a clark, a party (you might be surprised!) the Wakefield Doctrine…you asked for real life examples, lets get started. | the Wakefield Doctrine a clark, a party (you might be surprised!) the Wakefield Doctrine…you asked for real life examples, lets get started. | the Wakefield Doctrine

a clark, a party (you might be surprised!) the Wakefield Doctrine…you asked for real life examples, lets get started.

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

The Wakefield Doctrine maintains that we all live our lives in one of three characteristic worldviews, the personal reality of ‘the Outsider’ (the clark) the environment of ‘Predator and prey’, (the scott) and the world of ‘belonging to the Herd’ (which is the perspective of the roger). We all begin life with the possibility of all three, but at an early age settle into one (which we call the predominant worldview). While we never lose the potential of experiencing the world as ‘the other two’ worldviews,  what people call personality type is, in reality, the manner of our coping with the demands and the particular challenges of these three worldviews.

Today we start a series of Posts that will, by way of little vignettes, provide us with an insight into how clarks, scotts and rogers perceive and respond to social interactions.
In other words, the Wakefield Doctrine’s advice on meeting new people and how best to make decisions regarding relationships!

Lets start by looking at a (not un-common) situation in the life of a clark:

  • a clark
  • gets invited to a party

 You are a clark and have been invited to a party being thrown by a friend at work (this friend is a scott). ( “Hey! I decided what the hell, you only live once….today’s my birthday… I reserved the private function room at the Calypso Club tonight… throwing myself a party! I need you to come to my party!! I won’t take no for an answer, what do you say?” ) You like this friend at work, it’s Friday morning so you find yourself saying, ( “Sure, that sounds good. I would like to do that thing. Put me down on the Guest List”)

The first 7/8ths of your work day  is spent enjoying the prospect of going to the party. You feel good about saying yes to your friend. You think to yourself that you really do deserve some un-structured time away from work instead of the same old visit to the family on weekends, and maybe this weekend you might not even do that, but instead just call them and talk on the phone. You actually feel excited about the prospect of meeting new people (something you haven’t done since getting your current job).

The last 1/8th of your work day is spent wondering if you really want to go out tonight, after all you do have  a pretty busy schedule after work ( no matter what they say, you know that you are not a hermit, recluse, nun or monk, but there seems to never be enough hours in the day to do all the interesting things there are to do and besides there is that resume that is nearly ready for final edit and if that is not a life priority, it is hard to imagine what is, so first things first…get that resume finished and get the job you know you should have and then there will be plenty of time for going out at night and all that stuff!)

The final 1/12th of the last 1/8th of  your work day is spent laying the ground work for a ‘no show’ at the party. ( “The party? Yeah, totally looking forward to it! I may be a bit late, there is a call I promised a relative I would make, they are overseas so the timing is critical. Sure I’ll bet you see me there, maybe a little late, more towards 9 than 8:30. No! I surely will be there!” )

The first 1/3 of your time at home before having to leave for the party is spent alternating between being comfortable with the decision to ‘give this one a miss’ and, at the same time feeling like there is something wrong with your decision. You decide to take a logical approach and, after getting some reading done, make a list of the pros and cons of going out tonight.

The last 1/3 of your time at home is spent wondering why you are finding yourself having to make a decision that you thought you have already made… you retrace the events of the day, with special attention to the exact circumstances of being invited to the party. You know that you like the friend that invited you, but you are not sure that they weren’t inviting you just because you walked up to them while they were talking to some of your other co–workers and maybe they felt that it would be rude to not invite you and besides there are some people at work that this friend seems to hang out with who are not very nice… so maybe, at least this time, it would be best to stay home. You know that if they invited you once, there will be other times… yeah that sounds like the most reasonable course of action.

The final 1/12th of the last 1/3 of your time at home begins with the thought… “god! it’s happening again!”  Your confidence in your decision to not go to the party begins to lose all credibility.. you stare at the clock… you look around at your place and think, “no! not this time. Maybe I am sort of doing it all again, but I will walk out that door and go to that party tonight”  …for the moment, there is quiet resolve and you walk out your door and head to the Calypso Club

(to be continued…)

We need to stop because it is Wednesday Morning and we have not completed the Outline for today’s BlogTalkRadio Show.

Check here or at ‘the Facebook’ for the link to the show which will begin at 4:00 pm EST today. We will be discussing the Wakefield Doctrine and what it has to offer, not only in terms of understanding the people in our lives, but how the Doctrine can help us change the things about ourselves that we have always wanted to change.

(Hey, I’m not sure, but I think the little ‘player’ you see below this sentence will get you to the show if you hit play at 4:00 pm EST today. )

Listen to internet radio with the Wakefield Doctrine on Blog Talk Radio

 

( If that didn’t work, try pasting the following into your damn browser:    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-wakefield-doctrine/2012/11/21/the-wakefield-doctrine-how-it-works  )

 

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clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one

Comments

  1. I am so not a Clark, but having to kids I don’t remember the last time I went to a good old fashioned party. That said wish I had a party to go to, lol! Happy Thanksgiving!!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Janine

      ‘having kids’ + ‘culturally enhanced holiday’ + ‘everyone eating at the same time of day’ …and this is not a party? lol have a good Thanksgiving Janine

  2. Amy says:

    Wow, that is exactly what I go through! It’s exhausting. I usually do make it to the party because I force myself, but I hate the whole process you describe! I don’t think I have described this to any one ever – I just assumed this was my quirkiness. Good to know it’s just my Clarkness. :)

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Amy

      (smile) … I suspect you (and a few of the other Readers) will see how Today’s Post is not simply the product of a skilled writer, (“hey, write what you know, dude!”)

  3. Emily says:

    Gosh, now I’m wondering if he’ll make it to the party! Sounds like a serious case of social anxiety, no? Anyway, I hope he makes it there, even if he is on the fringes of the action!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Emily

      I do too! lol The Series will be dealing with this Friday Night party from the perspective of (a) clark and a scott and a roger… same Calypso Room event, three different worldviews. btw it might be that we hear from the scott and the roger before we get to the party, so stay tuned!

  4. So I’ve never thought that I was a clark, but I have totally done that before (minus the written pro and con list). It’s like you were in my head! This was so interesting!

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Cari

      it is…and fun, but (as I have said else where) if you take this system to heart and practice identifying the personality type of the people in your life, you may find it hard to stop! (“Jeez that cashier was kinda… what a frickin scott she was!) lol thought we should warn you

  5. Downspring#1 says:

    The Doctrine is very cool. I am reminded of that upon hearing another’s astonishment at a perfect stranger describing behavior that they thought their own “quirkiness” or saying something like “It’s like you were in my head!”. There are no coincidences when it comes to relating to the world. 3 personal realities/ worldviews – relate as a clark, scott or roger. Life doesn’t have to be that complicated. LOL
    Sorry I missed the radio show today:( Will call in this Saturday for the regular Sat. Night Drive Call In Show:)
    Everyone have a pleasant, stress free holiday!

  6. Oh my goodness, you could have been talking about me right there! I’m ashamed to admit it , but up until recently I did this with a lot of things we were invited to. I don’t know why. I looked forward to going, decided what to wear and then at the last minute – pretended to be “sick” so that I could stay home in my comfy clothes and watch TV. Very, very sad…I know! I wasn’t really invited anywhere with that group of friends again, and I’ve learnt my lesson now. Now if I don’t want to go, I say so from the beginning….not at the last minute.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Melanie

      I really get a kick out of hearing you say that, especially the “…I don’t know why” This Wakefield Doctrine is probably most fun because it seems to become a number of different things to (a number of) different people, variations in how they see the three types, but the core principles seem to always stay true. In fact, you are on track as others have been, seeing not only the obvious and gross characteristics of the three individual personality types, but becoming aware of another (slightly different) perspective on the things we do everyday.
      Glad you you enjoyed the Post…these things (the Posts) often are more surprising to me than, I think, they are to the Readers! This Post was an example of the kind of writing that is seen here a lot: “alright, clark you have to come up with an example of a clark in a social interaction, but it needs to be universal enough for all ages to identify with and, …and! it needs to (somehow) be gender neutral”
      lol some of the Posts come out better than I think and all of them teach me something different about how to explain our little personality theory.

  7. Downspring#1 says:

    Call me a partypooper. I’m gonna go out on the proverbial limb (we clarks all but hang out in the damn tree) but I’m thinking that there is an awful lot of pressure put on people to conform to the “tradition” that is our present day Thanksgiving. I myself have oft reveled in the “preparation” aspect of the meal, the baking (once upon a time lol) of pies. Pies. Not cakes or jelly rolls mind you. LOL The “holiday” takes on a life of it’s own.
    Working presently as one of the underemployed in a grocery store, it struck me yesterday that you could see the clarks, scotts and rogers simply by their demeanor towards today’s monumental “significance”.
    Hint: the rogers were very abundant with “have a happy turkey day!” or talking about all the work they still had to do and all the prep etc.. They were the ones talking about all the many people (double digits in some cases) for whom they were slaving in the kitchen. God bless them! I’m sure they’ll all do Martha Stewart proud:) I am so glad I’m not a roger ‘cuz I don’t think I could take that pressure!!)
    I find myself reflecting more on those who are feeling the weight and pressure (to conform) of the holiday(s), who are not in a party frame of mind for whatever reason. But I also take time to reflect on everything I have learned thus far and as mushy as mashed rutabegas (yuk!!!) as this sounds, I’m glad to know about the Wakefield Doctrine and by extension meeting all the creative, interesting people that have shared within these pages. Thank you.
    Whatever your worldview, have a day today of your choice! And let them eat cake! LOL

  8. Cyndi says:

    I think you took a peak inside my head and took out the scenario that happens to me ALL the time. Except most of the time, I don’t even show up. I like the IDEA of going places, but in the end, the desire to stay home wins out. I worry a bit that life passes me by, but I’m usually so content to be doing what I want to be doing in my own space, that I end up not really caring about not socializing. I do plenty anyways, LOL. I am so THANKFUL I get to read your blog. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, friend!

  9. Kate Hall says:

    Ok, now I’m sure I’m a Clark. That is exactly what I go through in regards ro any social event.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      @Kate
      Welcome (don’t tell anyone, but clarks seem to pick up on this Doctrine, especially the types faster than anyone)