it’s the first Finish annual The disjointed Sentence and incomplete thought Friday at (yes, we do have to put our name on it) the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)


The best fourth of July I had was…

…will be,

providing I don’t: a) get hit by a meteor (or a metaphor, in a manner of speaking), b) find myself locked in a endless loop of a memory of a past deed (something I have observed in the very old, there are few more horrifying forms of slow death than this, c) have a stroke (as did the friend of a friend did a couple of weeks ago…leaving an otherwise healthy person with the goal of learning how to swallow food, d) forget that all of what I have is a function of what I do, not what I think I might do, not what I know I might do, and certainly not what I hope to do, e) get shot by a upset husband or poisoned by an annoyed wife, f) identified by a secret government organization as being a source of internet oddity and (hopefully) semi-subverseive thoughts and ideas,

this 4th of July

because of the company* that I have been keeping in the last 8 or 9 months, here in the blogosphere,  not the least of which are the people behind this blog hop and the other blog hops** I get to participate in.

Here, conveniently set apart by the ‘butlers of grammar’  is the appropriate holiday Post, (seeing how, according to Mistress Stephanie, we will not be doing the FTSF next week)

Quick reminder about this Holiday:  If you do not know that July 4th is one of the most scottian of holidays, then you need to write  in one of the Comment boxes below 50 times

scotts love loud noises, it lets them believe they can have an effect on the world“.

Seriously, picture the coming Holiday:

  • takes place at the height of the Summer season
  • eating and drinking to excess is encouraged
  • minimal clothing allowed in virtually all public places (including churches and hospitals)
  • outdoor sports activities including chasing frisbees, being dragged behind a boat and the use of explosive devices (such explosives, that were it December instead of July,  a visit from Homeland Security would be the immediate result)
  • …minimal clothing

So for you non-scotts reading this, three July 4th Survival Tips:

  1. stay indoors
  2. keep the lights off and the glow of the TV shielded from windows and doors
  3. turn up the air conditioning and ….wear extra clothes

We hope that helps.

…so lets have Grace remind us of the spirit of the 4th

* thanks  to all the Friends of the Doctrine and DownSprings for making this the best, ‘what-do-you-mean-the-rest-of-the-planet-may-not-care-about-our-little-holiday-yes-it-does-involve-explosives-and-beer-no-I-can’t-think-of anything-else-anyone-would-want-in-a-Holiday-no,-I-don’t-think-they-are-jealous-and-no-I-don’t-think-anyone-would-be-interested-in-what-happens-if-you-put-that-in-your-bathing-suit’ …ever

1) Janine

2) Kate

3) Stephanie

4) Dawn

** Jen and Kristi at the Twisted MixTape and Considerer and them at the 10 Things… and of course, Cyndi!


clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one


  1. Clark, I truly hope this is the very best 4th of July for you and hey it could always be worse, you could be a scott, lol!! But seriously, thank you for sharing and always linking up with us!! :)

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      true… lol but it is increasingly easy to se a secondary scott (in my own personal makeup) thanks to you guys for doing this thing.

      (don’t forget! you are totally invited to this Sunday’s Video Brunch… all it take is the google plus… (and a vidcam)

  2. Cyndi says:

    OMG – I never thought of the holidays as a personality type. July 4th is scottian!? Makes sense but whoa! Are there any “clark” holidays? Christmas is SO rogerian…Thanksgiving? Is that a clark holiday? We get to think about what we’re thankful for…it’s my favorite holiday. The rogers take over somewhat, but…OH I JUST THOUGHT. New Year’s has to be scottian. It’s full of pomp and circumstance.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      (for easy reference)
      July 4 (scottian… explosives, beer and tiny clothing, need more convincing?)

      Thanksgiving (rogerian… tradition and (re-written) history celebrated, food/meal oriented (the very menu is a part of the ….tradition!)… need more?… two words: parades

      Christmas (totally clarklike… give to friends and family secretly and without direct credit for all you do for them)… need more? …misteltoe i.e. free snacks for the nearby scotts and rogers

      New Years: scottian… (at least up to midnight…lol)

  3. Ah, must be Roger-Clark for sure because I am scared of loud noises!

  4. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    LOL. Famous legendary quote, one scott to the other scotts on the Fourth;
    “Hey guys…watch this!!”

  5. Considerer says:

    Now this is something my secondary would LOVE! Staying up late, big bangy sparkly things, lots of drink, singing and lariness.

    And squat.

    Not even sodding diddly!

    Glad I can make your fourth of July better.

    Not sure I can convince the UK to celebrate in quite the same style…

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      …maybe you can market the 4th of July as the ‘thank god those wankers moved on!! it looked like we would have them living in our basement forever’

  6. I for one would prefer to be most Scott-like in my holiday celebrations. Alas, I fear it is not to be. And I also hope you don’t have a stroke, or any of the other aforementioned incidents. And also, so glad you enjoyed my CAPS/BOLD announcement about the FTSF cancellation! :D Busted those skim-readers, didn’t I?…

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      …sorry, I’m still on the Mississippi River (1999) lol (will try to avoid the strokes, if you are careful and not give any scott more than one can of charcoal lighter fluid)

  7. Considerer says:

    More like a “Why would you ever wanna leave? What the hell did we do to YOU?! And what do you mean you’re taking that shiny chunk of land with you? Wankers!” hook, no? ;)

  8. Ok wait. I think you need to redo the ClarkScottRoger thing when it comes to the Fourth of July. Because here’s the thing. As Clarks, we tend to over-sentimentalize* and I don’t like to think that my gigantic (same as you and ha) post about why the Fourth of July means something is only for Scott. It’s for all of us…for all of us who tend to think that traditions and celebrations and life matters. I think it’s a Clark holiday, myself. Maybe that’s just me.

    *wasn’t sure that was a word and was disappointed that I didn’t make it up, sortof, because I also realized that of COURSE it was a word…I mean, duh.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      no need to have to change the Doctrine… the secret formula is the phrase, ‘everyone does everything, at one time or another’ which means, of course, that even though we talk about scottian holidays and rogerian occupations and clarklike states of mind… what we are inferring is the resonance of the commonly held perception of certain things, events, relations, activities and jobs and such… this is both for illustration (of characteristics of worldviews) and simply for the fun of it. But take 4th of July* there are activities that we all think of, the fireworks and the cookout and the parades. everyone is there, clarks, scotts and rogers and everyone could get involved in any of the activities and enjoy it and have others see them enjoy it, but! take three firecrackers and three lighters and hand them to a scott and a roger and a clark… do you think that not only will they react differently (but, and this is obvious) they would see the significance and potential of this being handed a firecracker and a lighter in very different, yet predictable manners
      and….and! these three respective spouses… three different ways of dealing with their now holiday-sanctioned-armed-stated? yes they will see it differently and react differently… now of course, if someone has a different perception of a cultural a holiday, it may very well (in fact it should) evoke a different worldview.

      you know? lol (and I suppose a clarklike female or a rogerian woman (well, maybe not the rogerian woman) could find herself in the center of a pack of scotts and say with convincing innocence ‘do you think this suit is too small’)… but my first guess would be scott!

      good question…always helps to try and see this thing from different perspectives!

      *please, ra bump bump

  9. Katia says:

    Well, this just reconfirmed all over again that as I’ve suspected I am not a Scott. Thank you for the survival tips, Clark! I do love how you manage to find creative ways in each post of connecting the topic to the doctrine. And on a more serious note I do hope none of the described in the opening paragraph happens. Sad about your friend.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      Glad to help… oh! before I forget… ( I need your mailing address, sos I can send out the Wakefield Doctrine Official docTee (clark)…

      connecting back to the Doctrine is realitively un-avoidable, as the Doctrine maintains that at the root of ‘personality types’ is a relationship, as we say, ‘how we relate ourselves to the world around us’. The cool thing about the Doctrine is that it doesn’t say ‘you do this’ or ‘you hate these’…it does say. ‘if you are in the worldview of the Outsider, chances are you will relate to this aspect of this thing…’

      the business of having a stroke is almost totally awful, there is one tiny, albeit semi-selfish, effect… it brought home to me how precious the moment I have…here…now is and that I must not squander it. (this is of particular value to clarks. and it is not that we squander our ‘Present’ but we very often get caught in other places.. other times and do not fully take advanatage of what we have…this is one of the very cool thing about Considerer’ blog hop… 10 Things….

  10. Jak says:

    Well I really hope this is the bet 4th you’ve had! Whether you keep it indoors under lock and key or go streaking nekkid shouting for the world to see, have the best time allowed by the dictations of your type(s) :)

    I will be BBQing and hopefully not dying to the Curse of the Dark Babies. That would be Bad News Bears if they show up… with all of their marked ones being at one place at the same time. Easy to wipe us all out with one swift traumatic attack.

    Besides that, though, I’m hoping it turns out to be a lot of fun!


    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      “dictations of your type(s)”

      dude! I believe you are beginning to show signs of getting comfortable with life here on Mutant Island! Excellent. I think I should invent some sort of permutation of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle and apply it to the emotional aspect of life. Something to the effect that, knowing how you feel (about something), by necessity implies a clarklike aspect, as, by definition, emotion is a non-rational state of mind and knowing things is so over-rated.

      …probably needs a little more work.