Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)
Two things today. One for the New (or casual) Reader and one for the DownSprings*
Guests first! Here is a reprint Post
- constructive and useful insights
- information that will help you change your life for the better
- a secret club that has it very own branded line of clothing
- a system of personality that will allow you and your friend to feel totally superior to, like, everyone else
- the answer to your worst nightmare
- the 411 on Pope Alexander VI
- did we mention that Pope Alexander VI was really a Borgia? (and such a roger!)
- …and fun
So, what’s with the Pope and his Treaty of Torteas? (you mean the Borgias? the cool, scheme-to-takeover-the-world, even though at that time the world was about the size of “Michigan’; family of amped-up rogers?) Yes, we mean that Pope and that Treaty. The reason we need to bring in the papacy on this is that we are starting to get people sending in photos of the Wakefield Doctrine hat (on assorted damn heads). This is a good thing, and if we believe in anything, we believe in taking what is ours. Go back a couple of days in the Posts, you will see that we (have decided) that the Wakefield Doctrine is claiming rights to the whole world. (You rogers out there?, sitting there smoking a pipe or crocheting the pictorial history of your family into the 100 square yard quilt that you plan to bring to the next family reunion, to you rogers we say, “yeah, well we have a Pope backing our move! A Pope who is not only in the history books, but was the head of a global religion, if that were not enough credentials for you people, this Pope’s real last name was Borgia“. (boo ya!) But don’t believe me, here is a reference from Wikipedia that is the basis of our claim:
The first conquests were made by the Spanish and the Portuguese. In the 1494 Treaty of Tordesillas, ratified by the Pope, these two kingdoms divided the entire non-European world between themselves, with a line drawn through South America. Based on this Treaty, and the claims by Spanish explorer Vasco Núñez de Balboa to all lands touching the Pacific Ocean.(…think of Pope Alexander VI here as the Ray Kroc of the ‘land grant’ biz)
So to get all simplified and scottian about this thing, just send us a photo of you and your Wakefield Doctrine hat (on your damn head) in front of a recognizable landmark, geographical feature, local shopping mall, whatever, and we will give you ownership of that there place there (in your photo).
Mel! dude! this “Michigan”? all yours buddy… Joanne? District of Columbia? yours if you want it! Jason? the West Coast has not, I repeat, not been claimed yet! Yours for a photo…Ronin! send us the photo and “ole Man River” he be yours, eh? And from the looks of the photos leading this Post, our own DS#1 is down in FLA sayin, ” You want at that Fountain of Youth, binyons? ya gotta talk to me!” (Hey, anyone looking to stock up on elderly Canadians…dial DS1-555-1212.)
Come on Progenitors, DownSprings and/or Readers, is there a part of the world, that you been hankerin for? Maybe as small as your own neighborhood or perhaps something in a medium-sized continent. The Wakefield Doctrine can make it yours by Right of Hat.
Hey, you don’t have to spell your name de Gama or Cortez to get in on this sweet deal! Send us a photo of your hat and whatever is behind it is yours.*
Let’s get this thing goin!
*indigenous peoples, chattel, trademarks and other rights may be subject to some….negotiations…the Wakefield Doctrine guarantees all rights to those people, places and things possessing of and by virtue of common law interpretation as being clarklike, scottian and/or rogerian. Hey, all Cortez had was a letter from the Pope in a language the locals couldn’t read…and a bunch of guys on horses with coffee grinders on their damn heads!
Hey! worker bees! this way to the scenaria and question mill, yo I have you started with number 1. I will add to it as we go… you send in a scenario on a Comment (you can supply the ‘answers’ but that is not the important thing today… getting the ‘set-ups’ for our Assessment Questions is the main thing today. Any questions? well write the frickin things down!
- you are in class and your best friend is looking at the person next to them (your friend)’s test paper. you look up and notice that the teacher is about to ‘catch your friend cheating. you immediately: a)stand up and ask to be excused to go to the bathroom, b) start laughing in a very loud voice or c) do nothing, you need an ‘A’ on this test or you won’t get in to Medical School
- you are out on a double date with your bff and
- (from Christine): I have one. True story.Scenario: Sitting in a “restaurant” (Step above fast food. Order at counter, but some workers roaming the place asking if you want refills or more breadsticks.) alone, you notice some thug-looking teenagers taking turns stealing tips off of tables. What do you do? a) stand up and tell them to put all the stolen money back b)tell the counter person that, while you might not be 100% certain, you are pretty sure there are people in the restaurant stealing tips c) call 911 on your cell phone (speed dial) and return to enjoying your meal
*DownSpring the preferred term for the person who has learned the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine to the point of being able to extrapolate from the current state of knowledge and make new discoveries and such, ya know what I mean?