‘Want to see us turn a clark into a roger? ..how about into a scott’?* Series Part 2 the Wakefield Doctrine

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers)

Part 1 of our Series  ‘(as-yet-untitled) Series: Part 1 the Wakefield Doctrine, a little backstory for our experiment and the singing of the moth‘ provided us with a little background on our Test Subject. To be more specific, what we have is an adult clark, with a successful real estate business, about to attend an annual Convention. Our ‘live Experiment’ is quite simple. Given the nature of the clarklike personality type, we pretty much know how this trip will play out, in terms of what he accomplishes in going on this trip.
As a realtime demonstration of the Wakefield Doctrine we will:

  • illustrate the differences in the worldview of clarks, scotts and rogers
  • anticipate the difficulties that a clark perceives in a very common situation (well, kinda common)
  • devise a strategy for our clark to utilize
  • provide Readers with insights, not only into the worldview of a clark, but the world of rogers and scotts as well
  • have some fun while further validating the efficacy of the Wakefield Doctrine as a tool (for) self-improvement
  • yo  …(with a worldview like that, how can this not be a fun adventure?)
So lets continue to layout ‘the playing field’, if you will, of our little Experiment.  (btw), we’ve received zero suggestions in our Contest to name that Series of Posts, so lets just go with: Coming of Age in,  A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms, Josie and the…screw it!  Lets call this thing:  the ‘live Experiment’ and let it go at that.

As previously stated, our clarklike subject will be attending a 3 day real estate Conference next week. These types of Convention/Conference are meant to provide an opportunity to attend seminars and hear from experts on the latest developments in the real estate industry, (to) establish connections with other business people and most importantly of all, to develop and maintain a network of people who will become sources for future business income.  In other words, this place will be totally crowded with rogers and scotts!  So how can a clark function effectively in this environment? That is the essence of our ‘live Experiment! Stay with us as we will be developing a strategy for our fearless our relentless our totally  clarklike Test Subject.

A business convention! More specifically, a convention/conference for professionals in the real estate industry. Three days of rogers and PowerPoint, a gathering of the herd, where rogers from all over the country gather to graze in all the high-end presentation-technology money can provide! Seminars and lectures, meet ‘n greets, cocktail parties and Keynote speeches, Vendor Exhibit Halls and hospitality suites… as you walk into the Convention Hall you can hear the deafening lowing of the well-heeled rogers! …scotts?  you want to know if there are scotts at these affairs?   oh man! are there scotts!
Quick! Without thinking about it and not including (a) sexually-aroused pit viper or (a) mother tiger with 3 cubs, 2 of which you have in a sack over your shoulder and the last you are about to grab, when she comes upon you after hunting, …what is the most deadly form of scott?  (…hint: 3-5 inch stiletto heels….fashion co-ordintated iPhone… appears on the convention floor only after 1:00 pm?) Give it up for the scottian female!

OK we know what the Test Maze is going to look like, we have a good idea of where the various prizes are to be found ( if we played more on-line games this would be a funnier section of the Post. You know, making the whole Convention environment sort of a …a (fill in the name of your favorite video game).

Stay tuned for Part 3  (“OK you got me here…now what the hell do I do?”)





clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one


  1. clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


    Got to get this down on ‘paper’ before I forget (and so I can get back to work)… situation with a roger and a clark was recently recorded.
    rogerian manager, clarklike subordinate…a ‘discussion’ that was leading to an all out conflict, with the roger about to accuse the clark of some inadequacy… the roger says, ” do you have any idea how many times I’ve stood up for you?”

    Damn! what a perfectly rogerian thing to say! The thing that impresses me is not the first half (“I am so good, I stand up for you…”), that is totally predictable. It is the second half of that statement, the unspoken implication, ‘why would he need to stand up for you?’

    (I repeat) Damn!

    I mention this because I suspect some paralells with the very scottian ‘kick and pat’ form of aggression seen in scotts ( “You look kind of sick, are you feeling alright? Love the shoes!)

    …to be continued.

  2. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    Clarks into Rogers?Clarks into Scotts? Scotts into Clarks? Oh sure…Dr. Frankenstein comes out the good guy in the end and gets the girl. Igor gets blamed for the clerical error, and the poor sod monster has to take the hit for it. Hey, if this works, do you get those lightning bolts in your hair?

  3. I still think I’m a Rogerian Scott, but that’s not important. I want to win prizes, that’s why I bought Cracker Jacks and any cereal with a PRIZE inside. So, what’s the prize. I want it NOW! And, I don’t wanna jump thru hoops to get it – if it’s based on writing a so-and-so, nope. How about knowledge-based awards? No trivia, that’s for drunks in sports bars. Well, that might work. I’ve been away to long from the Wakefield and now I’m confused how being AWOL will affect my status, much like my college years. I think I remember two days of college. I have three degrees, grad, summa cum laude, business, MBA, and I’m still sorta broke. I would NOT be opposed to money prizes – those, from my experience, turn out the best contestants if you can win MONEY.

    I need some so I can go to Nashville and meet my music friends in Nashville for two weeks, they are pulling some strings for me. So maybe start a slush-fund, similar to Barack’s, and maybe the Wakefield could sponsor me in my quest to write the next big music hit. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing, except the money will be well spent and any I make will be donated to the Wakefield Project, like the Red Cross, who (if you look) use about 2% of donated money for the actual disaster, and pay the BOARD the rest. Did you know that? All that Red Cross money goes to the Red Cross, they benefit = “OH BOY A TORNADO!” We’ll get chumps to donate and we will be the first on the scene, and can set up ways for people to donate! Now, I can get my new Benz!! Oh, we will help out, and show TV footage of us helping out. Those short TV clips? that’s about the TOTAL of their entire help. They keep the rest. Look it up. I digress and belch at the same time.

    So, let’s have a money contest or a contest to decide who gets the money – I have no idea where the money will come from – much like the Government. Anyone know Ben B? He could help this weekend, he has these cool machines that can print money *snap* just like that! Anyone know him? I could use his help, he’s so good at it – and don’t worry about devaluing the dollar, he doesn’t and no one else knows enough about it.

    What were we talking about? I need a cigarette. If you care to respond, please do so with dead presidents, they speak volumes, even though they are dead. But, we still like ’em. I’ve always wondered – are dollar valuations/denominations based on the value of that President? How about some $3 and $9 bills with Vice Presidents on them? Or, just one person, like Ben Franklin on all bills – oh wait – he will be on the new money that will be printed soon.

    I need more coffee and a cigarette, did I already say that – send money, I have too much pride to stand on a corner and hold up a sign that is an obvious lie. I wonder how much a headless guy could make on a corner? I bet he would make a fortune. Hmmm, something to think about. So much high-frequency data nowadays, hard to focus on just one thing for very long – we are losing our attention span, much like the way I’ve already lost you reading this . . . remind me again, signed, your friend, Jolly Roger – not really your friend.
    signed your friend Scott, no. Signed your friend Clark. better.

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:


      (a sage and frighteningly insightful repsonse will follow…after I take about 26 qualudes to offsett the contact speedrush I have from reading your Comment!)

      Great Comment! Keep up the Good Work! Stay away from high voltage lines, young children and cats and do not establish eye contact with anyone having any sort of insignia on their clothing!

  4. Steve Crabtree says:

    26 Q’s are a bit much. Try about 10 Norco’s, first. Then, add some valium for taste. Strange sensations will crawl all over your mind. I’ve had to resort to coconuts like Tom Hank’s and I believe that Wilson was a Roger. Not that that matters now, since he was saved by a passing ship, but don’t make your response too scary, I might run down the street naked! I don’t like cats, and they don’t like me. Love dogs, I can be the biggest ass and my dog still loves me. Not true with wives. Do ONE wrong thing, and it is stored in their database mind forever.

    You know, the only guy that didn’t have his head up his ass was Thomas Jefferson. Ever read his accomplishments? Outstanding man. Now we have NO ONE that can compare to this guy. Not even Derek Jeter. We value junk, he valued freedom and free enterprise. Now THAT is something worth writing about. I don’t care if or how Brittney Spears losing her fat ass after a baby. I don’t care that Syria is nutz. I do care about Americans putting up with all the bullshit from our government and helicopter Ben. You know the dollar is worth about .18 cents now? So, it’s really not a dollar, but an .18 cent piece of paper. I need a cigarette now. Smoking is bad for your health, that’s why I took back my smoker I got on sale at Walmart. Always something. I don’t know why I’m taking up your time here, hell, I don’t even know why I’m taking up mine. But, somehow, things seem to make sense here, much like Rod Serling, or is it Sterling? How cares about a T except the British. Queens Jubilee, woopee! British. They have a worse economy than ours, but still find time to jump up and down over the Queen, who wore white, the color of her skin. And Harry and Bullboy with his trophy wife. Let’s talk about Kate’s shoes, by God! The world economy is crumbling, the IMF is a complete and utter failure, but damn, those are some good looking shoes! An armada following her, it’s probably the best Navy they have, or at least a better one. But, their fish and chips beats the hell out of Long John Silver’s by a mile. What was it we were talking about?

    I need a drink and a cigarette. Someone please get me one. Hey, let’s invent a machine that will do that for us! Then have an IPO like Facebook! Then, everyone will hate us! Good idea! Wakefield should give away prizes to the inept. They need it. Like I need a cigarette. But, smoking is bad, but why do people still do it? Maybe it’s the mind’s reward system. Or, maybe they are addicted, or maybe they are stupid. Or maybe they own stock and are worried about the fraud of Wall Street – (Gordon Gekko is a real man).

    Well, I better go feed the cows now. Need to take a few Vikes, drink some good vodka, and have a nice evening. Or maybe I should get on the Wakefield channel tonight! Did you know that one of my arms is twice as long as half it’s length? Crazy! I mean, it’s pandelerium! Anyway, I sincerely doubt anyone reading this is circumlocuting what I’m getting around to. I’m still trying to figure out the Clark, Roger, Scott definitions. It’s like a fortune cookie – vague and you can make it fit anything – you will find your way out of the darkness and light will fill your eyes! If so, I probably won’t eat there anymore. I don’t like alligators on golf shirts. What’s the point? Alligators don’t golf. They eat golfers. And everything else. Too bad about those bad boys – they get a bad rap cause they do taste good. Is there much difference between a croc and an alligator? Both will eat your ass. I need to go have a smoke. As a matter of fact, I need to go see what I can get into trouble doing! Saturday night is alright for fighting, or so I’ve heard. But, I’m mellow yellow this evening.

    Hope you all have a nice evening – great chatting with you – Lance Armstrong is calling – you know he only has one testicle? I know a guy who has three! Maybe he will lend him one?

    Over and out – adios, mi amigos!

    Steve in Dallas working on the meaning of life – Martin Heidegger “Time and Being” is a hard read.

  5. Steve Crabtree says:

    We must meet. It will be like a real Pink Floyd experience, except can I wear shorts? Not pink ones, tho.

    what a great night. I might even turn out greater! Is there anything greater than greater? Too bad about Bob Welch, he probably stayed up all night and listened to his music and said “oh my god!” Stevie got fat and we ran out of coke! I’m gonna kill myself so people will wonder “why did he do that?”

    that’s why people do that. Too much Fleetwood Mac. Sometimes it strikes the wrong chord, or lost fame, now gone, can be a real downer. true.

    David Gilmour sold all of his equipment and Pink Floyd stuff. He did. I liked Keith Moon. But, so many guitarits killing themselves, why guitarists? Anyone?