Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
The hardest …most difficult ...’forced-by-the-good-to-endure-the-bad’ nearly impossible choice I ever made was…
When in that special place that only clarks know, ( you* know…a place where there is no light (because that would be for real people) and there are no sounds (why the fuck do you think you need sounds?! you know what they’re saying), where there is no room (what do you need room for?) and there simply is no place to turn (don’t you remember? you’ve tried everything, where the farther in you go the better, the more ‘at-least-this-is-where-I-always-come-back-to’) then the decision being referenced in this week’s FTSF bloghop today would/could/must/can only be:
….to try again, despite what (nearly) everything in my head is/was/will be saying about: “they’re laughing at you”, “you look foolish”, “you’re being tolerated, only because they are nice” (or worst of all), “here you go again…aren’t you ever going to change?”
Thanks to the ‘too-sexy-for-a-mommy-blog’ crew: Janine and Kate and Stephanie and Kristi
*unless you are, right now, thinking, ‘oh that clever fellow, what tricks is he trying now!’ or ‘fuckin clark!! yeah!! whatcha got??!? ‘ …you will never, (and you should be grateful), know this place.
About clarkscottroger
Ack.
That said, aren’t we all still here, and no New Sets Of People rendered necessary yet.
In fact (don’t tell anyone) there are people in my Set I could not nor would not replace. Ever. So the option is closed from now on for me. Which means when in that dark place, it is necessary to keep going.
Which might just be personal growth :)
Lizzi
…it changes, albeit very slowly and incrementalistically but, as we all (clarks) we under-estimate it at our extreme peril…because, the nature of that place is true helper skelter…black is white, good is bad, hope becomes despair.
(note to clarks: if you have gotten this far and, upon reading the reference to ‘despair’ and you become excited, thinking to yourself: ‘yeah!! there’s a secret power ring!! pick it up!! pick it up!!!’ then we totally want to hear from you! lol seriously)
True, so it’s about being attuned to the warning signs of ‘going there’ and having a strategy to pull ourselves out before we become immersed.
Lizzi
yeah… and you want to hear how much worse it can be?!? nah, you’re a clark… you know the ‘even worse’ aspect to the advice in your Comment
That is an awful place. Sometimes I keep going (blogging) and other times I never return to try “it” again. I try not to look back at the early things I wrote (when I kept coming back) because it makes it even harder.
Jean
yes, it is that… and it is… changing. only a teensy bit but change nevertheless
Clark, I am so with you on trying again. Believe me growing up all I heard was “If you make a mistake, get back on that proverbial horse and try again until you succeed!” So, I couldn’t agree more and have done my fair share of this over the years and am so with you this and then some! Thanks as always for linking up and hope you are having great Friday so far!! :)
Janine
that is encouraging to hear…and yes, I watch the amount of effort (and, more importantly) the success of your efforts here (in the wonderland) and take heart.
Ah that fuckin’ dark place. Trying again is big and brave. And anybody who laughs at it is a jerk. Or a Roger. Glad you keep coming back because you are, indeed, a clever fellow for sure.
Kristi
very good, (not just that I know your predominant (worldview)) but because of your secondary aspect
…cool
A good performer knows that no matter what you do, there will be someone that doesn’t enjoy it. The best you can hope for is that the majority will. That’s where the fine tuning comes in. You’ve obviously got your presentation down to a fine art. Either that, or you’re the best at developing a cult following I’ve ever seen! :) I only wish I had more time here. That being said, I ‘ve got to get to work. Keep pushing, my friend. Remember the old sports adage, “A Winner never quits, and a Quitter never wins.” You’re doing superb!
I sensed a little Dr. Seuss in this post. :-)
Kate
(damn! I had a faux Seuss rhyme all set in my head, I sat do to type and all…..)
lol
This- “to try again, despite what (nearly) everything in my head is/was/will be saying about: “they’re laughing at you”, “you look foolish”, “you’re being tolerated, only because they are nice” (or worst of all), “here you go again…aren’t you ever going to change?””
God, how I relate to that. When you figure out how to turn that off, will you let me know please?
Ya gotta brazen it out, act like it doesn’t matter and you don’t give two fucks whether they care for you or not, or whether they laugh, and you’ll find that they are (nine times out of ten) so blown away by your self-confidence they all love you, and then you laugh on the inside because only you know the truth.
You gotta own the room.
Lizzi
I know what you mean…
(oh, alright I won’t be coy in the last Comment) the worse part is that there is a point, in the process when we are being pulled into a place that not only is incredibly awful and toxic and bad for us…(but it is actually dangerous) where we (by ‘we’ I should limit this to ‘me’) there is a point to where I am no longer being pulled, I am walking on my own…
Stephanie
be glad to (though I suspect it will be a change, rather than an on/off thing) not surprisingly a huge part of this here blog here is devoted to finding that answer