbils and dump them down the laundry chute.**  …Merry Christmas Simba!
  2. rogers  there are so many memories that need to be created…no time for frivolity!  don’t you see the scene?!?!  it’s a happy (and grateful), appreciative (and grateful) festive day full of (grateful) family members coming together to enjoy the holiday! so don’t fuck it up with your moodiness and oh-look-I-want-to-be-alone strangeness! this is a once in a year opportunity to come together in a joyous celebration of the family and tradition (well, then…do it outside, ok?)

We kid the rogers and scotts. No, we do!  But we love them as well (as we are able).  New Readers? Well, there are these three ways of experiencing the world and you do it one of the three ways. The Doctrine says that the nature of the way that you see the world is your personality type. OK?  We don’t need to know your likes and dislikes and pet peeves and such. All we need to do (notice we didn’t say, ‘need to know from you‘?) is correctly infer how you relate yourself to the world around you. After that everything else sorta takes care of itself. The three ways to ‘relate yourself to the world around you’ are:

  1. as an Outsider. from as far back as you can remember (and it’s pretty far back), you have looked at the people in your life and wondered  where you dropped the ball, what you missed learning about how to be the way they clearly are…together and, (from this early early time in your life), you have resolved to learn what they seem to already know, all while trying not to be identified as a person who was left out… Merry Christmas  clarks!
  2. as a Predator. you wonder why some people think, “oh what an unkind thing to say, calling that nice girl a Predator“, you don’t give it a second thought and you know why? (no, we know that you don’t know why, because you don’t give a shit about the why’s and the ‘oh-if-only-I-knew-more‘), because you are too busy living…living a life that is full of threats and opportunity, fun and danger, excitement and the occasional quiet moments of sleep, you know what you are… you’re alive!!!!  Merry Christmas  scotts
  3. as a Member of the Herd. and no, you don’t walk around thinking I am a Member of the Herd, we get that. What you do is live a life that is full of potential and hard work, enjoying some pleasures but only when earned, people all around you who you can help live a better life….a Right Way and a universe that was designed to be understood and shared with the future generations, both real and imagined… Merry Christmas rogers

New Readers? Still with us?  Good. So you have one of these as your predominant worldview, (the character of your personal reality), but you never lose the capacity to experience the world as do the other two. So don’t be surprised if you get confused at first seeing in yourself  one personality type and then at times another. That just means you have a significant secondary (or tertiary) aspect. Don’t worry about that now. This is the fun and carefree phase of learning the Wakefield Doctrine. The rest comes later.

To all the DownSprings and Friends of the Doctrine and Readers and such,  thank you for stopping by! Do have the best, dominant worldview-appropriate, day possible today.


(a clark with (a) significant secondary scottian and minimal tertiary rogerian aspects)


*when it comes to emotional response, clarks see no reason to leave them to the last-minute! get ahead of that worry, that concern that fear!! don’t wait!  be prepared!!

** this is a feature in many old, old houses where the washing machine was in the cellar, an opening in the wall of the bathroom closet that was directly above the laundry area… go ahead and put a half full laundry basket for the gerbils to land in… give ’em a better shot at getting away


clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one


  1. Cool title man. Post, to the point. Nothing more to say.

  2. Katia says:

    “Many clarks report a sense of: tiredness, reduced excitement, blunted affect, irritability, anogasmia, a desire to take up smoking cigarettes just to have an excuse to step outside on the porch, and totally be willing to be the one to ‘drive to the store for a couple of items that are needed for Dinner.)” – too funny! And relatable. And it must be all the giving. :-) Giving gives but it also takes a lot out of Clarks, right?

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      precisely my dear Katia, and, paradoxically it is the pleasure and enjoyment of everyone that does something to us… not bad or good, but perhaps it is the echo of our worldview in contrast to the worldviews of the other two.

      hey, can’t very well be selfless unless you lose your self? lol

      but, having said that, the pleasure is, in fact, their (the children, the family, our spice*) and that’s the part (of our experience as clarks) that the Doctrine offers something…new for us, not them

      *plural of spouse, not, unfortunately a real word

    • *only just read this properly* Anogasmia? Really? Good grief!

  3. Jin-nay! jinnnay. It beats some of my other… um…”nicknames”. Sure, I am jinnnnnnnnay, The Predator, Merry Christmas. Do you want some earrings? They come with STRINGS ATTACHED. What I mean by this I have no idea, xoxox jean scott. Who actually is a scott with some Viking in there from what I have heard, I love it when Christmas falls on Woden’s day. I mean Wednesday! oops
    xox jny

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      2014 is so going to be a fun (and strange*) year for us here at everyone’s favorite, secret personality theory!

      * strange in the good (ok! so we don’t tell anyone!) not bad (oh man! don’t tell anyone!) way….’kay?

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      Hey Jin-nay!!!

      zoe sez you have a blog. I suspect I know it having visited it once (..I’m a clark, of course I would sorta know!) in any event… be a dear an tell everyone in the audience the name of you blog and how they can get there! (yer right, I may have a strong secondary scottian aspect, but I will never* be mistaken for a scott)

      * except for those special times (that all clarks know of), but then no one would see me coming

  4. zoe says:

    Merry christmas clark and denise and jean and phyllis and…
    I pulled the ultimate clark last night and forgot to bring the main dish and had to go back 45 min to get it! Unconscious I swear!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      thank god for our unconscious! lol we would so get along better with the world if they just came in here, rather than insist that we go out there!

      • zoe says:

        So true…in such brain overload can’t wait to get home and move back into my head….scottie has been carrying the load for the past few hours…trying to keep roger in!

        • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


          (…see above comment)


          • zoe says:

            Great day but whew.

            • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


              ..we will expect a full accounting (Doctrinistically-speaking, of course)

              • zoe says:

                just posted but a bit drooling and lacking doctrinistic refferential material I’m afraid…zzzzzzzzzzz

                • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


                  lol have read it and you have earned the rest (slumped into a half-crouch, back supported by wall, drinking warm beverage from a beat-up cup), back from the front lines… exaggerate me? nah

                  (I think your little friend Jean is going to be a good addition to the crowd ’round these parts… if we can keep up!)

                  • zoe says:

                    Yeah…good luck with that keepin up thing! Lol ***a bit maniacally***

                    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


                      lol (not surprisingly) I would have gone for the ‘call’ of scott on the basis of the photo very much the look, ( you’re familiar with this next… “so zoe, tell me more about your friend!”) lol… ( I have said/written that I spent a lot of grade school years in the Principle’s Office… not so much for what I did, but for what I got my scott to do… (didn’t have the political acumen to distance myself from the scott when caught, so I was in as much trouble.) (What frickin kind of reality does it take to be a 7 year old child who recognizes that he will never get the other kids to do what he says, but can convince the alpha child to do what he wants… of course, scotts are all big on doing shit, not so much on the thinking up the plans… clarks! I assume that, at that stage of life, gender was not a significant factor and you would have had your own scott to extend your influence?)

    • Denise says:

      And to you too Zoe:)
      Man, some clarks will go to any lengths for attention, eh? LOL

      • zoe says:

        Like breathing…didn’t we all have a scott in the pocket? I did my time in the office for sure.cripe my best bud and I got expelled from our Brownie troop and my mother was the troop leader! Don’t know if that says more about my mother or me??! Lol.

  5. jasteck says:

    I can so relate to your post. We celebrated last night. My family members are so wonderful and we had a great time. Now if I could just keep the celebration time down to a level that my clarkness could handle. :)

  6. Giving is good – it gives back to us. We feed off it even as it tires us :D

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      christmas crypticism: ‘we feed off of it, true, the problem is that we forget that it is ours originally, and that we need not continue to pay for something that we have freely given’

      yo ho ho…. ! Merry Christmas!