‘How Many DownSprings does it take to Enter a simple Contest?’ ( and other FAQs) the Wakefield Doctrine ‘splains it all!

Welcome to the Wakefield Doctrine ( the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers )

Well, Readers ….Contest Week is here at last! The First Post has (finally!) been submitted for consideration and we are ready for the rest of you Writers to send in your Writifcations!

There has been some confusion as to the Rules of our Post-writing Contest. Let us start by saying,  (that) these Rules and Requirements are meant to enhance your enjoyment, provide a certain consistency and still allow the widest range of artisculated expression. And seeing how,  Steve Jobs is still dead from his recent ‘actual death experience‘ it behooves us to provide you with the following guidance, in the form of the ubiquitous FAQs*

Q) I want to enter your Contest. Is there (are) any limits on how I format my Post. (for) (..the contest)?
 A) No. There are no limits on the length of the Post, they may be as long (or short) as you desire. The only limit is that no Entry written using WingDing type font will allowed.

Q) So I can write about naked animals or flying snakes?!
A) Yes, yes you can. ( In the upcoming biography, ‘Steven Jobs are you serious, this guy was such a roger‘ It is documented that Mr. Jobs secretly purchased Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch and planned to use it as a wildlife refuge for flying snakes)

Q) I have a Post written that is totally wonderful! How do I submit this wonderfully written, (‘what is that perfume you are wearing?’) to the Contest?
A) Good Question (..I’m not wearing any perfume ;} ) Use the Comment section at the bottom of this Post or send us a message at ‘the Facebook’ ( which, as few people know, was invented by Steven Jobs…the project, code named “Your Face and My Pancreas” was sidelined by Steve’s invention of the ‘pancake’).  We will take the link to your site and print the Title of your Post hyperlinked to your site.

Q) So, what you are saying is: you will send all the Readers of this Contest to my own blog?
A) Yes siree!

Q) Anything else I should know about Steve or your stupid Contest?
A) The One Requirement of the Contest is that the actual, written-out phrase:  ‘a dead balloon is a dead balloon’ must be a part of the Title of the Post. ( as far as Steve goes we think he was better than da Vinci )

So send in your Entries. The Contest Post will appear on Friday the 13th and we will Post entries until 12 midnight (at night)! The Post will remain up until the (secret) Judge’s Final Decision on the 17th. Good luck! If you are a roger and would rather contact us at ‘the FaceBook’ go here  or  go here!




*contrary to what many of the in-curably rogerian fans of apple and Jobs would have us believe the FAQ has been around well before Jobs invented the Computer ( which was right after he invented the bicycle, the waffle iron and the electrical nose hair remover). To support this contention we cite our friends at ‘the Wikipedia:

“…the FAQ format itself is quite old. For instance, Matthew Hopkins wrote The Discovery of Witches in 1647 as a list of questions and answers, introduced as “Certaine Queries answered”. Many old catechisms are in a question-and-answer (Q&A) format. Summa Theologica, written by Thomas Aquinas in the second half of the 13th century, is a series of common questions about Christianity to which he wrote a series of replies.” ( www.wikipedia.com )

Thats all I could find…


clarkscottroger About clarkscottroger
Well, what exactly do you want to know? Whether I am a clark or a scott or roger? If you have to ask, then you need to keep reading the Posts for two reasons: a)to get a clear enough understanding to be able to make the determination of which type I am and 2) to realize that by definition I am all three.* *which is true for you as well, all three...but mostly one


  1. RCoyne RC oyne says:

    Steve also invented balloons…

  2. clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

    lol … “NO!”

  3. AKH says:

    My link never posted in comments yesterday. Here’s the shortlink:


  4. Downspring#1 says:


    That’s the link to my entry for the contest. It is the most recent post over at GirlieOnTheEdge. Hope everyone enjoys it:)

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      perhaps AKH or the roger would like to help DS#1 understand how to submit a proper link?

  5. Downspring#1 says:

    Did I tell you how much I enjoyed the music vid? lol

    OK FINE! I had a feeling I did it wrong but I “acted” and didn’t “think” about it much. Yeah, I “felt” a little funny about it afterwards…….

  6. Downspring#1 says:

    P.S. At least I have until the 13th to figure it out, right?!

  7. RCoyne RCoyne says:

    Dang…these entries are pretty damned good…hey progenitor, can I maybe get a do-over?

    • clarkscottroger clarkscottroger says:

      (un-intended consequence of the chosen format)…all you have to do is re-do the Post at ‘the other end of the link’
      Of course, come Friday (the 13th!!) we will ask all contention to put down their fingers and back away from the keyboard until the 17th

      Lets think like that…so on the Contest Day ( the 13th!!!) I will remove all the linkation from the previous Comments so no one can look at the other person’s paper…lol

      Unless, as a group we think we should do this immediately?

      Speak of this, binyons

  8. Steve Crabtree says:

    Balloons. Baboons. I didn’t invent balloons, I defined them. I found they are more useful by idiots who use them as a prop to direct the eye away from BS and say “oh look at the balloons!” Circus crap. Ever see a car going home from work full of balloons? The helium could be put to better use. Instead, we fill them and let them fly into the air 0 wow!

    What’s the number I call to talk to you people? I’ve misplaced it and it requires a code (we don’t need no stinking codes) I’m a Roger and that admits me in auto-style. But, hey, where’s that Scottian throat to threaten me?

    Have a nice few minutes, I’m about to talk you into a Walenda? event. Carl died, didn’t he? Niagra Falls, slowly I turn, step, by step . . .